Single Parents

What If...

Let's play the What If game...

What if you had your baby with your ex PRIOR to this father? How do you think things would be different?

Ummm my ex before ManChild was the closet drug dealer addict so that would have obviously been no good. I would have however, gotten a massive payday since he was $$$$$$$$$$$$$$ and had like 3 different trusts. I know I'd be getting child support, I know his mom would probably be practically living with us bc she'd be so excited (she's best friends with my mom now and helped throw my shower and saw her when we were in FL), & who knows what he would do. I'm sure his mom and dad would probably push him to be around, but I'm not 100% convinced he would be. He had his head so far up his ass. I hated his brother and his brother hated me so we'd probably have some SERIOUS family drama, to the point his bro would probably be parading hoes in front of him to entice him away from me. I don't think he'd be willing to give up his playboy, do what I want, Joe Cool life. We discussed WHAT IF and he swore up and down he'd take our kid if I decided I didn't want one instead of me having an abortion but I to this day, never ever picture him having children. EVER

In a nutshell, it would have been another nightmare all but financially. I'd be in a miserable relationship with a cheater and a drug dealer or single and forced to live in Florida and miserable.

PCOS // Loss 3/2010 // Single Mom // Natural Birth // DC Metro // Baby Girl Born 2/2/2014

Re: What If...

  • Id still be a single parent. Xh was an abusive alcoholic. His family was aweful. So for as shitty as bd is, at least i have sm to comiserate with
  • eg214eg214 member
    Pretty fascinating how different things would be huh?

    CONFESSION: I was considering an abortion with E. Very early on, when M & I broke up. I didn't know how I would do it financially and with all my help 1,000 miles away. I am super conservative/Christian but it's the one thing I am "weird" choice. Whatever. Until you're in that situation, you can't know what it's like. BC infertility, my whole sex life consisted of fearing I was pregnant (periods few and far between), so I always had to consider that.

    PCOS // Loss 3/2010 // Single Mom // Natural Birth // DC Metro // Baby Girl Born 2/2/2014
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  • If I'd have had a child with the ex prior to XH...IDK what I'd have done. This was 15 years ago and neither of us would have been in a good place to be a parent...ESPECIALLY him. So I can say with almost 100% certainty I'd have still wound up a single parent. But I still thank goodness I didn't wind up procreating with him. He was not a good b/f and things ended badly between us.
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  • tig594tig594 member
    Hrm.  Who was I dating before BD.  I think it was the guy who was a seriously bipolar weed smoking drunk.  Yup, still a single parent and the kid would have no contact with it's dad because dude hated kids. 

    Going back one more, daddy would have been an ex who is English and lives across the pond.  Wonder how that would have turned out....
  • @tig594 sounds like my BD. UGH.

    My ex-ex was a musician who actually did very well for where he lives and what he does... not the starving artist type. Financially LO and I would have been ok. BUT he was abusive, emotionally, mentally, physically so... I would have had total custody of LO and would still be a single momma. 

    The ex-ex-ex was an anesthesiologist. THAT would have been the most stable, he was respectful and a good person... but he moved away and we were just at two very different places in life at the time.  
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  • I can't think of one ex that I would ever consider children with. My previous ex was someone similar-ish to BD (which is probably why I was attracted to BD). DJ, blonde hair, awkward sense of humor... Only, he didn't sell drugs, cheat, or think he needed alcohol to get him through the day. I imagine if he and I were together and I got pregnant, I would still be a single parent. Only, I truly believe that he would've been around for her. I just don't think we would've worked out since we didn't work out. A baby would've complicated things more.
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  • I have two exes id have a baby with. My bf(cause he used to be an ex) and my gay ex. Because wed make beaitiful children and hed be a great dad
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