FET Plan...sound right?

BeckyP005

So my coordinator had the Dr. review my chart and told him this is our last transfer (probably) and what can we do differently. He recommends that we transfer 2 embryos and do assisted hatching. Additional costs of course. If we decide this is our last transfer he wants me to do another mock cycle with endometrial biopsy. It's possible that we do this and find out I'm fine but at least we know. They normally don't do this until you have had 3 failed transfers. Not sure how other clinics work. First thought? I'm a big baby and don't want to do the biopsy and actually cried almost the whole way home from work in 1 1/2 traffic. I am a big wimp and now lets add more costs to all of this. I accepted DE right off the bat...not even trying with my OE's. I cried over knowing I needed to do shots and this and never cried for using DE. I'm wacked.  This...all of this now makes me mad. I have been pretty good lately but now I hate the world again. Sorry for my temper tantrum I can never be as strong and go what some of you go through. I suck.

daydreamer34254

You are totally entitled to your temper tantrum - let it all out! This SUCKS!! I think it's great that your doctor is willing to pull out all the stops for your final transfer. It is overwhelming to think of all the extra steps and cost, but the way I think of it, at the end of the day I want to have no regrets. If it doesn't work, I want to know that we tried everything possible. And if it does work, I'm sure it'll all be worth it. I have never had an endo biopsy done before, though I've heard they are pretty intense but quick. 

chicagobride_07

Hang in there Becky, I know it is hard. I am so happy that you are moving forward with an FET. We've always transferred two and did AH. I think it's only a slightly nominal fee ( in the grand scheme of things) for AH. All REs are different. Mine did not recommend an endometrial biopsy after my failed DE cycle, but did do a bunch of immune testing. Have you considered that? Also, I went for a second opinion with another RE as well. In my case, he thought everything was done correctly but was concerned that my transfer was so difficult and painful. He recommended that I be put out for my next try. I know this isn't common but apparently I have some twists that make the transfer difficult. Maybe another opinion for someone else to look at all aspects of your cycle and make suggestions could help? BEst of luck to you. I think a mock cycle is a good idea as well.

Jessarab

While I am only on my first FET, my lining isn't quite as thick as my RE wants it to be - as sch, she recommended a biopsy (has been shown to increase lining and success rates). I had the procedure down last Friday - I won't kid you, it's uncomfortable, but not unbearable. I took 800mg of ibuprofen prior to the procedure per the doctor's orders. All in all, it took less than 10 minutes from walking in to walking out - I did bleed for about 48 hours however it was very light. I should get my results tomorrow or Thursday.

A second opinion is definitely a good option as well. You have to be comfortable with the plan of attack Good luck!

BeckyP005

No 2nd opinion here. Left a local clinic to go to this local clinic because they have a shared program. I've had a mock before and my lining has always been good.

@chicagobride_07‌ the biopsy is to confirm that the estrogen and progesterone on my uterine mining is sufficient to expect that implantation can occur. Is that what its used for @Jessarab‌? Ugh I'm clueless. My e2 was low from the beginning.

No to immune testing. I know others have gone above and beyond and spent a good amount of $ to try/have their baby. Sadly that is not us. This is our stopping point. I would do AH but hate the thought of biopsy. Not sure what is wrong with me. Just freaking out I guess.

Well I guess if we are not going to go with what is recommended or just do AH then it's no ones fault but ours in the end. They said it's up too us. Thanks ladies. I'm pathetic lol Maybe this journey is not for me.

BeckyP005

I guess just ignore my post. Someone just reminded me that we never signed up for any testing which is very true. Our plan was simple. It was let's just give it a shot. So why I'm asking when I know in my heart that we will probably just do the FET as is..is beyond me. It's hard when two pp are not on the same page. Think I'm just all confused Thanks again.

Oh now I'm wondering about my grammer with all those grammer pet peeves discussion we just had!!

MrsT4

Becky, I'm sending huge (((HUGS))) your way!!! It's certainly very stressful and confusing, especially when you feel you're giving it your "last shot"....and I think it is totally normal to want to re-evaluate your plan.

As others have said, you want to make sure you have no regrets. While I'm tempted to tell you to pull out all the stops for this final transfer, you (and DH) have to feel comfortable with the plan.

FWIW, I've done the endo biopsy several times, but ironically not before this last (successful) cycle. The actual procedure didn't bother me, but if it's causing you this much stress, I would say to go with your gut and not do it. However, in my own humble opinion, I think it would be best to transfer two this time and to go for the added cost of AH. Again, only you and DH can decide whether you are OK with transferring two. I just know that I've always transferred two and never had more than one stick....but everyone is different...and we've seen other AMA ladies wind up with twins, so it's hard to say what is the best choice.

Finally, I just wanted to ask for clarification....when you said you didn't sign up for any testing, what were you referring to? I thought you had at least done the required testing for an IVF cycle (saline sono, HSG, etc.)? Forgive me for asking, but I just wanted to make sure I understand that your tubes, uterus are OK and that you're not missing these kinds of tests.

(((HUGS))) again as you decide on how to proceed with the FET. I hope you and DH can get on the same page.

BeckyP005

@MrsT4‌ thanks. Yes I guess that sounded confusing. I just meant MH didn't want to get into anything crazy like genetic testing or other kinds of testing not the norm for just a simple transfer which if he read the boards he would know that nothing is ever "simple". It's not worth fighting over. I'm thankful I was given a chance to at least try. Will just hope for the best

Hope all is well with you!!

e74

Becky, big hugs! We were recommended to do an endometrial biopsy but the drs didn't all agree and we did a saline sono instead... And they had us do one of these after almost every failed cycle ( I grow polyps very easily). We did do AH and transferred two embryos every time but one. I understand the pain part... I am a big baby and hate shots... I could never give myself the progesterone in oil shots and actually had to switch to progesterone in ethyl oelate because of the pain... Good luck!!! I truly hope this is your take home baby!

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stinkerbell6879

Awww big squishy ((((HUGS))))). I get where you are coming from, we did only basic test (HSG, SA, etc) to save cost, and we never had anything come across saying we SHOULD do more test. So it is a shocker to try and add in the extra cost and makes these decisions even harder.

So I say take a deep breath and if you feel comfortable with just going for it one last try, then I say go for it and I will send you all the sticky vibes possible.

ETA: Also, my RE has me take progesterone vaginally, so no shots, could you ask your RE about that? From what I found there was no difference in out comes one way or the other.

BeckyP005

@stinkerbell6879‌ yes thanks for "getting" it. Actually I'm ok on PIO shots!! Not as bad as I made them out to be Oh and my levels are low on estrogen vaginally so shots are prob better for me!

Km672

Oh Becky, I'm sorry you're so overwhelmed right now.

Your RE only wants what is best for you and wants to do whatever will give you your best chance of getting pregnant.

I apologize in advance if you've already answered this, but why have you decided this will be your final transfer? It just seems like you have waited so very long and my experience has been that FETs are so much easier than fresh cycles. (Timing and scheduling wise, no synchronizing with the donor, no waiting for donor testing, less medications and less appointments and less stress because you know ahead of time the quality and quantity of the embryos. (although I know there is the possibility of thawing issues))

Assuming you and your husband are firm on this being your last transfer, are you comfortable with transferring 2?

Yes, the testing your RE is recommending is usually only done after multiple failures, but I think he is just trying to give you all your options so you can make a fully informed decision.

After this most recent failed cycle, my RE recommended another sonohystogram and biopsy. I just had both of these done in October. I've had at least 6 different sonohystograms and 1 hysteroscopy. I flat out refused. I feel that because all of them have always been normal, it is a waste of time.

My RE was totally fine with it and just explained that this was really all he could offer to me at this point. I've had the RPL panel and every other test he can offer to me. He explained he can't alter the embryos, they are what they are and just wanted to give me the option.

My point is, if you don't want to do it you absolutely don't have to. Honestly, if I had only had 1 failed transfer of 1 day 3 embryo, I wouldn't do it.

I've had 2 biopsies done, 1 was awful and my last one was not bad at all! Ask your RE if he can have you cough really hard during the actual biopsy, this has really helped me with the pain. I just did this when I had lidocaine injected into my cervix for my stitch on Monday and it makes a HUGE difference. Also, I had 10mg of Valium.

I hope this is helpful. Sorry for the novel. I just wanted to offer you 1 more piece of advice, I hope you don't mind.

Even if you are 100% sure this is your last transfer, I wouldn't discard your remaining embryos yet. If you do get pregnant and god forbid, I hate to even type this, but miscarry, you might be kicking yourself and want to try again.

And if again, god forbid, you aren't successful with this transfer, I can tell you from personal experience it will hit you hard. It will literally feel like your world has fallen apart. You might want nothing more than to try 1 last time and regret discarding your remaining frosties.

I know this process is expensive and scary, I just don't want you to limit your options while you're in the middle of this awful process. You have a really good chance at your take home baby with the frosties you have.

Best of luck, no matter what you decide.

>:D< >:D< >:D< >:D<

BeckyP005

@Km672‌ thank you for your response. You are so sweet and I'm praying really hard that this next cycle will be your take home baby! Ouch on the stitch...sounds awful.

I will not discard remaining 2 frosties. Like you said you just never know what can happen or if we change our mind months down the road but with my age I'm not sure.

MH is just comfortable transferring one. I asked coordinator how effective AH is and she said they really are not sure if it helps for donor eggs but they are just offering us best options. I'm not doing biopsy.

Why last try? Honestly I think we are just lost on this process. MH did say we would try one last time before he knew my boss was helping us with some costs for FET. I think he is scared and wants me to know there has to be a stopping point. Even though it's just another small chunk of change for a 2nd FET he is just not comfortable in spending more $ for maybe a baby. I havent had a raise in 6 years. He barely gets them. It's just what we feel comfortable in doing. Can he change his mind? Of course. I don't think we know WHAT were doing. When talking to the coordinator it was her idea to tell Dr this was "probably" our last try just by seeing how upset I was.

You all probably think we are psychotic!

stinkerbell6879

Becky all I can say is a big FU to IF. When my DH I started we talked about one try and done and well, as you know that did not happen. BUT. We did have a serious talk about our next try being the last try once and for all, which is scary to think about but we all have our limits, emotionally and financially.

Again (((HUGS))) and honestly this stuff  does/can drive you to the loony bin with all the different emotions that we go through, so your not alone ;-)

Jessarab

@BeckyP005 - my RE advised that the endo scrape/biopsy could assist in growing the lining but has also shown an increase in success rates for implantation - at just a few hundred bucks for us, we felt it was the way to go.

You really made me think about the when is enough, enough. Limits isn't something we have really discussed but I can see the importance of it now - so thank you

As long as you do what is best for you & hubby, no one can ask more than that! 

katie_71208

Becky I'm sorry you have to go through this. I did do the biopsy on my first try at a transfer because I wanted to do anything possible to help. I don't know if it actually helped or not. I'm not going to lie it wasn't pain free but it was quick and I was fine afterwards. Good luck on your decision, I'llbe praying for you!

lincoln79

Coming late to the party, but Squirt (now 15w!) was transferred  as a 5AA blast after AH post thaw.

I think that freezing can harden the exterior, so I say give AH a try! FWIW, the AH was $200 and our RE discounted it off of our bill.

JM1977

Just want to offer hugs as you and your DH navigate this process. I think you will know in your hearts what the best path is for you. Listen to your instincts! I think your range of emotions is totally normal. I wish you a very smooth and successful FET! (((HUGS)))

sarahjeri

@BeckyP005 I think making a decision to be done at a certain point is something that helps us get through the current situation. *Of course* we know that we can go forward again if we want, but for me at least it's helped me knowing that *after this try* we are DONE.  A friend of mine doesn't get that and keeps saying to me - "but you can try again if it doesn't work!!"  Well YES we COULD.  But we don't really want to at this point, and both of us, right now, are ok with that decision.  

So basically what I'm saying is I get it.  And I'm sorry you're going through this tough time.