Friendly reminder of The Bump Community Rules!!

AlliJeee

Threads like these are my new replacement for Real Housewives, Keeping up with the Kardashians and (my new fave) Chrisly Knows Best - Im not one for speaking up/out the way some people do on this board, but I do enjoy reading it

I think the key to being part of this board and not leaving with hurt feelings is to be able to ignore.  I admittedly, dont have thick skin and it took me a few times of posting and getting, lets call them "unhelpful" responses in return, to realize - this is a public board, with lots of different types of people, from all different backgrounds, ages, levels of education, finances, life experience, etc.  I think some people "get" each other and some people dont - and thats okay.  I contribute when I think I will have something that might help someone else.  Now, when I post questions I know that I may get really valuable responses, and I may get responses that are best to disregard.  Its a crap shoot  Personally, I think embracing that philosophy is the key to happiness on this board, or at least it is for me.  

In any event - Its Thirsty Thursday, ladies and thanks to yesterday's "Adult Beverage" thread, Im craving a Shirley Temple like nobody's business.  Party on! 

brichar31

Singingmama10 said:

Sorry, jumping into this late.  I woke up in the middle of the night (because apparently that is what I do now) and read this.  I really don't post much, I would like to more, and plan on doing it more.  But at first I was a little scared too, because I thought the tone was rude.  However, what I was doing wrong was jumping from the tri-board then back to here... and therefore, ended up confusing the two different boards.  I gotta say if there was only the tri-boards, yeah TB wouldn't be for me.  but for the most part I have noticed that the woman on N14 really are kind with some kick ass senses of humor.  to anyone who is reading this if you made the same mistake as me, try to differentiate between the different boards, because N14 really is mostly butterflies and unicorns.  

Exactly this!  Before I made my way over to N14 I was lurking the 1st trimester board and after I lurked the N14 board a bit I felt so much more comfortable posting.  I don't normally post new conversations but I like to add to ongoing ones.  I admit one day I disagreed with a post by a girl and replied then felt bad for taking it so personal, you live and learn.  Other than that its been fabulous here and I really do care about these girls, I check this more than FB now!

Also you are a-holes for all the cake references...its my DH's bday today and I honestly debated buying him a cake because I'm going to EAT it all....worst. wife. ever.

DoubleUp8

I just wanted to add I am totally cool with our reputation as the skittles and rainbows board and I wish everybody understood how tame we are here! N14 rocks! :-bd

lisaren

brichar31 said:

Singingmama10 said:

Sorry, jumping into this late.  I woke up in the middle of the night (because apparently that is what I do now) and read this.  I really don't post much, I would like to more, and plan on doing it more.  But at first I was a little scared too, because I thought the tone was rude.  However, what I was doing wrong was jumping from the tri-board then back to here... and therefore, ended up confusing the two different boards.  I gotta say if there was only the tri-boards, yeah TB wouldn't be for me.  but for the most part I have noticed that the woman on N14 really are kind with some kick ass senses of humor.  to anyone who is reading this if you made the same mistake as me, try to differentiate between the different boards, because N14 really is mostly butterflies and unicorns.  

Exactly this!  Before I made my way over to N14 I was lurking the 1st trimester board and after I lurked the N14 board a bit I felt so much more comfortable posting.  I don't normally post new conversations but I like to add to ongoing ones.  I admit one day I disagreed with a post by a girl and replied then felt bad for taking it so personal, you live and learn.  Other than that its been fabulous here and I really do care about these girls, I check this more than FB now!

Also you are a-holes for all the cake references...its my DH's bday today and I honestly debated buying him a cake because I'm going to EAT it all....worst. wife. ever.


------------/////-----------
Hahaha she called us assholes. I like her.

MollMoll4

For real though... this shit is bananas. @lisaren I am glad you ignored whomever was being an ass. Sorry you had to deal with that - people can suck.

jlove253

I also want to add that I am a sensitive person by nature and can feel hurt really easily, or too a deep level, and this board has never made me feel bad. One time I posted a comment, and then defended it and someone made a snippy remark. I was going to defend myself for making that reference, and then stopped and thought about it. I realized that person probably wasn't trying to hurt my feelings or pick on me, they were just being sassy. So I let it go, and nothin more came of it. I don't even remember who said it, and hardly believe anyone else of this board even took a second to think about it themselves. Give people on here the benefit of the doubt, let them use quips and don't take things so seriously. I really love this board, and also recognize the benefits of being in a community that is far less homogeneous than the community I'm a part of in real life. The different people here benefit me as much as the people who are like me, and I hope I'm helping others too by presenting my own POVs and experiences.

Thanks N14! I really like you people!

lisaren

We like you too.

ProcessofBecoming

Again, I'm late to the good posts! This is what I get for going to bed at 9 last night. I don't have much to add to the conversation except the following: 1. @lisaren has been an excellent and supportive moderator and her positive attitude, in spite of everything she's dealing with right now, is nothing short of amazing. Anyone who is harassing her deserves a smack in the mouth. 2. I've been pregnant 4 times in the last 3 years. I've seen me some birth month board drama during that time--November '14 is a puffy, fluffy cakewalk compared to the ridiculousness I remember reading on April '14. And for that, I'm grateful, as the ladies here really do try to support each other. There's been some snark here and there, but this really has been a supportive community, IMHO. 

And finally, 3. Any board that offers up as much food porn as this one deserves a gold star in and of itself. It makes me feel better for the Cheetos I ate for breakfast this morning. I AM NOT ASHAMED (okay, maybe I am, but only a little).

At this point, I'm 15 weeks as of today (and with a doctor's appointment this afternoon, because I am ancient and they want to see me every 2 weeks--no, not stressful at all!!!). Given all of the losses and sadness that many members have had to endure on this board, I'm just grateful to still be able to be a member and talk pregnancy crap with you fine women.

That's my two cents. And as a special thank you, I present to you, the best cake of all time (for me, anyway): the icebox cake. I can hoover the better part of one of these babies in one sitting:

iheartscraps

I think that we all need to just consider what "respect" is.  People jump down each others throats on here like its sport.  They will post memes mocking, they will curse at you, and they will ridicule your post.   

The idea is this board is for everyone.  There is no other way to say it, its for everyone and well people violate the terms, well they deserve to be called out on it.  When posters get ridiculed maliciously, they desereve to be called out on it as well.  If you curse at me, you will get what you get along the parameters of the site.

I've moved on,  I learned the procedures, and am having a blast.  We can argue about this all day  but its plain to see that people won't change, you just have to move on and enjoy the boards.

If something is offensive, flag it, if someone curses at you, flag it, if they maliciously post on your Original Post and change the topic, flag it, its intentional, malicious and does not go within the parameters of "respect".

We know that it must be delivered in a manner that is respectful and we know that it doesn't get delivered respectfully so if this is YOUR board and YOu love it, and there's no tone set, then set the tone.   Don't leave it.  Its not a war, its a place to enjoy, commune with other pregnant mothers IN your birth club and if you go away, you are not contributing and we all miss out.   

I get angry at some of the people who mock my posts, (oh yeah lets not even pretend it hasn't happened) but then some of them make me laugh like crazy because they are insane.   

It is a GREAT board.  I really like it, I learned something about a test I took yesterday, learned about nubs and gender,  it really is, but if you don't learn to do things respectfully it could be taken away from us.   

 Does this post put down or attack another user? 
Any communication in the forums, even those expressing disagreement or opinions must be delivered in a manner that is respectful toward other users (ask for support, answer a question, further the discussion, etc)."

Remember nowhere does it say:  That a poster cannot post something within the realm of their pregnancy.  Thats what the whole bump is about.

Can we move on and just enjoy it.    But lets not be crass and curse at others, lets not ridicule others, lets not mock their questions, don't tell people they can't post something, because honestly, there's something to mock in all of us, 

this is not the place for it, create your own group, its free!  

This whole "original poster's from the beginning/friends" thing is devisive.  We all deserve to enjoy this.  Pregnancy is hard enough.

Enjoy your day and lets learn to respect each other.

mamatohne

I'm going to state my opinion here! It's not bullying, it's not malicious it's not an attack. A opionion.... you annoy the ever loving shit out of me!

lizzielu82

iheartscraps said:

I think that we all need to just consider what "respect" is.  People jump down each others throats on here like its sport.  They will post memes mocking, they will curse at you, and they will ridicule your post.   

The idea is this board is for everyone.  There is no other way to say it, its for everyone and well people violate the terms, well they deserve to be called out on it.  When posters get ridiculed maliciously, they desereve to be called out on it as well.  If you curse at me, you will get what you get along the parameters of the site.

I've moved on,  I learned the procedures, and am having a blast.  We can argue about this all day  but its plain to see that people won't change, you just have to move on and enjoy the boards.

If something is offensive, flag it, if someone curses at you, flag it, if they maliciously post on your Original Post and change the topic, flag it, its intentional, malicious and does not go within the parameters of "respect".

We know that it must be delivered in a manner that is respectful and we know that it doesn't get delivered respectfully so if this is YOUR board and YOu love it, and there's no tone set, then set the tone.   Don't leave it.  Its not a war, its a place to enjoy, commune with other pregnant mothers IN your birth club and if you go away, you are not contributing and we all miss out.   

I get angry at some of the people who mock my posts, (oh yeah lets not even pretend it hasn't happened) but then some of them make me laugh like crazy because they are insane.   

It is a GREAT board.  I really like it, I learned something about a test I took yesterday, learned about nubs and gender,  it really is, but if you don't learn to do things respectfully it could be taken away from us.   

 Does this post put down or attack another user? 
Any communication in the forums, even those expressing disagreement or opinions must be delivered in a manner that is respectful toward other users (ask for support, answer a question, further the discussion, etc)."

Remember nowhere does it say:  That a poster cannot post something within the realm of their pregnancy.  Thats what the whole bump is about.

Can we move on and just enjoy it.    But lets not be crass and curse at others, lets not ridicule others, lets not mock their questions, don't tell people they can't post something, because honestly, there's something to mock in all of us, 

this is not the place for it, create your own group, its free!  

This whole "original poster's from the beginning/friends" thing is devisive.  We all deserve to enjoy this.  Pregnancy is hard enough.

Enjoy your day and lets learn to respect each other.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This isn't your board alone - you can't dictate how other people respond. Take your own advice and and stop judging everyone else. If you don't like it, then find a place where people post like robots and have zero opinions. This is getting old. 

brooklyngirl18

i dont understand where all this animosity towards some of us is coming from. at one point we were all new, i mean we all got knocked up in feb/march and found this board and posted our first comment. we dont bite, we have opinions, we are funny, we are going through a lot of shit, we are supportive, we are protective, we are NOT bullies. if you hang out for a bit you will realize those who get flamed deserve it and if you disagree, that's cool. we dont have to be friends but im so sick of the whining and the poor me drama. it's old.

missnacholover

iheartscraps said:

I think that we all need to just consider what "respect" is.  People jump down each others throats on here like its sport.  They will post memes mocking, they will curse at you, and they will ridicule your post.   

The idea is this board is for everyone.  There is no other way to say it, its for everyone and well people violate the terms, well they deserve to be called out on it.  When posters get ridiculed maliciously, they desereve to be called out on it as well.  If you curse at me, you will get what you get along the parameters of the site.

I've moved on,  I learned the procedures, and am having a blast.  We can argue about this all day  but its plain to see that people won't change, you just have to move on and enjoy the boards.

If something is offensive, flag it, if someone curses at you, flag it, if they maliciously post on your Original Post and change the topic, flag it, its intentional, malicious and does not go within the parameters of "respect".

We know that it must be delivered in a manner that is respectful and we know that it doesn't get delivered respectfully so if this is YOUR board and YOu love it, and there's no tone set, then set the tone.   Don't leave it.  Its not a war, its a place to enjoy, commune with other pregnant mothers IN your birth club and if you go away, you are not contributing and we all miss out.   

I get angry at some of the people who mock my posts, (oh yeah lets not even pretend it hasn't happened) but then some of them make me laugh like crazy because they are insane.   

It is a GREAT board.  I really like it, I learned something about a test I took yesterday, learned about nubs and gender,  it really is, but if you don't learn to do things respectfully it could be taken away from us.   

 Does this post put down or attack another user? 
Any communication in the forums, even those expressing disagreement or opinions must be delivered in a manner that is respectful toward other users (ask for support, answer a question, further the discussion, etc)."

Remember nowhere does it say:  That a poster cannot post something within the realm of their pregnancy.  Thats what the whole bump is about.

Can we move on and just enjoy it.    But lets not be crass and curse at others, lets not ridicule others, lets not mock their questions, don't tell people they can't post something, because honestly, there's something to mock in all of us, 

this is not the place for it, create your own group, its free!  

This whole "original poster's from the beginning/friends" thing is devisive.  We all deserve to enjoy this.  Pregnancy is hard enough.

Enjoy your day and lets learn to respect each other.

~~~~Quote Fail~~~~

Well, I'm fucked.

lisaren

And for the love of everything please do NOT FOLLOW THE ADVICE OF ABOVE POSTER and flag every thing you don't agree with. This can bring on consequences for further membership on the bump.
There are rules as to what to flag and why and when. I highlighted this above.

PandaCon

iheartscraps said:

I think that we all need to just consider what "respect" is.  People jump down each others throats on here like its sport.  They will post memes mocking, they will curse at you, and they will ridicule your post.   

The idea is this board is for everyone.  There is no other way to say it, its for everyone and well people violate the terms, well they deserve to be called out on it.  When posters get ridiculed maliciously, they desereve to be called out on it as well.  If you curse at me, you will get what you get along the parameters of the site.

I've moved on,  I learned the procedures, and am having a blast.  We can argue about this all day  but its plain to see that people won't change, you just have to move on and enjoy the boards.

If something is offensive, flag it, if someone curses at you, flag it, if they maliciously post on your Original Post and change the topic, flag it, its intentional, malicious and does not go within the parameters of "respect".

We know that it must be delivered in a manner that is respectful and we know that it doesn't get delivered respectfully so if this is YOUR board and YOu love it, and there's no tone set, then set the tone.   Don't leave it.  Its not a war, its a place to enjoy, commune with other pregnant mothers IN your birth club and if you go away, you are not contributing and we all miss out.   

I get angry at some of the people who mock my posts, (oh yeah lets not even pretend it hasn't happened) but then some of them make me laugh like crazy because they are insane.   

It is a GREAT board.  I really like it, I learned something about a test I took yesterday, learned about nubs and gender,  it really is, but if you don't learn to do things respectfully it could be taken away from us.   

 Does this post put down or attack another user? 
Any communication in the forums, even those expressing disagreement or opinions must be delivered in a manner that is respectful toward other users (ask for support, answer a question, further the discussion, etc)."

Remember nowhere does it say:  That a poster cannot post something within the realm of their pregnancy.  Thats what the whole bump is about.

Can we move on and just enjoy it.    But lets not be crass and curse at others, lets not ridicule others, lets not mock their questions, don't tell people they can't post something, because honestly, there's something to mock in all of us, 

this is not the place for it, create your own group, its free!  

This whole "original poster's from the beginning/friends" thing is devisive.  We all deserve to enjoy this.  Pregnancy is hard enough.

Enjoy your day and lets learn to respect each other.

____________________edit quote fail___________________________________
Your post is exactly why I posted to flag stuff. People like you who think that we shouldn't swear or eye roll something we think is ridiculous are wrong.  That is NOT a violation of the TOS. 

FYI to others itf you repeatedly flag things for curse words, opinions and "mocking/bullying" you will be the ones getting banned for not using the flagging guideline properly. 

Here are the flagging guidelines: Note the highlighted portion says extreme.

So, what's up with the "flag" button?

All members will have the ability to anonymously report posts that will now come directly to both moderator and admin attention. Keep in mind that we will review and take appropriate actions. This flagging option is NOT to be used as a “dislike” button or on posts that may disagree with you, etc.

The Bump will keep records of all reported posts and handle abusers of this flagging privilege individually.

In addition to flagged posts, we will continue to address any violations of our Community Rules. Review them here.

What should I flag?:

Spam- Any posts advertising services

Harassment- If you feel a user is harassing a member to an extreme level.

Online Vandalism- Posts designed to raise a user’s post count.

Personal Information- Any post where a person’s personal information is being given without their consent. This includes name, telephone number, address, email address, work information, etc.

Impersonating Other Members/The Bump Employees- Any username designed to be acopy of another user’s name or Knot Employee.
An obvious violation of the Community Rules should also be flagged.

I say this so that others don't start willy nilly flagging swearing and eye rolls because that will get you reprimanded not the original poster. 

Have a great day. 

lisaren

Yo, my UO, entitlement and narcissism , yeah now you know why

PandaCon

I also have a slight inkling that you are the one bothering @lisaren.  I am sure, because she is an awesome mod, that she won't confirm my suspision. 

Leave her alone. That is all. 

edit" speeling is difficult 

lisaren

What was your favorite song growing up? Mine was B-I-N-G-O

dr_pr

What's up with The Bump lately?  Parenting imploded earlier this week; TTGP imploded yesterday; and now we (the rainbow and cupcakes board) are dealing with drama!  It's all great for my entertainment, but is tanking my productivity!

@lisaren--you kick ass as mod.

All the regs--I love you guys, and please don't change.

All the sorta-regs (like me!)--we need to post more because we're all super cool.

All the newbs/lurkers--lurk a bit and then get to posting!!!!!  

cshea173

Singingmama10 said:

Sorry, jumping into this late.  I woke up in the middle of the night (because apparently that is what I do now) and read this.  I really don't post much, I would like to more, and plan on doing it more.  But at first I was a little scared too, because I thought the tone was rude.  However, what I was doing wrong was jumping from the tri-board then back to here... and therefore, ended up confusing the two different boards.  I gotta say if there was only the tri-boards, yeah TB wouldn't be for me.  but for the most part I have noticed that the woman on N14 really are kind with some kick ass senses of humor.  to anyone who is reading this if you made the same mistake as me, try to differentiate between the different boards, because N14 really is mostly butterflies and unicorns.  

I completely agree!! I have posted a few times here and there and would like to post more.  If I can figure out some of it lol.  But I was a bit apprehensive after reading some of the tri-board posts.  Pretty scary!!  This board seems great and has a sense of humor. 

DoubleUp8

missnacholover said:

~~~~Quote Fail~~~~

Well, I'm fucked.

I think I have a bump crush on you nacho!
;;)

lisaren

Seriously, it's all good

This board has done nothing wrong. I've done nothing wrong.

hiketheworld

I miss out when I sleep...

I fall in the middle here. I like this board, there are lots of great women on here providing great advice. But I hate drama. The key is that you don't have to participate in it if you don't want to.

If you disagree with someone it's okay to say so. They may disagree right back. Others may agree with them or with you. Either way, it's okay!

I choose to try and say things that are friendly and positive, ask questions and provide support. That doesn't mean I don't roll my eyes hardcore at some of what is said on here and I will occasionally comment on that kind of thing, like right now. I just choose to regularly post on threads about bed sheets or whatever else. It keeps my experience on the bump what I want it to be.

It's like a choose your own adventure book. Pick your own path but just let everyone do the same. If you are 100% unicorns and glitter sunshine excellent- just be you. If you are 100% snarky- just be you! In a forum of 500+ women we aren't all going to get along but as long as you enjoy cake, spaghetti, nachos, cheesy bread, or milkshakes, chances are you have something in common with someone else.

lisaren

^^ exactly! And don't get all butthurt. And use words like bullying.

Celticlass6

Hehehe. Butthurt. I seriously love you gals and wish I was as quick with the sass as some of you seem to be. I don't think of things for another 4 hours....

renbee

This girl again?

Shit. Cock. Fuck. Piss. Ass. Damn.

lisaren

I FUCKIN love you @Aaren91011‌

lisaren

And I just sang very loudly "Edie Brickell - What I Am" seemed appropriate for this thread.

Tkf1085

hiketheworld said:

I miss out when I sleep...

I fall in the middle here. I like this board, there are lots of great women on here providing great advice. But I hate drama. The key is that you don't have to participate in it if you don't want to.

If you disagree with someone it's okay to say so. They may disagree right back. Others may agree with them or with you. Either way, it's okay!

I choose to try and say things that are friendly and positive, ask questions and provide support. That doesn't mean I don't roll my eyes hardcore at some of what is said on here and I will occasionally comment on that kind of thing, like right now. I just choose to regularly post on threads about bed sheets or whatever else. It keeps my experience on the bump what I want it to be.

It's like a choose your own adventure book. Pick your own path but just let everyone do the same. If you are 100% unicorns and glitter sunshine excellent- just be you. If you are 100% snarky- just be you! In a forum of 500+ women we aren't all going to get along but as long as you enjoy cake, spaghetti, nachos, cheesy bread, or milkshakes, chances are you have something in common with someone else.

NACHOS. Yes please.

renbee

lisaren said:

I FUCKIN love you @Aaren91011‌

See, this alone is proof that even if you get into it with somebody on here or don't agree with something they post, you shake it off and move on. Like a month ago @Lisaren and I were NOT friends by any means. I said some shit, she said some shit, it got pretty heated. And now it's a fucking love fest. 

Nfranco973

y'all had cake!????? |)
Now I may agree your a bunch of meanies!!!!!!! Lol

lisaren

I think I even called you cupcake @Aaren91011‌

SweetMelissa5

I just want to say that for all the women who insist that these forums exist to provide pregnant women with a space to post for unconditional support, advice, whatever, you're incorrect. These forums exist to provide revenue for the bump, and your experience here is whatever you make of it. Yes, there is a ton of advice, support, and friendship to be found, but you have to put in the effort if that's what you want out of it. As a whole, the bump is definitely on the snarkier, plain-speaking side of the spectrum of the pregnancy sites that are out there, so if the tone really bothers you, it makes more .sense to check out the (probably) hundreds of other sites dedicated to pregnancy and children rather than trying to change well-established norms. Also, cursing at someone isn't a TOU violation unless you're actually calling that person a swear word or derogatory term; cursing is actually accepted and permissible here.

Signed the occasional poster/constant lurker.

mander82

So I am short handed at work this week. Super busy. Between the TTGP shit storm and now this I am not getting anything done!
Lol...I try to keep out of the drama but I still try to keep up and know what's going on.

Just want to add that N14 is pretty fucking awesome. You don't have to argue or start shit to be one of us. I don't post dumb shit that's obviously going to rub people the wrong way and I don't step in and white knight for people either. I just eat my popcorn and take part in the happy conversations.
When I first came here from TTGP I thought it was a tad too "rainbow and butterfly" here for my liking, but when all us strangers get tossed on a board just because we got knocked up at the same time, it's probably best to have the rainbow & butterfly atmosphere til we all get to know each other.
Sorry.....run on sentence.

Maelara

Aaren91011 said:

This girl again?

Shit. Cock. Fuck. Piss. Ass. Damn.

OMG! I didn't think I could fucking love you more!

MrsG1019

FFS.... @iheartscraps‌ -- just go away. (All those "pregnancy hormones" made me say it -- mean huh? You've done nothing but stir the drama pot since you've made your presence known... Which don't get me wrong... Has been entertaining but it's also exhausting. We are all grown ass women. It's a FORUM... Lighten up and enjoy the company! It's not that serious so take what you want from it and MOVE ON. You clearly don't get what so many ladies have so nicely tried to explain. & now you're picking a fight with our mod?!? (who mind you-- has been a SAINT and been nothing short of wonderful all while going thru her own struggles with her sweet baby.)

you must really love all this attention and being tagged in so many posts.. I don't get it but it's no way to make friends.

Shrug.** Off to make myself a new batch of popcorn cuz I can't imagine this thread dying down anytime soon **

TeeJ526

I'm genuinely fascinated. How do the people that come on sites like this, call people bullies, rude, and have tantrums because people disagree or curse at them function in real life?

mommymeg143

Aaren91011 said:

This girl again?

Shit. Cock. Fuck. Piss. Ass. Damn.

Aaren, you have to be one of my most favorite people ever.

I hearts craps. Not so much.

RedBirdFly

I tried to be nice to her at first and now I feel bad for that.

Can she go away? I don't want to be nice to her anymore and I don't do sarcasm well. Or mean well.

MollMoll4

RedBirdFly said:

I tried to be nice to her at first and now I feel bad for that. Can she go away? I don't want to be nice to her anymore and I don't do sarcasm well. Or mean well.

Me too! However, I don't think it's wrong to give people the benefit of the doubt!

In light of recent events though? Fuck that. This girl will be getting no love from me. This is my feeling on the matter now: