Horrific thoughts/dreams

lewispm

The past 2-3 weeks, I have been having horrific thoughts and dreams. The thoughts usually happen when I am in bed at night and are probably caused by stressing about what new horrific thing I will dream about. Most have something to do with horrible (I'm talking, don't even want to say it on her) HORRIBLE, sick, twisted things happening to Kellen or MH. I wasn't sure my mind was even capable of coming up with some of these things, but it has been and I have no idea why.

It's gotten to the point where I fear falling asleep because the nightmares are so disturbing. Any idea what could be causing this? I also notice I have some fleeting thoughts during the day as well. Like I think of some horrible thing that could be happening right.this.second to K at daycare and then I tell myself I'm being a freak and shake it off.

I have never had these kinds of thoughts/nightmares until recently. At first I thought maybe I was pregnant or something but that's not it (AF came). What gives? Any ideas? Advice? Similar experiences?? Thanks!

nesenotes

Maybe you should talk to your PCP. I notice you tend to be on the anxious side in general (from what I can gather in writing only in the past 2 years since I don't "know" you). But it also seems like you go through it in waves. That or you just post them in waves.

I think it's ok and normal to have crazy thoughts about disasters. I went through that weird period about burglary. But it was a phase. I don't know if it's hormones or what. I try not to indulge in the thoughts because I don't want it to effect my sleep. But maybe you should bring it up with your dr because it's effecting your day and sleep.

lewispm

nesenotes said:

Maybe you should talk to your PCP. I notice you tend to be on the anxious side in general (from what I can gather in writing only in the past 2 years since I don't "know" you). But it also seems like you go through it in waves. That or you just post them in waves. I think it's ok and normal to have crazy thoughts about disasters. I went through that weird period about burglary. But it was a phase. I don't know if it's hormones or what. I try not to indulge in the thoughts because I don't want it to effect my sleep. But maybe you should bring it up with your dr because it's effecting your day and sleep.

The crazy thing is, most of my IRL friends would describe me as one of the least anxious people they know. Its ever since K was born that I have started with all the anxiety! Most of my friends and family would still say I am one of the least anxious people, but I think I fill you guys in on a lot more than I do them.

It's been so sudden that its making me think hormones would be the cause, but there is nothing that would explain a sudden hormonal change right now. When I really think about it, It all started with the tornados around here recently. Since I am usually really blasé and never stressed/prepared for things like tornados and actually found them kind of exciting, it was a totally new experience for me to have to think about K and plan for his safety. I think it was like a big wake up for me that I truly am responsible for his safety and of course my mind went to all the horrible things that could happen if I let myself fall asleep during the tornado watch and one hit us with K upstairs. Ever since then its like I opened Pandora's box!

I think you're right about talking to my Dr. I never go to the Dr and don't have any kind of relationship with one right now, but maybe it could help a little.

nesenotes

Yeah, I think part of that is becoming a parent too. I used to think earthquakes were fun shakes. Now I am paranoid about them. Kids change you! It's exactly what you said, we are responsible for their safety. I can't watch dateline or to catch a predator or read news stories about girls being kidnapped sold into sex slavery or other stuff. It's too close to home now. But again, it's part of being a parent I think. So in my book all of that is normal. I just try not to run with the ideas because there are millions of them to worry about. We can only do our best to keep them safe!

pinkangelmoon

Have you talked to your H about the dreams? Sometimes it helps me to talk to MH about the things I worry about, and usually they seem silly once I say them aloud. 

Also, do you watch TV right before bed? If so maybe you could try doing something else to wind down and clear your mind.

lewispm

briderx said:

I have thoughts like that sometimes. It was starting to feel like I was some sick, twisted person so I tried googling to see what dr. google thought it could be and what I found was that it was anxiety related. I also noticed that the more I worried about what kind of person I was to have those thoughts the more bad thoughts I had. Once I realized it was a form of anxiety and I was normal I  could more easily brush off the thoughts. 

Thanks for this advice. I told MH one of my more disturbing dreams and he acted like I was sick and twisted, which made me feel like maybe I was. He's not very sympathetic when it comes to "mental" issues. His advice was "well, stop thinking like that then!". LOL. I didn't have any nightmares last night though and slept pretty well, so I think talking about it on here and hearing some similar situations eased my mind. Thanks ladies!