Torn on what to do...

chicagocubsfan23

I've been invited to a shower for a girl I haven't talked to in almost a year. I run a daycare and I'm pretty sure the only reason I know she's pregnant is because she asked me to hold a spot for her baby. I'm going to be out of town the whole day before the shower so don't feel like going out of town again for the shower. Plus, it's a potluck and I don't know when I'd have time to make something, not to mention I'm not thrilled about being asked to provide food for a shower I'm not throwing. I was going to RSVP my regrets but my husband thinks I should go... Any advice?

hellopartyof5

You have to bring food AND a gift?  I mean I know you don't have to... but ugh.  I wouldn't go, especially if you aren't close.  If your husband feels that strongly about it, I would send a gift.

Disneygeek77

I wouldn't go.  

EastCoastBride

Why does your DH care?

Say "no" and send a card if that will make you feel better. 

Helenahhandbasket

Don't go?

PrimRoseMama

I would decline & send a card.

74dragonfly

somerandomchick said:

You don't need excuses to not go, and you don't need to justify it to YH.

If you think you'll be too tired from your plans the day before, don't go.

If you're expected to bring food but don't want to/can't, don't go.

If you don't know this person that well and feel it isn't worth the effort, don't go.

If you just can't be arsed cause it doesn't sound fun.... Don't go.

An invitation is NOT a summons. It does not convey obligations on you, besides the obligation to RSVP in a timely manner. You're not required to go even if you 'can'. You're not required to send a gift if you don't go.

The ONLY thing required of you is to RSVP accurately in a timely manner.

What she said

ccam

I would decline and send a card. 

MMason12

Who the heck would think a pot luck is a good idea for a shower?  Come bring the Mom a gift and bring your own food?!?  Tacky to the 100000 degree.

I would 100000% decline. 

BC&LM

I wouldn't go. Potluck showers are so tacky to begin with, and you aren't even close to her. I might send a very small gift (a book or two), but even that is unnecessary.

BC&LM

MMason12 said:

Who the heck would think a pot luck is a good idea for a shower?  Come bring the Mom a gift and bring your own food?!?  Tacky to the 100000 degree.

I would 100000% decline. 

I agree that they are very very tacky, but there are unfortunately people who do it. I was invited to one last year that you ladies would have had a field day with--second shower, pot luck, address your own thank yous, etc. I had to go, though; it was on my husband's side of the family.

RibbitGrl930

Pot luck for a gift-giving event? No. No no no. Decline the tack-fest and be done with it.

kimberlymautz

Honestly, I wouldn't go.
In my opinion, if you had ASKED if you could bring a dish and she accepted than that's perfectly acceptable (I know I told multiple people to check with my mom because I knew she'd probably need help with the planning!) but I can't fathom the fact that she's (basically) requiring you to bring something for everyone else to eat and also get her a gift.