Hi ladies. I am 13 weeks and 3 days right now. Everything is healthy so far with the pregnancy! I am excited about it and excited to be a mommy. It's my first baby and first pregnancy.
My now ex-boyfriend and I had only been dating about 2 months when I found out I was pregnant. He immediately accused me of lying, saying I "knew" I was pregnant (I took a test two weeks prior and it was negative, which I told him.. but he says it must have been positive and I "lied").. I definitely did not, I had been on a juice cleanse (about 1100 calories a day, but still) and also working out a lot.. definitely had no idea I was pregnant. Anyway, we found out on 3/11 and he broke up with me by the end of the week. He took his "space" for a few days, I tried to give it to him but kept texting him how mad I was at his reaction.
Prior to this happening (literally up until the day before he found out), he was telling me he loved me, wanted to spend his life with me, wanted to settle down and have a family with me, etc. He has a 3 1/2 year old son with another woman he was previously engaged to and dated for 5 years total, and she was also on the pill like I was when she became pregnant (so it's not like he didnt know this was a possibility - he has sperm of steel or something). He was telling me what a great momma I would be, and how we would have beautiful babies, and we even talked about kid names. We were planning to move in together some time this spring or summer! Now, he is just done, and says he wants "to be alone for a long time"... but claims he will be here for me during my pregnancy and for the baby when he or she arrives. SO FAR... he hasn't done jack shit. He has seen me 5 times total since becoming pregnant. He lives 5 miles away. He hides me from friends and family now, and has shit talked me to mutual friends (he's not very smart). He fights with me any chance he can get, and has threatened that if I ever have the baby around my (other) ex boyfriend, he will fight for custody (he just doesn't like him. It's RIDICULOUS).
On Easter Sunday, his ex-fiance and first child's mom called me from HIS phone to tell me my baby was ruining her relationship with him, and blah blah blah she won't let me and my baby come between them and ruin all she has fought for. She said the night before, he had told her she was the only woman he wants to spend his life with. HE didn't stand up for me, let her keep talking, and just told me all she said was a lie when he finally did call me. I personally think HE is lying, and I believe HER over him right now. I don't know. It's so ridiculous and not what I need surrounding my pregnancy.
He has tried to sleep with me 4 times (I gave in twice, but won't ever again)... he says he loves me and the little one, he says he wants to be close with me, he wants to love me again and whatever... but I think actions speak louder than words, and he hasn't done much of anything. He makes it clear also he doesn't want a relationship with me, contrary to everything else he says.
Of note, his ex mentioned he is a pathological liar (which I am starting to believe), and she mentioned his drinking problem, which I've now seen in full ugly force. He passed out asleep wasted beyond belief with his 3 year old son on the other end of the couch one time when we were dating, and I didn't have the reaction to it that I would now that I'm a mom to be.... but even when I did see it, I stayed overnight to make sure that kid was okay because I knew he was being irresponsible. Now I'm finding out this wasn't a one time incident, and apparently he used to do this to his ex all the time when she would be working and he was home "watching" their son. He'd be passed out and she would have to send friends and family to check on her son. Why she wants to be with him after all of that, I have NO clue... anyway...
My heart is breaking because I wanted him by my side through it all, and I thought we would have a family... and now, it looks like he is going to have two children with two different women and not end up with either of them, or possibly back with her. Her hopes are that he cleans himself up and goes back to her. I am so hurt and I just feel lost. I have amazing family and friends, who are all very supportive... but what do I do? Give him his space and hope he comes around? Forget about him, go dark, not invite him to any appointments anymore?
He is going to try to get some custody I know... and I guess my child deserves a father figure - but he is an alcoholic (and dabbles in some illegal stuff from what I have recently found out and he even admitted). I feel so lost. . .