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Intro and Your Opinion

SillySally24SillySally24 member
in Third-Party Reproduction

Hello everyone.  A little background on my situation.  I am 43 and have DOR.  So fiancé and I are looking at donor eggs, per RE recommendation.  Here’s where the story comes in – my sister is 39 and in basically same situation.  Her FSH & AMH are a little better, but not much.  She just tried an IVF cycle and only ended up with 1 follicle maturing, so switched to IUI, since she’d already taken all the meds.  She is also going down the donor egg path.

I'm looking for opinions on the idea of using the same donor, with a shared donor program.  Is this too weird?  A pro is that the cousins would have ½ familial DNA, so would have that extra “bond”.  Con – are they half siblings?

She lives in CO and her RE won’t do shared programs, I’m in PA and my RE does have shared programs.  I’m going into RE on Friday and plan to ask all kinds of questions about our situation – but wanted to get some feedback from you ladies.  What would you do in our situation?  Thank you for your time!

Me: 43, DOR   FI: 44, SA normal
TTC Since Nov 2013

01/2014: Meeting with RE to discuss options
02/2014: Clomid + Trigger + TI = BFN
03/2014: on the bench
05/2014: meeting with RE to discuss Donor IVF options
09/2014 - IVF#1 - converted to IUI - BFN

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Re: Intro and Your Opinion

  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    edited May 2014
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  • SillySally24SillySally24 member
    Thank you for your thoughts, you've made some awesome points, @marshmallowevening.  Yes, my sister and I have discussed it - she's the one who's got the hang-ups actually - even though it was her idea at first :)  She does tend to overthink things...  And it working for one and not the other could be an issue and something we'd have to talk about - or really come to terms with ourselves.  Thank you again.

    Me: 43, DOR   FI: 44, SA normal
    TTC Since Nov 2013

    01/2014: Meeting with RE to discuss options
    02/2014: Clomid + Trigger + TI = BFN
    03/2014: on the bench
    05/2014: meeting with RE to discuss Donor IVF options
    09/2014 - IVF#1 - converted to IUI - BFN

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  • J&D2007J&D2007 member
    I think that would be wonderful! It would be a great bond between the children and between you and your sister. And it'd cut costs, too...
    Me: 37, DH: 38: ttc 7 years, dx: unknown
    10/11: after 2 years, saw a RE, FSH 5.4
    11/11: BFP! (surprise after thyroid & normal hsg),
    12/11: missed m/c after 7 week u/s, 1/12: D&C
    6/12 IUI#1-IUI #3: clomid = BFP!, C/P
    IVF #1(10/12) FSH 5.4, AFC: 16 long Lupron, 5R/5M/4F, all 4 made it to 5dt, 1 blast/1-8 cell transferred=BFN
    IVF #2(12/12)AFC 21, MD lupron, 4R/4M/3F, 5dt of 1 blast and 2-8cell. BFN.
    IVF#3(4/13) Natural start antagon protocol, 12R,11F. one PGS normal at day 6 transfer. BFN.
    IVF#4 (11/13) C.CRM (ODW.U normal 8/13 Still no Diagnosis) EPP/antagonist. ER 13R/7M/6F. Only 1 made it to freeze. Abnormal. Looking into options of DE, Fresh vs frozen.
    10/14 new local RE to look into what's next. CD3 FSH 4.7, AMH 0.9. Met with DE agencies and exploring options for feb/march 2015.
    Surprise natural bfp (4 days before donor is signed). Beta #1 at 9dpo: 51.8, 2nd beta: 195 (25 hours doubling) @11dpo. 3rd beta (12/15): 516 (35 hrs doubling) 4th beta(12/17): 895 (58 hours doubling) 5th beta(12/19): 2120. U/S at 5w0d(12/22): one gestational sac with yolk sac. U/S #2 (6w0d)12/29. One little bean measuring 6w0d with HR 124. 3rd u/s(1/4)7w0d: baby measuring 7w2d. HR 134. 3/30: A/S at MFM went great except for low lying placenta. Verifi results are normal! Team Blue! Please send any positive thoughts our way! EDD:8/24/2015
    Baby Will born 8/18. He's perfect.
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  • brooklynesquebrooklynesque member
    I think it would be wonderful for cousins to those genes in common, as long as you and your sister are on the same page about expectations.

    Regarding where to cycle, the right answer might be none of the above.  DE is expensive, obviously, and it's fairly easy to travel for it since the recipient(s) can do most of their monitoring remotely.  Pick a place with good SART DE stats and a lot of DE cycles, not necessarily just where you (or your sister) have been going thus far.  Good luck!
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  • ksgsmuksgsmu member
    I think it is a cool option but I would make sure you are both 100%  and perhaps even go to a couple of counseling sessions to talk it through. 
    ***siggy/ticker warning***

    Me:36 DH:38 TTC#1 since 4/2012
    Me DX: Hashimotos,Hypothyroid, DOR, MTHFR,  DH: normal

     IUI #1-#4 BFNs and a few cancelled cycles in the mix.
    - poor responder
    ***Suprise BFP on 6/13/13. Natural MC @6wks 3days
    IVF#1 and 2- Cancelled due to no response on max stimms
    FET 5/20- BFP
    1st Beta- 641
    2nd beta- 2166
    Sono- TWINS!!!!
    Two Boys! Born January 2015 @36 weeks.  Healthy and no NICU!  So blessed!



    image 

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  • liz4pawsliz4paws member
    I think that's a really cool option. I'm not in the same situation as you, but I can say that the TPR link I've been given with our donors has been a huge blessing. Any way you can connect can't be a bad thing. I agree, counseling with a psychologist who specializes in TPR issues would be a great idea but personally, I love this idea. :) GL!

    ************ Signature/Ticker Warning ************
     Me (32) DH (36) - Finding our way to baby #1
     Me: POF/DOR - AMH <0.16, heterozygous c677t MTHFR, insulin resistant and gluten intolerant
     DH: Severe MFI

     12/2/11 - IUI #1- BFN 
    8/1/12 - IVF #1 - Zero response from max stims (600iu intramuscularly)
    My ovaries are just for decoration

     12/6/12 - Adopted five embryos that had been frozen for over ten years!
     2/11/13 - DEmbryo FET #1 Thawed four, sadly two didn't survive. Transferred two beautiful blasts. 
     2/16/13 - First BFP of my life @ 6dp5dt! EDD 10/30/13
     3/27/13 - After beta and u/s hell, no heartbeat ever detected. D&C at 9w1d.

    6/5/13 - Adopted four new embryos that had been frozen for seven years!      
    9/12/13 - DEmbryo FET #2. Thawed and transferred two beautiful blasts
    9/17/13 - BFP @ 5dp6dt! EDD 05/31/14
     9/29/13 - m/c @ 5w1d. :(

    11/19/13 - DEmbryo FET #3. Thawed and transferred one blast from each batch. Wow!
     11/23/13 - BFP @ 4dp6dt! EDD 8/7/13
    Beta #1 @ 13dp6dt - 522  Beta #2 @ 16dp6dt - 1373 
    6w5d ultrasound showed one perfect baby with a beautiful heartbeat of 134bpm!

    Snowflake baby is a girl! 
    Our beautiful Snowflake girl arrived on July 22, 2014!   
     My embryo adoption blog: Wishing on a Snowflake
      
        image      image 
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  • Km672Km672 member
    I think it would be amazing, but I would definitely go to a counsellor who specializes in this.

    Me (32) DOR, elevated NK Cells/ 2 copies of MTHFR mutation/ MH (35) azoo/high DFI   (TTC#1 since 2009)

    IVFs#1-4: (4/10-2/12) all BFN

    Surprise Bfp (9/11) - c/p

    DS IUI#1-2 (9/12, 10/12) - BFN

    DS IVF: (11/12) - BFN

    DE/DS IVF#1: (10/13) - 2 day 3 embies transferred-BFFN

    FET of 2 day 6 blasts: (12/13) - c/p

    DE/DS IVF #2: (4/14) - 1 day 5 blast transferred...BFFN...again.

    FET 5/14: 1 day 5 hatching blast transferred...another BFFN

    Repeat SHG 6/14-normal / Endometrial Receptivity Array biopsy 7/14-Receptive Uterus

    New RE, additional testing reveals elevated NK Cells

    FET of 1 day 5 blast (RE recommends transferring 1 due to elevated NK cells) with lovenox, steroids & intralipids in October

     

     

     

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  • daydreamer34254daydreamer34254 member
    That has the potential to be really beautiful! I agree with the other ladies on the counseling. If you're both 100%, then I think it would be wonderful!
    image
    TTC since March 2012
    Dx: Unexplained IF, Arcuate Uterus, Minimal Endometriosis, Poor Embryo Quality
    Tx History: 1 Injects+TI, 5 IUIs, 3 IVFs, 1 FET = all BFN and full of heartbreak
    Plan: Waiting to see if our potential donor is a match for DE IVF #1


    Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
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  • 2MamazInSeattle2MamazInSeattle member
    I have three sisters and I would LOVE if our kids were genetically linked if at all possible. Lots to figure out, but you will! Good luck!
    Lil'mamaz was born on Aug 21, 2014! She's PERFECT!

    It's been a long road to here...
    Me (43) and J (45) - same sex couple. And we don't feel 40+!
    June'12 - First RE Visit
    Sept. '12 - Tubes removed
    Dec. '12 - Donor Egg/Donor Sperm IVF Cycle - 4 good embies!
    Dec. '12 - Fresh transfer, BFP! EDD 8/29/13
    Mar. '13 - Missed m/c at 16w1d, baby boy stopped growing at 15w4d
    Loss due to umbilical cord clot...baby was perfect. :(
    Jul '13 - FET#1 - c/p
    Sept. '13 - FET#2 - BFN
    Dec.' 2, 2013 - FET#3 with our last chance embie - BFP!!!
    Dec' 26, 2013 - hb!!
    EDD 8/20/14 with a baby girl!
    Little S was born on 8/21/14 - 8lb, 14 oz and 20 inches long.
    We live in Seattle and used SRM for our donor egg IVF cycle


    imageimageimageimage

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  • SillySally24SillySally24 member
    Update - We went to our RE on Friday afternoon and discussed this option with him.  He emailed his partners while we were there to see if they could come up with anything that we hadn't already thought of.  None had any ethical issue (which we didn't see either), the only suggestion that came back more than once was counseling, which is mandatory at the RE anyway.  I'm sure there will be some extra discussion than a normal counseling session :) 

    @JimBobCooter - she currently goes to CCRM in Denver.

    Me: 43, DOR   FI: 44, SA normal
    TTC Since Nov 2013

    01/2014: Meeting with RE to discuss options
    02/2014: Clomid + Trigger + TI = BFN
    03/2014: on the bench
    05/2014: meeting with RE to discuss Donor IVF options
    09/2014 - IVF#1 - converted to IUI - BFN

    Report Reply
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