Venting...please no judgement

laurenrae

So I know that this might come off as crazy but since no friends or family know about our pregnancy you ladies are all I have. My husband and I just found out a week ago that we are having a baby after two miscarriages...we are so excited but I have had horrible morning sickness and can't do much outside of the house. Tonight is the second night in the last week that my husband has been out late with friends. Usually that doesn't bother me but now that I can't drink and can't go out without feeling like I'm going to get sick and none of my friends know, i feel really angry with him. So I feel pissed, feelings are hurt that he's not more sensitive and isolated. I'm mostly pissed that he doesn't have to change anything about his life while everything in my life is changing. Please no harsh words. I know some will view this as crazy but it's how I'm feeling.

kibylou

Have you told him how you feel? Hopefully he will be more supportive once he understands your feelings. That would be hard.

BookitBoo

I agree with kibylou. Let him know that it feels like he's not being sensitive towards your needs, and outline clearly what those needs are.

There's a saying that a woman becomes a mom as soon as she's pregnant, but a man only becomes a dad as soon as his baby is born. It may not as 'real' to some men because they don't have to make any life changes yet. But I'm sure he'll be more sensitive once you communicate your feelings and needs to him.

Good luck!

jess123456

So sorry. I would also communicate to him how you feel. Men and women are programmed so differently so if your husband is anything like mine I need to be really direct with him and tell him how I feel because he's not in-tuned with my emotions the same way that my girl friends are to me. My husband also doesn't understand pregnancy hormones. I can't see your ticker because I'm Mobile but hopefully your sickness will fade a bit as you move forward in the pregnancy and your energy will come back too.

rmpar29

I agree with PPs that you need to talk to him and let him know how you are feeling.  It's frustrating for me sometimes too that my life is changing so much right now, but DH just carries on as if nothing's different.  Just don't keep these feelings inside and let this cause a rift in your relationship.  

Good luck and many ((((((HUGS))))))

2redtulips

I understand. It's hard to be the one who has to do all the giving up while our partners can still carry on with normal life. 

I asked my DH to have several wine/beer-free nights with me a week, and that has helped. Knowing that he was willing to go alcohol-free with me at least part time was nice. 

We also have a tradition of going out for sushi on Christmas Eve, but obviously I couldn't eat our regular raw tuna this year. So, I asked him to split something cooked with me instead, and he was happy to do so. 

Little gestures like that make a difference. I would be honest with your DH about how you're feeling and what you need. 

laurenrae

Thank you ladies for listening and giving me words of encouragement.