Please no judgement...

lcloffredo

My DH and I discussed birth control options before we ever had our first. We always said we wanted three kids and then we were done. Well these babies will make three! After struggling with infertility I feel like a vasectomy or tubal ligation is too drastic. We discussed this before our struggle and agreed but now...I don't know. Nothing seems like the right fit and I know we have a while before we have to worry about it but I wanted to know what you ladies think/what your plans are. (Please no judging I already struggle enough with this.)

indianaalum

I am confused. Are you pregnant now? I don't know your current background? If you are pregnant now, i certainly would do nothing now until you have an "outside" baby as you may feel different once the baby is born. Also, if something (God forbid) happens where the pregancy doesnt go well, you may kick yourself if you have your husband get a vasectomy prematurely

JMO

lcloffredo

Yes I am pregnant now and we are planning on waiting but have been talking about it and I was looking to see if others feel the same/similar.

sunflowermama42212

I wouldn't stress in making a decision right now. You have no clue what life will bring and you can make a better decision with time and not rushing to find an answer. This is a very personal opinion so regardless of any advice you get, you have to be the one to come to peace with anything you decide on.

xtina78

Personally, I would be nervous about a (mostly) permanent option like vasectomy or TL. 

I have no idea if we could get pregnant without ART (we never have) and part of me wanted to throw caution to the wind and hope we would get a spontaneous baby. However, DH and I have talked about it, and while that would be wonderful and exciting, we are not ready for 3 under two! Who knows how we will feel about this in 2-3 years. My current plan (which could be revised) is to get an IUD as from what I understand this doesn't affect breast-feeding. I also know most people experience very little side effects and they last several years. 

If I were you, I'd try not to worry too much right now, but open up a dialogue with your DH and also talk to your OB about different birth control options.

DoublePortion

My plan is to go on BCP after delivery, but the driving force for me is that BCPs help control endo. I have no clue if we'll want to try again since these 2 may be all we can handle. lol I just know I don't want to make a permanent decision till later on.

ccam

I'm almost positive that we'll be done after this LO, but I don't think we'll do anything permanent right away.  I'll most likely go on some sort of BC after #2 gets here and then make that decision further down the road. 

Allison7

Well, I am on my first, so my situation is different than yours. We got pregnant on a retesting cycle and didn't miscarry like we had in the past. No one really knows how that happened because the retesting showed DOR - they actually told us our chances of having a baby without ART was 1-2%. We would love to have more kids, so there will not be any BC after LO arrives. We would love it if lightening could strike twice and my OB likes to remind me that this pregnancy could actually change a lot of my numbers for the better, so I am totally okay with In my situation, our debate is if we should go back to the RE or just be happy for this miracle. 

In the event that we do get a second child right away, then I would probably consider a non-hormone IUD, but I am not certain if we would go for it or not. It is hard to say what you would do until you are in that position. The only thing that I know for certain is that I would not ever consider vasectomy or tubal ligation. Too permanent for me

happygirl1013

I totally understand- I believe every woman has the right to take control of their reproductive health, whether that means trying to or trying not to have a baby.

I spoke to my PCOS doctor about this and we decided we're going to evaluate my hormone, thyroid and blood sugar levels 2 months after delivery.  From there, we're going to decide what medications I should go on to help regulate my PCOS.  I've made the personal decision to ask not to go back on BC of any kind, but like others said, with male and female IF issues, I doubt it would ever happen.

Talk to your doctor!  Good luck :-)

marnief

I tend to get awful menstrual cramps, and the pill was amazing at diminishing them.  So I'd love to go back on after Munchkin arrives, but I think BCP interferes with breastfeeding.  We are still up in the air as to whether or not we want to try for #2 so I don't really know.  My dream is to BF for a year, then - if we do decide to try for #2 - maybe try for 2-3 months on our own and then go back to the RE for a few more rounds of IVF - but I'd set a time limit of 4-6 months/cycles, probably.  I will be 36 in two days, so I'd be looking at 38 for pregnancy #2, possibly 39 by the time I'd deliver.  That's about as late as I want to go, and if we decide to try and it doesn't happen in the time limit, I would definitely go back on BCP until Mother Nature takes care of it for me.

xtina78

@marnief - just FYI - I believe the so-called "mini-pill" IS compatible with breast feeding - you would have to double-check with your doctor. The downsides are that maybe it won't control your cramps as well as the regular pill does, and I've also heard (anecdotally) that it's not as effective as the regular pill at actually preventing pregnancy.

marnief

Thanks for the info!  Not super-worried about getting pregnant again - it would be a miracle and we would welcome it as such - so I will definitely ask about that.