TTC after 35

newbie saying hi and looking for support group

Hi, I am 36 (nearly 37) and just getting started to think about ttc for first time.  I am overweight and want to do something now to get healthy before ttc.  My husband and I both gained about 20-30 lbs over the last 6-12 months since the wedding and I would like to drop the weight, get more active and motivated, and get healthly as a lifestyle change but am really struggling with the motivation part.  

I work from home and have had a couple of minor health issues (multiple oral surgeries to fix a dentist's negligence, stomach flu, dislocated tendon in foot) which have seriously contributed to my drop in energy, not eating healthy, and gaining weight.  My husband has had similar issues which has caused us also to become less intimate.  We are still in love and committed to this, but the modivation and finding enough time in the day has been our struggle.  We are both just too tired, dont feel well, and are becoming lazy.   

I want to find something low impact we can do together to get off the couch and get us back on track but I am also trying to make sure it isnt some crash diet that wont sustain us.  I read all kinds of articles about which are good and bad foods to focus on when ttc, but I need structure.  any suggestions for a diet plan?  

Now that I am feeling better I would like to get back to my yoga practice and maybe add biking, swimming, or walking but I just need the motivation and more importantly ideas to motivate him.  I think if I could see quick results with a small change I could really motivate myself, but I also dont want to do a crash diet. Also, I really would like to find a way to motivate my husband to be more initimate without being a nag.  A few years ago I lost over 40 lb all on my own so I know I can do it, but it is really hard trying to motivate both of us and doing it without him doesnt work either cause I lose my motivation watching him.  anyone struggling with similar issues or have suggestions?

Re: newbie saying hi and looking for support group

  • lcwedlcwed member
    Welcome to the board. It's great that you are wanting to get back in shape. It is really hard and unfortunately takes time. What has worked for me is tracking calories. I like the lose it app. If I am logging in calories I am less likely to mindlessly snack because I don't want to log it in. When I'm not tracking I fall into bad habits. Walking is also an easy activity to do and it's something you could do with DH. There is also a weekly getting fit post here that can provide motivation and support. Good luck!
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers

    Me 36 DH 39

    DD 3/29/12
                      BFP 6/4/14 ~ MMC 7/7/14 ~ D&C 7/15/14            
    BFP 11/28/14 ~ MMC  12/29/14    

    TTCAL Siggy Challenge

  • Welcome ! I would start small by elimating sugary snacks, soda, chips, etc...I lost 10 lbs and toned doing yoga, and leslie sansone walking dvd's she is also on YouTube. Gonna walk outside now that it's warmer. For ferility diet I would take folic acid and a prenatal to start. You will see a lot of fertility diets are really just eating healthy. Good luck on your ttc journey!
    ***ticker warning*** DS 3/27/12 born 6 weeks perfect boy !! Lilypie Third Birthday tickersLilypie First Birthday tickers [url=][img][/img][/url] image<a href="
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  • Welcome to the board.
    I run a getting healthy check-in on Sundays so please join in on the next one. Many if us are trying to live healthier lives. I can only speak for what has worked for me. I have lost 20 lbs over the last 4 months. Slow and steady wins the race!!!!! The best thing I did was use the MyFitnessPal. It's an app for your phone. It helps keep track of your food. Everything you put in your mouth you enter. You will soon realize all the empty calories you consume. That has been my biggest motivation.
    My husband is not doing it with me so I don't know how to help you there. But if you are the one to do the shopping and cooking you control what is eaten, so stop buying the unhealthy crap.
    If you want an activity to do together, go for a walk every night after dinner. It will get you moving and give you time to talk. I'm sure that will help intimacy. The closer you feel to each other the better it will be.
    But you need to do this for yourself, no one can make you loose weight but we will be here to help you along the way.
    Good luck

      Me:39, DH:40

    DD born 8/96, DS born 8/04


    NTNP since 2006, active trying 1/13

    Natural M/C 3/13 at 7 weeks

    CP 2/14

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers


    All welcome

    Samuelismomma URMySunshine77lcwedBeckyP005
  • tlc35tlc35 member
    Welcome to the board!
    Me: 37                                               
    DH: 45
    BFP #1 3/19/14  EDD 11/29/14 MMC D&C 4/24/14
    BFP #2  12/4/14 Beta #1 218 at 12dpo Beta #2 1055 at 16dpo
    Saw heartbeat 12/29.  Please be a rainbow.
    All welcome                                   
  • Welcome to the board! I wish you the best of luck in your weight loss and TTC journey.
    I agree with taking walks after dinner with your DH. If he doesn't want to, then you go on that walk anyway. Throw on your head phones and get moving! I promise you that you will feel so good afterwards, you will want to do it again the next day, and hopefully your DH will evenually join you. My DH and I work out together and it has helped us out tremendously. I have lost over 30lbs since November. The "lost it" app and "myfitnesspal" app are great for logging in what you eat. It makes you so much more aware and you can also track your exercise.
    And when you need to vent, we're here. ;)

    Me: 38 ~  DH: 38 ~   DD: 8
    TTC #2 since March/April 2014.
  • Hi and welcome! 

    I am also 36 and work from home. Do you have a dog? I am very motivated to walk every five or six hours with the dog. You could even borrow a neighbor's dog if you need extra motivation. :-)

    Have you considered a vegetarian diet (with a good amount of healthy proteins, of course)? I lost weight when I cut out soda, sweetened drinks, and meat (including fish), if you and your husband could do that. If you think you might miss meat, there are a lot of pretty good substitutes like "Smart Sausage." Or you could even adopt a pescatarian diet.

    It is great that you have jumpstarted your exercise changes. I hope that you start seeing results soon. The Health Check-in is a great area to gain support and advice. 


                 Visit The Nest!image Visit The Nest!

      "It is better to light a candle than curse the darkness." - Eleanor Roosevelt


  • **child mentioned**

    Welcome, and I commend you for wanting to get healthier!  I don't work from home, but I'm definitely struggling with a lot of the same things (exhaustion, motivation, scheduling problems, just not feeling well...)  I haven't lost the 40 lbs I gained while pregnant with DD (she's 10 months old), and it's had such a negative impact on my overall physical wellbeing.  We can turn things around, though! :-bd
    *****Signature/Ticker Warning******

    Me: 41, DH: 45
    DD, 6/15/2013
    TTC #2 beginning January 2014
    AMH 1.05; FSH range 7-11

    July 2014: IUI #1.  Follistim + Pregnyl.  2 follicles--BFN
    September 2014: IUI #2.  Follistim + Pregnyl + Ganirelix + Crinone.  4(?) follicles--BFN
    October 2014: IUI #3.  More Follistim + More Ganirelix + Pregnyl + Crinone.  4 follicles--BFP!  Beta #1=10 Beta #2=33 Beta #3=97 Beta #4=158.  M/C 11/1/14
    December 2014: IVF #1.  Microdose Lupron protocol.  9R, 9M, 9F.  3 5-day blasts transferred 12/15. BFFN.
    April 2015: IVF #2.  Microdose Lupron protocol.  16R, 15M, 12F. Transferred 2 5-day blasts 4/12 and froze 4--BFP!  M/C 5/25/15
    August 2015: IVF #3.  14R, 13M, 11F.  Froze 5 blasts for CCS testing.  3 normals.  FET planned for 10/2015.

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  • Hello and welcome! Everyone has given you great advice and info! This board is wonderful :)

    ME:46 MH:44 DE IVF 2014
    Met with RE 4/11. 2 IUI's BFN. DE best option. Switched clinics to do "shared" program. Had to retake all tests and a mamm that put me behind and then on a DE waiting list for 12 months. Picked a donor!! (10/13/13) Got matched. Estimated transfer in December. After 2.5 years of patiently waiting I will finally cycle....can hardly believe it. DE cycle got cancelled. One of her tests came back positive.  Waiting for another donor. Donor picked!! (1/18/14)

    DE IVF #1 (4/26) BFN  DE FET #1 (6/4) BFP! Beta 1=339 Beta 2=852 Beta 3=9957 EDD 2/22/15!!



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  • Welcome to the board. Best of luck in your TTC and weight loss goals. Both are extremely difficult, but can be done. There is plenty of reading material on getting healthy before conceiving. It just depends on what approach you want to take.
    Siggy Warning

    TTC#1 since June 2012

    Dx: Unexplained Infertility / AMA

    BFP after 4th IUI cycle with Gonal F + Ovidrel on March 2014 | EDD 12/7/14 | MMC on 4/14/14 

    IUI#5 with Gonal F and Ovidrel trigger on 6/6 - BFN

    On to IVF #1 with a new RE. Started Gonal F and Menopur on 8/15.  Added Ganirelix on 8/24. Trigger on 8/26 for ER on 8/28. 8R 7M 3F.  Transferred all 3 on 8/31. BFP on 9/11 | EDD 5/20/15 - Beta #1: 56.7. Beta #2: 97. Beta #3: 1148. Beta #4: 3559. Beta #4: 7678. MMC confirmed on 10/13. D&C on 10/14 at 9w. Confirmed male with Trisomy 14.

    On to IVF #2 in March. CCS Testing on 2 embies. No go. Waiting to start IVF #3 in July. Surprise BFP on 6/14! EDD - 2/20/16 - Beta #1: 121.4. Beta #2: 236.4. Beta #3: 2014.

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  • julikamjulikam member
    Thank you all for the encouraging words. I have started to take some of the advice and we will see how things go. I set an alarm for mid morning and mid afternoon to take a break from my computer and walk around the block. Only one walk down so far, but it hope to stick to it. I will try to get my husband to go too, but if not I am going without him. I also downloaded my fitness pal and started entering my food from today. I really like that it breaks down the nutritional content and it is really easy to use so far. I purchased a fitbit one and am waiting to play with it tonight. It is supposed to sync to the my fitness pal app. I am planning to show my husband all my new tools and see if it motivates him too. He is generally supportive so I hope this gives up both the kick in the right direction we needed. Thanks again!
  • CaraHCaraH member
    Welcome!  I think you're wise to focus on getting healthy first.  Not only should it make conceiving easier, but pregnancy and parenting, too.  Really, any of the approaches you've read will work.  Its probably best just to see what 'feels right' to you.  My biggest advice would be to pick something that can become your normal way of eating, rather than a restrictive diet you can't maintain.

    I'll be honest that weight gain isn't my personal struggle, as much a result of genetics as anything else.  BUT, it is my husband's and I have an autoimmune disease, so diet and exercise has always been a big part of managing that.  (And definitely impacts how interested we are in intimacy, which definitely helps when you're ttc!)  What works for us is what I would call a 'whole foods' diet.  We don't count calories, but we are very cautious with refined/processed foods.  So, its mostly meat and vegetables around here.  It takes some time, but quickly becomes a habit.  It helps to keep some 'easy to grab' foods around (pre-cut salad, extra meat from the night you did feel like cooking, boiled eggs, fruit), so that you don't end up going for the packaged stuff when you don't have energy to cook. 

    I don't have any advice for motivating hubby.  Mine is actually the more motivated of the two of us.  (He says its because he's the vain one.)  It sounds like you have had good exercise routines in the past, so you probably know what works for you.  But, since I'm already writing a novel, I might as well add that for me it means getting rid of the excuses.  I have to put the gym on the calendar and then schedule around it, just like any other appointment.  And if I can't schedule the gym, there's really no excuse for not doing the yoga video on Youtube.  It helps that my husband will ask how yoga class was, if he sees it on the calendar, and I hate to admit I didn't go (though he never criticizes).
  • CafeRedCafeRed member

    Good for you for wanting to make healthier lifestyle choices.  Honestly, I think that's the first step to success.  I would probably suggest starting off fairly slowly.  Otherwise, you might find it too hard to keep up the motivation.  This is the perfect time of year to go for a walk every night after dinner, grill chicken and veggies on the barbeque, and play lawn games outside.  Doing activities together might also strengthen your bond with one another, giving you more opportunities to talk and laugh together. 

    Blessings to you and your husband as you start this new endeavor. 

  • Welcome! So much great advice here!!
    TTC#1 since Aug 2013, I'm 37, DH 41.  
    Maya Arvigo Abdominal massage (daily self care), plus TTC meditations.
    I'm very sensitive to diet (gluten, avoid processed foods) and environment. Have a history of inflammation and tendinitis before going off gluten in 2009.  
    July 2014 - RE Visit #1: Eggs look good, Endometrioma on R ovary, HSG showed blocked R tube close to ovary. DH SA normal 
    DX: Endometriosis probably the IF cause and gunking up tubes.  Since egg reserve is high, RE says I can wait a couple months and then get laproscopic surgery to remove endo & clear tube.  If that doesn't help then move to IVF. 
    Dec 2014 - Saw new RE - does not recommend surgery on tube as it isn't likely to help.  Doubts I have endometriosis.  My endometrioma shrunk to neglible size (yay!) 
    Seriously considering IVF in March/April
    12/17/14 - Natural BFP! 
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