TTC naturally and then what?

MelissaMiso

Right now we are trying to conceive naturally and are three months in (or four?) without BFP. Yesterday, husband and I briefly discussed that if we don't conceive naturally, we will likely not proceed with any other assistance. Of course, after a few more months of trying I might think otherwise but right now I'm at ease with this decision. Anyone else only trying natural? If you have moved on to (or planning on moving on to) additional fertility assistance, at what point did you decide what you would do?

meredithcarole

Have you used an OPK or temped?

lcwed

*******Child Mentioned**************

I was thinking the same thing.  We are 2 cycles away, including this one from hitting 6 months and wondering what next.  We have a super high deductible we are no where near reaching so a good chunk would be out of pocket.  I guess we just wait and see what happens.  I think some of it is because this is not our first and so we would be okay with just DD and I figure it would just be diagnosed as unexplained infertility do to AMA.  Also, I am on the low end of AMA.  We have always been open to the idea of adoption as well.

bumpuser10258960

If you have not done any charting or temping, I'd start doing that. Our ovulation window is so narrow that natural attempting with no form of charting is like "luck of the draw". If you have been doing this and it's not working, I'd then try an Ovulation Prediction Kit. Not only will it further help you pinpoint when you O, but if something is wrong and you don't, then you'll know that something may be wrong and you need to have it looked at.

DH and I have had a similar discussion and we are likely not to try "assistance" if things don't work out naturally for us, but there are also different levels of assistance. If you're not releasing eggs and medication can help you get on track with that, that is non-evasive assistance. If your tubes are blocked, there are procedures to help with that. I'm guessing he's probably not (at this time) willing to undergo the more complicated methods of assistance, like IVF. But there are certainly other options for you to consider for help.

Davie813

This is my last cycle before my OB visit and RE referral.  We're going to try whatever our insurance covers, then stop.  I'd really like DD to have a sibling, but we'll be OK if she's our only child.

ETA we have pretty good insurance.  Otherwise, I think I would have wanted to try an IUI or two, but neither of us would have been willing to cover IVF out-of-pocket.

kelley72

Best wishes for you!  I am trying naturally and always have besides tracking cm, cp, temp.  I have children so I cannot answer to what I would have done had that not been the case but at my age, financial situation, children we do have, no insurance coverage for infertility I wouldn't do anything.

I would suggest charting starting today your cm, cp, temp...

massiahl

*** Miscarriage and pregnancy success mentioned ***

How long it takes you to get fertility assistance will depend on your age and how long you've been consistently trying.  If you're in your 20-mid thirties, 6 months to a year of consistently trying is reasonable.  If you're older than that, 6 months of consistently trying without success may be an indication that you should seek counsel.  I would tell you to do your due diligence first.  Get your body in the best shape possible by eating right, exercising, taking your prenatal vitamins and supplements and track your ovulation cycle.  You need to feel like you've given it your best shot before you can determine whether you need assistance.  In the event that you decide to seek fertility assistance, you will need all of this information anyway.

In my case, after my miscarriage and given my age, my OB suggested that I seek out assistance the moment that I told her that I wanted to try again.  I wasn't ready to hear it since I had managed to get pregnant without assistance.  After 6 months of trying and monitoring my ovulation cycles - including buying the very expensive Clearblue monitor - I was beside myself and begged the Universe to tell me what to do.  

Coincidently, I was placed a search committee to fill a job position at the same time I was going through this.  I had no idea why I was asked to serve but I accepted.  Then the universe gave me my answer.   During the final weeks of conducting interviews, we were reviewing the resume of a very strong candidate.  We were then told by the committee's chairperson that the candidate was in her final month of pregnancy with twins and we were asked to be mindful of this so we wouldn't keep her longer than need be.  As I looked at her resume, I saw that, based on her graduation dates from college and grad school and her work experience, she had to be at least two years older than me.  When she walked in the door, I knew that this was a message for me.  As soon as the interview was over, I called my OB for a referral to a fertility specialist.  Given my circumstances, IVF was the best route for me.  I can happily say that I am now in my third trimester of pregnancy.  

Do your work first.  Your footwork will help you quiet down any negative thoughts or self-doubt and help you get through.  I hope this helps!

gabbagal

*** previous pregnancies/losses mentioned** 


We're kind of at that crossroads right now. We always had said that if it was meant to be, it would happen and we wouldn't do any sort of intervention. So we started NTNP for a bit and got pregnant when I was 39, but it ended in a miscarriage. My doc didn't seem concerned and said we should keep at it. I got pregnant again a year later and after that ended in a m/c he said we should probably speak to an RE. We decided that even though we said we didn't want intervention that it couldn't hurt to get information b/c as pps said, there could be degrees of "help" and lots of different options depending on your situation. I found the first meeting overwhelming but decided to do the initial diagnostic tests just to get better odds/percentages and overall info. We have not finished the testing and still don't know what we'll do with the info, but I think I'd feel better about any decision having the most info I can get about my personal situation. Right now we're sort of in the mindset of accepting that we probably won't have kids, but we'll see how we feel once we have all the info. Good luck with whatever you decide.

tlc35

We are currently in the trying naturally stage.  If we aren't successful by the end of the year we plan to see a RE.  At this point I would be willing to try anything up to IVF and if that doesn't look like it will work would consider DE.  I'm not sure where H stands as we haven't discussed it yet but he said we will find a way to have kids "by hook or by crook".
Good luck with your decision.

mindaa

I feel like I'm usually in the minority when this topic comes up on TB. I'm going on 2.5 years of TTC, mostly naturally. We've had basic testing done and have been charting & temping w/herbs and acupuncture and I've done two cycles of Clomid. I might do a couple more cycles of Clomid, but that is as far as we're comfortable going. 

Anyway, I'm totally at ease with this decision, even though there are challenges. First, it makes me question how much I want this, if I'm not willing to "do whatever it takes." 

Second, it is hard to know "when to move on," when you haven't tried everything there is to try. I'm hoping my HSG might provide some answers/closures... but if not and I remain in the "unexplained" category, then, well, I don't know. There is no defined moment when you are forced to move on after trying everything possible.

For me, the last couple months, I've hit an emotional low. I'm feeling like I need to move on, to finish the grieving process (of not have bio kids) and start the discussion as to adopt or be CF. DH has been behind me throughout the whole process of TTC, so he still has some hope that this will happen. So at the moment I'm hanging on to his hope (barely) and continuing until either we get KU, or DH is caught up and ready to have "the talk." 

Good luck to you in your decision!

PrivateOne

I'm sorry you are not having success as quickly as you had hoped.  For me personally, we tried naturally at first and never dreamed we'd need any kind of medical assistance.  Who does really? However, when it came to time to really consider it, I had all kinds of thoughts on how far I would take it and what I was willing and not willing to do.  After each failure that bar of "what we won't do" kept moving. I find that a very common occurrence with many couple I've encountered on this journey.  The reason it kept moving for us is because we had one goal in mind and that was to have children. So because of that we moved on to IUIs and then ultimately on to IVF. Next month I'll be doing my 3rd IVF and we are also doing PGD testing as we feel it necessary at this point. Looking back I would have never thought I could or would do these things,but I do not regret any of it.  I'm not sure what we will do if we are not successful soon, however I know that I must be open to all possibilities in order to make my dreams come true.

Best of luck to you on your journey and with your decision making process. 

stellasoo

Like others, what we've been willing to do has changed. I started charting my cycles, which were a mess at first. I worked closely with my doctor and a nutritionist on making major lifestyle changes and my cycles became more normal. Our initial plan was to do it all naturally and not at all consider any sort of treatments. Finally, my doctor said I didn't have time to wait around and I needed to talk to a RE about my short luteal phase. We went to a RE and I started progesterone last fall. We told ourselves that we would stop at progesterone but now we're trying IUI this month. 

I was talking to DH about it and it's like you take little baby steps and then before you know it, you're knee deep in pills/injections and RE appointments. I always felt - and still do to some extent - that I would get pregnant when my body is healthy enough to conceive and carry a baby to term. That feeling has made it really hard for me to come to terms with doing IUI. I do know we won't go past IUI because our insurance doesn't cover IVF and there is no way we can afford to pay out of pocket. I'm not sure how many IUI's we'll try but I'm inclined to try without any help if this doesn't work. 

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Hpearl

You have received a lot of great, thoughtful and heartfelt advice here.   The only thing I can tell you is that everyone's journey is different.    Its all about what is right for you...and feeling your way through it.

I am 35, and will undergo a myoectomy on Wednesday to bring me one step closer to having a baby.    I never thought I would be on this path,  but here I stand,  sure footed and ready.   I always assumed I would have as many babies as I would like... etc etc.  and if that wasn't in the cards  I would adopt.   My dad is adopted so this seemed like a no brainer.   Now we are debating IUI or possibly IVF.  

I feel quite differently now that I am truly struggling to get pregnant.  You may feel differently next week then you do now... so just try to hold on and be honest with yourself and keep the communication open with your husband.

Good luck