Help! Opinions Needed..

Sunshine1116 · May 2014

I am considering letting work know about my pregnancy. I actually told my boss in the beginning, he has been aware of my history and supportive of everything and with my loss brain wanted to tell him early incase something did happen he could understand what was going on. So the only other people I want to tell is the team of 4 that I manage. I'm starting to "show" a little more and have actually had an increase in nausea so figured it would be good to let them know what was going on. That and at this point, if something were to happen they would find out anyway as I would be gone for a few days.

The problem, and the help I'm needing is I know one of the ladies on my team is struggling with infertility and has been going through treatments for at least the last 4 months if not longer. I know from having losses and struggling myself pregnancy announcements aren't the best, so I'm questioning on how I should handle it. I was considering sending her an email letting her know, but then didn't want to come across as being condescending. My original plan was to just let everyone know in one of our team meetings, but don't want to put her in an awkward position either.

So just wanted to get this board's opinions as you guys are usually good with this kind of thing. Thanks so much!

JCM285 · May 2014

This is a really great question. I have had 2 previous losses and plenty of people have announced their pregnancies to me since then. Did it make me feel like crap? Temporarily, yes. Did I get over it? Yes and I was even happy for them. However nobody knew about either of my two losses so I'm sure that you knowing your teammates history puts you in a bit of a different position. I just wanted you to know that she will most likely react in a similar way regardless: feel like crap temporarily and then get over it and feel happy for you. Also I agree that telling her in an email might not be the best idea. Good luck! I am also nervous about announcing at work although I am waiting for about another month to do so.

leeanne101 · May 2014

i agree you should send her an email giving her your reasoning so she would be prepared when you tell the team.

jess123456 · May 2014

Absolutely send her an email before to give her the heads up. Let her know that you plan to announce to the team and when you plan to do it so she can make sure she isn't there if it's too hard for her. Hearing other's announcements are really hard no matter what especially when you are forced to fake a smile in person. I would also be careful of when you send the email. Does she check her email over the weekend? Maybe that would be best so she can handle it in the privacy of her own home etc.