Attachment Parenting

Family bedroom

We have a larger master bedroom. Queen bed for DH and myself. Toddler bed for 4 year old. Crib for 1 year old. Other two bedrooms are very far away from master. Too far away for us to be from kids. It works. When do we stop room sharing? One bedroom is set up for 4 year old. She is not interested in it even if I offer to sleep in the double bed with her. No one I know co sleeps on purpose or room shares. I need perspective. I assume the 4 yr old will ask for her own space at some point.

Re: Family bedroom

  • do what works for you and your family. if you are all sharing a room, and everyone is happy, then what's the problem? co-sleeping/bed sharing is the norm in most parts of the world. if at some point the setup is no longer working for you, then make a change. if you have a room all set up, then i'm sure your 4 year old will let you know when she's ready to move. if it is no longer working for you the parents, at some point you could try to gently transition her to her own room, maybe by getting into her bed with her and getting up when she falls asleep.

    i can't really provide a long-term perspective on this since we're still bedsharing with our 21-month-old. but i do think you should continue to room/bedshare if that's what works for you and not worry about what anybody else thinks. :)
  • LBF DPTLBF DPT member
    I bed share with my 22 month old and are planning to switch him to his own room and toddler bed by his birthday. We have a Queen and DH can't fit with me and our squirmy son. We happened to start bedsharing on accident and necessity and now I love it. But DS need more his own space. Bedsharing isn't common in my circles and we got a lot of comments. It worked for us. My family eventually stopped commenting and I didn't share with friends/coworkers. Don't fix what isn't broken!
    Visit The Nest! IAmPregnant Ticker BabyFruit Ticker
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  • I'm in the "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" camp...also in the "if it works for you and your family, do it!" camp. No need to base your sleeping arrangements on any other families'. If you're happy, keep things as they are.

    That said, your 4yo will want her own space at some point, and she'll ask for it. Have you done anything in her room to make it extra special and unique for her (paint, decor, etc.)?
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  • Oh yes, her bedroom is decorated to her taste and she has many of her things in it. Thanks for makin me feel better. Much appreciated.
  • How does your husband feel about it?
  • flclflcl member
    OP: thanks for posting this and everyone else, thanks for your advice. My LO is only 10 weeks and already, friends are commenting that we need to get him out of our room ASAP. We're not ready to do that yet and are not sure if that's what we want to do in the near future. Room sharing is working for us now, we're all happy and I don't plan on making changes until that changes. I just wish I didn't let others' comments bother me.
  • My LO isn't here yet... not until September but I just wanted to say do what is best for your family. what's best for you and your child.
    Just because other people think differently does not mean that you are doing anything wrong.
    Its your child, you would know best!
  • I'm sure she'll move out eventually. DS1 stayed in our room until about 2.5, and even tho DS2 happily goes to sleep in his room, he ends up in our bed every night lately. Whatever works!
    DS1 - Feb 2008

    DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)

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