After all of DH heart issues I have had multiple breakdowns, panic attacks, and trips to the doctor because I am sure I have cancer, or something terribly wrong with me. DH saw that this was serious and him realizing it, made me realize it too. I need help. I started feeling my neck, arms, etc. for lumps and of course found all sorts of stuff that freaked me out. I then made him feel and let me feel him to see if he had it and maybe it was normal. Yup, I need help. Today I went to the Dr for the "lumps" in my neck. She felt and said everything felt fine to her. I asked her for a psych referral. I will be going to see someone soon! I am relieved to start moving past this. I want another baby, and I want to enjoy our daily life. I am not enjoying everyday now because I am consumed with health problems. I was never like this before. It must be some sort of post trauma issue. I feel like every thought is about dying, health problems, not being here for my son and family, etc. Let me tell you, it's a terrible way to go through the day. But, hopefully today was a step in the right direction as I called a psychologist and am waiting for a call back to schedule. I just feel like we were hit by a bus, and thank God we did because he found out he had the aneurysm and it's fixed now. Now he is healthier than ever, I should be happy. But I feel like instead, I'm waiting for the next bus to hit us.