Questions about wills and estate planning

jf198400

DH and I are finally meeting with a lawyer next week about estate planning. (We should have done this years ago). Is there anything we should do to prepare for our meeting? Do I need to bring anything specific with me? Any general advice? I basically have no clue what I'm doing, so give me the Estate Planning for Dummies version.

GreenMonkey1

Some lawyers have an estate planning checklist they provide to clients prior to a meeting that has information to bring.  The lawyer may give you one when you meet him/her.  Basically it helps people collect all of their asset information to make the estate planning more straightforward.  Here is one from the American Bar Association.  You can also do a google search for "estate planning questionnaire" or similar to find other versions.  

My guess is if the lawyer did not give you and your DH something to fill out prior the lawyer may give you one at the meeting.  DH and I finished our estate planning when DS was about 6-months.  The hardest part for us was to determine guardians for DS and future children.  We know who was our first choice, but wanted a back-up and that caused some consternation (between us) that needed to be worked out.

snicksnack

Estate planning for dummies is basically what my husband does with each of his clients LOL. He meets with them and sends them off with homework. One thing they are generally shocked about is that in our state who the parents appoint as guardians is not law and therefore can be fought in court. Normally the judge goes with the parent’s wishes but grandparents can contest make sure everyone is on board. Another suggestion he gives is to have one person in charge of the money and another of the kids to avoid misuse of funds. You would be surprised to see what happens in some cases.

cecilyandgautam

I went to a workshop on this at my work. They said it speeds up the process if you can bring in all your designated beneficiary forms for everything - retirement account, life insurance, long-term care insurance if you have it, salary at work (anything work owes you but had yet to pay prior to your death), ownership statements on your car, home and any other assets. 

For your will, there is some standard language that's going in no matter what, but you may want to think ahead of time if there's anything you'd like specially handled, ie - not just handed to your spouse or put in a trust for your child. Like if you have certain family heirlooms that you want to give to a sibling or you want to leave a portion of your wealth to a charity or your religious organization - having that sort of thing written out ahead of time speeds up the process as well. 

You'll also need to specify custody, so having those names and the order of succession agreed upon going into the meeting is helpful. 

Edit: If there's something you've been saying you want done when you pass away (your body being handled in a particular way, or a certain account to be given to some one who wouldn't inherit it by default), please put these details in your will!! Telling everyone who would be in charge of making sure it happens isn't really enough - of course people can contest and relatives might argue over these details, but it's also a burden on those who execute your will to try to reconcile what they recall you clearly stating your wishes were vs. what you bothered to put down. So, I think the kindest thing to do is to clearly spell your wishes out, even if you feel like you're repeating yourself for the 100th time. Just my .02. 

steponalego11

snicksnack said:

Estate planning for dummies is basically what my husband does with each of his clients LOL. He meets with them and sends them off with homework. One thing they are generally shocked about is that in our state who the parents appoint as guardians is not law and therefore can be fought in court. Normally the judge goes with the parent’s wishes but grandparents can contest make sure everyone is on board. Another suggestion he gives is to have one person in charge of the money and another of the kids to avoid misuse of funds. You would be surprised to see what happens in some cases.

what state if you don't mind me asking? My DH and I are not choosing grandparents but know that they would go that route if given the chance.

Pips09

You'll need info on all of your accounts and investments, both personal and through work, and you and your H need to make decisions about what you want to happen in the worst case scenario. Who gets the kids, who gets financial control, etc. The planner should be able to walk you through the process pretty easily if you have thought about these things ahead of time.

jess9802

I'm an estate planning attorney. Sometimes I send a questionnaire to clients before our appointment, but for the most part I'm able to get that information during our meeting. What I tell clients to bring to the initial meeting is a basic list of their assets with approximate values, and whether there are designated beneficiaries on any accounts. I also want them to think about who they will name as personal representatives of their respective wills (and the alternates), guardians and conservators for minor children, who they want to receive their assets and when (including what happens if children predecease or die simultaneously). Finally, I always recommend clients execute durable general powers of attorney and advance directives, and fiduciaries must be appointed under each of those documents, so they should consider that as well.

MommyAtty

Texas is one of those states where "the best interest of the children" as determined by a court trumps the will for custody. So our wills spell out that one set of grandparents have chosen to have no relationship with my children of their own volition and should not be given custody unless the only other option is foster care.

SunAndRain

DH and I met with a lawyer AND our financial planner at the same time so our financial planner was able to provide our financial picture and advise us along with the advice we received from our lawyer.

Basically, we had to decide how to divide up our assets, guardianship for DD, how much DD would receive of her inheritance and at what age (we did not go for a one lump sum), and we did power of attorney and living wills at the same time.  There were some things DH and I had to discuss and agree on but really that part was surprisingly easy as DH was agreeable to my preferences.