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Who is drinking with me tonight....

BeckyP005BeckyP005 member
edited May 2014 in TTC after 35
Bottoms Up by Brantley Gilbert..can't figure out how to post but that will be my drinking song. BFN..kinda figured. THANK YOU for all the positive wishes..hugs..making me laugh and wanting to sacrifice a chicken of all things. Love you gals more than you know. Guess I'll still be hanging out to see if we do a FET. DE coordinator thinks my estrogen had a part. She is going to talk to dr to see if anything different needs to be done if we cycle again. Its funny on how long I waited to do this cycle and...poof...its over in 2 weeks. This all f*cking sucks :(

ME:46 MH:44 DE IVF 2014
Met with RE 4/11. 2 IUI's BFN. DE best option. Switched clinics to do "shared" program. Had to retake all tests and a mamm that put me behind and then on a DE waiting list for 12 months. Picked a donor!! (10/13/13) Got matched. Estimated transfer in December. After 2.5 years of patiently waiting I will finally cycle....can hardly believe it. DE cycle got cancelled. One of her tests came back positive.  Waiting for another donor. Donor picked!! (1/18/14)

DE IVF #1 (4/26) BFN  DE FET #1 (6/4) BFP! Beta 1=339 Beta 2=852 Beta 3=9957 EDD 2/22/15!!


 

 

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Re: Who is drinking with me tonight....

  • Davie813Davie813 member
    I am so sorry (and so pissed off at the universe right now).  Nothing about that is fair or doesn't suck!  I will at least have several virtual drinks for you.  And I will shake my fist angrily at the ceiling a lot, too.

    I don't know if it's the official version of your drinking song, but here.

    I feel confident that DH will come around about the FET, and that they'll get your estrogen where it needs to be to make it work, but I am just so sorry.

    Huge, huge hugs to you.
    *****Signature/Ticker Warning******

    Me: 41, DH: 45
    DD, 6/15/2013
    TTC #2 beginning January 2014
    AMH 1.05; FSH range 7-11

    July 2014: IUI #1.  Follistim + Pregnyl.  2 follicles--BFN
    September 2014: IUI #2.  Follistim + Pregnyl + Ganirelix + Crinone.  4(?) follicles--BFN
    October 2014: IUI #3.  More Follistim + More Ganirelix + Pregnyl + Crinone.  4 follicles--BFP!  Beta #1=10 Beta #2=33 Beta #3=97 Beta #4=158.  M/C 11/1/14
    December 2014: IVF #1.  Microdose Lupron protocol.  9R, 9M, 9F.  3 5-day blasts transferred 12/15. BFFN.
    April 2015: IVF #2.  Microdose Lupron protocol.  16R, 15M, 12F. Transferred 2 5-day blasts 4/12 and froze 4--BFP!  M/C 5/25/15
    August 2015: IVF #3.  14R, 13M, 11F.  Froze 5 blasts for CCS testing.  3 normals.  FET planned for 10/2015.



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  • Lady2010Lady2010 member
    I am SO sorry!  This is completely unfair!  

    It is good that they are looking at what the cause is and may have an idea where to focus for your FET (I too am confident that your DH will come around).  

    In the interim, I hope you and DH can grieve and comfort each other and take the time you need to determine next steps.

    Since I just had my transfer yesterday, no wine for me sadly, but I will be thinking of you.

    Sending you BIG {{{HUGS}}}
    ***signature/ticker warning***
    Me:37 DH:39
    TTC#1 since 3/2012

    Diagnosis : Unexplained Infertility

    3 BFN rounds Clomid + IUI
    IVF 1 - BFN, 1 Frozen
    IVF 2 - BFN, 5 Frozen
    FET 1 - BFP!!! EDD 1/24/15 Beta 1: 700, Beta 2: 2,156; 1st U/S 6w3d: HB 118bpm, 2nd U/S 9w3d: HB 171bpm

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  • URMySunshine77URMySunshine77 member
    Becky, I'm so sorry that this time wasn't successful. I'll drink a glass of wine with you in spirit tonight. I also hope that you and your DH can come to a decision when the time is right. 

    So wish that I could give you a hug. Much love to you.

    image

                 Visit The Nest!image Visit The Nest!

      "It is better to light a candle than curse the darkness." - Eleanor Roosevelt


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  • PrivateOnePrivateOne member
    I am so angry at the world for you right now.  I thought for sure you'd be all set with your DE and we'd all be cheering your BFP today.  there are no words or enough drinks in the world for me to express how sad I am for you.  However, the glimmer of hope is that you do have frosties.  We will all come to your house and beat the crap our of YH if he does not want to go for a FET.  After all that you've been through on this journey it would be utterly insane to not go for it. 

    Sending you all the comfort I can via the internets today and always and I hope that you can find some peace when the time is right. 


    **** siggy warning - bfp & loss ****   ---- All Welcome ---

    Me: 44 - Hashimoto's (under control), DH: 38 - (minor issues)

    IUIs: 2 in 2012 ... Both BFN
    IVF #1: 10/16/13 ... BFP, however it was not viable and ended in an early loss at 7weeks.
    IVF #2: Feb '14 ... Cancelled. Positive beta at baseline appt, became very early loss.
    IVF #2: Apr '    14 ... Retrieval Only. 2 embryos made it to day 3 freeze & will be batched with IVF #3 for PGD testing.
    IVF #3: June '14     ...     Retrieval Only. 4 embryos growing, all arrested before day 5. Two from April thawed, but also arrested.
    Currently benched while determining how to proceed.

    "Keep going until you can't fail"

     

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  • tlc35tlc35 member
    I'm so sorry.  I will have a drink for/with you in spirit tonight.  This sucks.
    Me: 37                                               
    DH: 45
    BFP #1 3/19/14  EDD 11/29/14 MMC D&C 4/24/14
    BFP #2  12/4/14 Beta #1 218 at 12dpo Beta #2 1055 at 16dpo
    Saw heartbeat 12/29.  Please be a rainbow.
    imagerainbows
              
    All welcome                                   
                              
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  • SophistikittySophistikitty member
    I am so sorry :(  Huge hugs. 


    ***SIGNATURE WARNING***


    TTC #1

    Me 42, DH 47

    Dx = AMA/DOR, MFI

    IVF/ICSI #1 = BFN

    IVF/ICSI #2 = BFP; early loss

    IVF/ICSI #3 (DE) = BFP; early loss

    FET = BFN

    IVF/ICSI #4 (DE w/ CCS) = BFP

    Beta #1 @ 10dp6dt = 265; Beta #2 @ 14dp6dt = 1251. 

    1st U/S @ 6w2d showed one perfect little heartbeat! 

    2nd U/S @ 7w2d. HB 132 & everything measuring on track.

    Our beautiful little girl arrived January 2015!


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  • Lesliem0901Lesliem0901 member
    I'm so, so sorry...I wish I knew why life has to be so cruel at times. My T&Ps are with you. Sending big ((hugs)) your way.
    Siggy Warning


    TTC#1 since June 2012

    Dx: Unexplained Infertility / AMA

    BFP after 4th IUI cycle with Gonal F + Ovidrel on March 2014 | EDD 12/7/14 | MMC on 4/14/14 

    IUI#5 with Gonal F and Ovidrel trigger on 6/6 - BFN

    On to IVF #1 with a new RE. Started Gonal F and Menopur on 8/15.  Added Ganirelix on 8/24. Trigger on 8/26 for ER on 8/28. 8R 7M 3F.  Transferred all 3 on 8/31. BFP on 9/11 | EDD 5/20/15 - Beta #1: 56.7. Beta #2: 97. Beta #3: 1148. Beta #4: 3559. Beta #4: 7678. MMC confirmed on 10/13. D&C on 10/14 at 9w. Confirmed male with Trisomy 14.

    On to IVF #2 in March. CCS Testing on 2 embies. No go. Waiting to start IVF #3 in July. Surprise BFP on 6/14! EDD - 2/20/16 - Beta #1: 121.4. Beta #2: 236.4. Beta #3: 2014.

    December 4image

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  • kris-dankris-dan member
    edited May 2014
    I am so Sorry!!!  I will be having an extra glass of wine for you tonight.

    I hoping that your DH will come around about the FET.  I will be keeping you in my thoughts. 

    HUGS HUGS!!!
    Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers

    Me:  37   DH:  39   DS:  4
    TTC #2 - Experienced Miscarraige on 3/5/13, DnC on 3/11/13

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  • ProcessofBecomingProcessofBecoming member
    (siggy)




    I'm so incredibly sorry to hear this news, and can't imagine your disappointment and sadness. You're always so supportive and positive to all of the ladies on this board, and I hope that you're able to try again with the FET (I think--and hope--your husband will come around to the idea too). Sending all of my thoughts and prayers, and large bottles of virtual chardonnay your way. I'm so very sorry again.

    Me: 42, DH: 40; Surprise BFP 4/27/2011; no heartbeat at 9w3d, we miss you, Baby Manatee; D&C 6/1/2011; AF returned 6/26/2011; Ready to try for our take-home baby. 7/24/2011--BFP! Peanut born March 2012; BFP: 7/31/2013!; blighted ovum at 7 weeks 8/26/2013. Holy Cannoli! BFP 2/23/2014. EDD 11/6/2014!  

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  • BeckyP005BeckyP005 member
    Thanks. I have to spend the night at the house I work at until tomorrow afternoon but MH is meeting me for dinner. My stomach feels so sick right now that I'm not even sure I will be able to have a drink. I can't even begin to comprehend on how some of you have had to go through this heartache multiple times {{HUGS}}

    ME:46 MH:44 DE IVF 2014
    Met with RE 4/11. 2 IUI's BFN. DE best option. Switched clinics to do "shared" program. Had to retake all tests and a mamm that put me behind and then on a DE waiting list for 12 months. Picked a donor!! (10/13/13) Got matched. Estimated transfer in December. After 2.5 years of patiently waiting I will finally cycle....can hardly believe it. DE cycle got cancelled. One of her tests came back positive.  Waiting for another donor. Donor picked!! (1/18/14)

    DE IVF #1 (4/26) BFN  DE FET #1 (6/4) BFP! Beta 1=339 Beta 2=852 Beta 3=9957 EDD 2/22/15!!


     

     

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  • Mayzie15Mayzie15 member
    I'm so sorry Becky! I would hop on a plane and drink all night with you if I weren't in the middle of my own craptastic cycle. I agree with private one you are so fortunate to have those frosties and you deserve to be a mom. no reason not to go forward with an FET. We might all have to come and have a chat with YH ;). Take care of yourself and my thoughts are with you during this tough time.

    Me 38 MH 41 - TTC since June 2010 - dx with Severe MFI. Straight to IVF with ICSI. IVF #1 - ER 06/13/12 - 9 Eggs Retrieved - 4 ICSI'd - only 2 fert. 06/15/12 - 2DT - 3 cell & 6 cell with fragmentation. Beta 06/29/12 - IVF #1 = BFN. 07/20/12 - WTF Appt -Told by our RE to quit IVF. Second Opinion from RE is good. IVF#2 - November 2012. Estradiol Pills Started 11/6. Stims start 11/16. ER 11/26 - 7 eggs retrieved - all mature. 4 fertilized with ICSI. ET 11/29 Transferred 3 embryos. Beta is 12/10. 1st Beta 81 2nd Beta 160 and 3rd beta 360!!! First U/S 12/21/12 - We saw one beautiful gest. sac. 2nd U/S is 01/04/2013 - H/B 183 02/05/13 - NT Scan - everything looks good and IT'S A BOY!  Aiden was born 08/20/2013.

    IVF #2 is in progress.  ER was 05/12/14 - 11 eggs retrieved, 8 fertilized with ICSI.  ET was 05/15/14 - we transferred 3 embryos as we did on the cycle my son was conceived.  We were able to freeze 3 embryos. Beta is scheduled for 05/26/14.  1st beta - 111.  2nd beta - 159 didn't double :( 3rd beta Friday 5/30) - not a lot of hope left. Beta # 3 is 247 - probably ectopic.  Beta # 4 is 813 - possibly vanishing multiple sydrome?  06/05/14 - 5w4days - first U/S - we see a gestational sac and yolk - still have hope!  06/17/14 - 7w1day - U/S and saw and heard the heartbeat - Finally!  06/27/14 - 8w4days - Baby and heartbeat look and sound great :)  EDD 02/01/14 and It's a boy!


     "Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end."


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  • Samuelismomma Samuelismomma member
    Oh no , I'm so sorry Becky. I'm so angry for you right now:( you support us and you so deserved this. I so hope your H changes his mind and does FET. Thoughts and prayers with you tonight:(
    ***ticker warning*** DS 3/27/12 born 6 weeks early....my perfect boy !! Lilypie Third Birthday tickersLilypie First Birthday tickers [url=http://lilypie.com][img]http://lb1f.lilypie.com/z5R8p1.png[/img][/url] image<a href="http://www.thebump.com/?
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  • LindsayF24LindsayF24 member
    So so sorry Becky :( Hugs to you!
    BFP: 5/10/14 after 14 cycles of trying!
    EDD: 1/21/15
    5/12 1st beta: 28
    5/14 2nd beta: 87.5
    5/23: 3rd beta: 4000.6 + saw gestational sac and yolk sac
    5/30: 4th beta: 17,852 + saw fetal pole and heard heartbeat! 127 BPM!
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  • ksgsmuksgsmu member
    Oh Becky I am so so sorry-  ((hugs))
    ***siggy/ticker warning***

    Me:36 DH:38 TTC#1 since 4/2012
    Me DX: Hashimotos,Hypothyroid, DOR, MTHFR,  DH: normal

     IUI #1-#4 BFNs and a few cancelled cycles in the mix.
    - poor responder
    ***Suprise BFP on 6/13/13. Natural MC @6wks 3days
    IVF#1 and 2- Cancelled due to no response on max stimms
    FET 5/20- BFP
    1st Beta- 641
    2nd beta- 2166
    Sono- TWINS!!!!
    Two Boys! Born January 2015 @36 weeks.  Healthy and no NICU!  So blessed!



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  • hooligans4hooligans4 member
    Aw Becky I was hoping for a miracle. You will do a FET or two if needed, your husband will come around. The majority of the money was to get those chilly embies. You have them now so you have to use them. I will use a Jedi mind trick to many your husband see the logic in it.
    I will break my diet for you tonight and have a rum and coke with you while I give the universe the bird.
    Can my arms reach PA from Long Island so I can give you a real hug. I'm gonna try!!!!

      Me:39, DH:40

    DD born 8/96, DS born 8/04

    TTC#3

    NTNP since 2006, active trying 1/13

    Natural M/C 3/13 at 7 weeks

    CP 2/14

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers

             imageimage

    All welcome

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  • TAT2MAMITAT2MAMI member
    So sorry to hear this news, Becky. I was really hoping for a different outcome. Hope your H changes his mind about the FET's. Sending you hugs. @BeckyP005
    Me: 38 ~  DH: 38 ~   DD: 8
    TTC #2 since March/April 2014.
     
     
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  • annaliselannalisel member
    Hugs Becky. I'm so sorry. It's not fair.
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  • gabbagalgabbagal member
    I'm so sorry :(
    Me: 41, DH: 42, married 2009
    BFP #1: 12/05/2012; EDD 08/09/2013; MC 01/2013 (missed, D&C)
    BFP #2: 12/19/2013; EDD 08/25/2014; MC 01/2014 (natural)
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  • ELF4321ELF4321 member
    ********* ticker/siggy warning *********

    Becky, I'm so very sorry this cycle didn't work for you. I agree with the other ladies -- having frosties is a blessing and wasting them would be a shame. You'll always wonder "what if", and I think your DH will come around to realize that. Hugs and best wishes as you determine the next steps in your journey.


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  • thirtyninetofortythirtyninetoforty member
    Becky, I am so sorry to hear this!!!  I really wanted you to be able to move off this board...you deserve it.  ((HUGS))
    41 & single; DX:  PCOS
    TTC #1 with IUI and donor sperm
    First IUI May, 2014, Clomid + Trigger = BFN
    Second IUI July, 2014, Clomid + Trigger = BFN
    Third IUI Dec, 2014, Femara + Follistim + Trigger = BFN
    Fourth IUI Feb 2015, Femara + Follistim + Trigger = C/P :(

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  • kindershlitzkindershlitz member
    I'm so sorry
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  • sidey1sidey1 member

    siggy warning****

    I'm so sorry! Big hugs to you, I'm confident your DH will come around and you'll get to do your FET, fingers crossed that you get some answers from your RE that help determine your path forward...

    nate and teddy        <img src=http://flic.kr/p/hi2aWe width="150px">

    Me 43 DH 48 Not actively ttc, surprise BFP on 1/6/11! 4/1/11 m/c our sunshine at 16wks after complications from CVS test.  *5th cycle after loss 12/6/11 BFP! Missed m/c at 9 weeks 1/21/12, trisomy 14. Two Chemical PG 3/12&7/12
    ** BFP 8/16/12 beta #1 148! beta#2 407 beta #3 4000 u/s 9.10 1 lovely hb 126, Baby Boy born 5/6/2013!

    TTC #2, bpf 1/15/15 Baby Girl due Oct 1! She's here, 9/26/2015! 

     Pregnancy Ticker


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  • CML11CML11 member
    I'm so sorry to read this. It sucks to try and be so optimistic and at the same time not get your hopes high. My heart goes out to you! Big hugs!!!
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  • Sherby613Sherby613 member
    ** siggy warning **

    I am so sorry. 
    **** Warning: Children/Loss Mentioned ****

    Natural cycle BFP 7/09; "baby bear" born 3/10
    Natural cycles starting 7/10; two cycles with clomid = BFP 12/10; m/c 2/2011 
    Cycle #3 with clomid = BFP 5/11; "baby lamb" born 2/12
    Natural cycles starting Nov 2013; 1/13 chemical pregnancy
    RE Apr 2014 Dx = hypothryoidism (Rx for synthroid)
    BFP 6/2014 Baby #3 due Feb 2015
     
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  • MelissaMisoMelissaMiso member
    Thoughts and prayers are with you. I'm truly sorry, Becky

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  • CaraHCaraH member
    Oh no... I'm going to go kick something in your name.
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  • jchow009jchow009 member
    I am really sorry ! Sending hugs!
    http://www.thebump.com/profiles/profiles-resources/images/img_check.png
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  • Pintobean39Pintobean39 member
    I'm so sorry ((hugs))
    Fucking bump!!!!
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  • Mrs.McIrishMrs.McIrish member
    More hugs here. It sucks....

    TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
    DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
    5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
    OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
    DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
    DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
    CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
    DE IVF #3 1/14  ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d

    DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
    First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!

    K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days

    imageimage

    SAIF/PAIF Welcome


    http://waitingforraintostop.wordpress.com

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  • Kmcghe45Kmcghe45 member
    Hi Becky I know how you feel had four bfns in a row the heartache is wow words can't come close sorry for the heartbreak
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  • HeathernStevenHeathernSteven member
    So sorry my dear ((hugs)) I hope you can do a FET. Hugs!

    image
    My Ovulation Chart


    Me: 41 DH: 46. We are TTC our 1st, started July '11,
    3 cycles clomid with Ob,
    1 cycle Tamoxifen with Ob,
    Diagnosed PCOS 11/5/12
    clomid, trigger & timed bd 12/12 BFN
    1st clomid IUI 1/4/13 BFN.
    2nd clomid IUI 2/13 cancelled didn't respond to clomid.
    3/15/13 scheduled laparoscopy & on bcp.

    May 10 IUI from injectibles - BFN 

    May 22 done with interventions it will either happen or it won't. 

    February 2014 No longer actively trying, but not preventing. 

    SURPISE BFP 4/2/2015!!!!!!!!!!

    Miscarriage 4/23/15

     

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  • RadiantlyRadiantly member
    Oh honey I'm so sorry to read this news, I was feeling so good for you - I am sending love ... be gentle with yourself.  XO
    TTC#1 since Aug 2013, I'm 37, DH 41.  
    Maya Arvigo Abdominal massage (daily self care), plus TTC meditations.
    I'm very sensitive to diet (gluten, avoid processed foods) and environment. Have a history of inflammation and tendinitis before going off gluten in 2009.  
    July 2014 - RE Visit #1: Eggs look good, Endometrioma on R ovary, HSG showed blocked R tube close to ovary. DH SA normal 
    DX: Endometriosis probably the IF cause and gunking up tubes.  Since egg reserve is high, RE says I can wait a couple months and then get laproscopic surgery to remove endo & clear tube.  If that doesn't help then move to IVF. 
    Dec 2014 - Saw new RE - does not recommend surgery on tube as it isn't likely to help.  Doubts I have endometriosis.  My endometrioma shrunk to neglible size (yay!) 
    Seriously considering IVF in March/April
    12/17/14 - Natural BFP! 
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  • ShebamommyShebamommy member
    So sorry.


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  • lcwedlcwed member
    I am so sorry.  I was hoping that this would be the first of many BFPs for this board in the upcoming weeks.  Hopefully you will be able to do a FET with the rest of the embryos.  The fact that many of us can share a drink with you makes us even closer.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers

    Me 36 DH 39
    DD 3/29/12
                      BFP 6/4/14 ~ MMC 7/7/14 ~ D&C 7/15/14            
    BFP 11/28/14 ~ MMC  12/29/14    

    TTCAL Siggy Challenge
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  • latershraderlatershrader member
    I'm sorry I'm late to the game with my condolences. The universe is a bitch! I hope you can and DH can agree to do a FET. You are in my thoughts and prayers this week.
    *TW below*
    Me: 40 DH: 38
    TTC since November 2012
    BFP IUI Cycle 2 Dec 2016
    Baby Boy Due Sept 12 2017
    Elias (Eli) born 9/2/17 at 7:07pm weight 8lbs 10oz and 20.5 inches long!!


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  • KirstenAleciaKirstenAlecia member
    blah….that does suck. Hugs my friend. 
    SIGGY WARNING
    Me 38   DH 34
    married 05-21-11 
    started TTC right away






    BFP- 10-16-14 EDD 6/13/15: MC 12-1-14 
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