Intro - May I please join?

meli1025

Hi everyone, I'm Meli.  I've been a member of the AL communities since we lost our daughter in October 2012.  I recognize a lot of names here and would like to join this group.  I have a DS who will be 4 in late July and we just had our rainbow, another DS on 4/29.  I'm looking forward to being a part of this group!

Sorry to immediately be needy, but I'm kind of having a hard time right now.  Did anyone find that once they brought their rainbow home they continued to worry about every little thing?  During the pregnancy I worried until he was out safely, and now that he's here I'm worrying about everything else.  I'm over analyzing everything about him and instead of just enjoying this time that I so looked forward to, I find that I'm making myself sick with worry.  For example, his head was pretty small at birth around the tenth percentile.  DS1 had a huge head.  So naturally, I google small heads and now I'm worrying sick that something is wrong.  He scored 9/9 on his apgar, passed all of his reflex tests, hearing, etc.  The ped is not worried...so why  am I?  He also got very bruised during delivery, which was via c-section.  The bruises are all clearing up nicely but I can't help but wonder if something hurt him permanently.  The docs didn't seem concerned at all so why am I?  I know that my hormones are still all over the place...but sometimes I'm just incredibly sad and worried and then other times I feel OK and realize that I'm probably being ridiculous.  Anyway, sorry to ramble, but this is what I'm going through right now and just wanted to see if anyone else had similar experiences.  Thanks for listening!

km_md

Welcome!! Glad to see you over here, congratulations on your rainbow I think that worrying is pretty normal, but when it really starts to interfere with your daily life, I'd look into doing something about it. I know that I couldn't wait for DD to be born, but once she was, I just found a ton of new things to worry about. Worrying and parenthood obviously go hand in hand, but I hope that you can find a way to feel a bit better soon. ((hugs))

Mom2anAngel2

Welcome and congrats!  I worried all the time, and still do.  Maybe I have relaxed a bit, but I worry constantly.  Right after birth I blamed it on the hormones, but now I feel it is just part of being a mom.  Of course we worry about if they could be sick or get hurt.  I think that what you are feeling is completely normal.  Don't be so hard on yourself. 

KJsbabe

Welcome and congrats! I worried a lot after we brought DD home. My worries were mainly about SIDS. I worried all the time that she would just stop breathing and I wouldn't notice in time to help her. I checked on her A LOT! Probably way more than I needed to. Eventually as she grew my fears subsided a bit. I still worry about her, but I'm her mom, that's what I'm supposed to do.

Wifey xo

Huge congrats, and welcome! I just wanted him all to myself and did not want people around for weeks (although they were). I felt very possessive and emotional- not like myself at all. Hang in there Mama, I think we have all worried more than expected.

meli1025

Thank you all so much, I appreciate knowing that I'm not alone in these feelings. I will not hesitate to call my therapist if I don't start to ease up a bit soon. It's all so overwhelming now that he's here. I had a really good day today though, he's such a little love. I wish you all a happy Mother's Day!