LO just CIO (was not planned)

mfarmer0811

I've been trying to Put DS down for a nap since 9:30 it's noon cst. I rocked him, swaddled, nursed you name it I tried it. Well, I could tell my blood sugar was getting low, so I put DS in the mamaroo to go check. It was 41!! Which is dangerously low. I knew I didn't have enough strength to be able to pick up DS. I quickly ate to get my blood sugar back up, and by the time I was finished and felt well enough he was sound asleep! It was maybe 5 minutes. I felt horrible, but I knew it wasn't safe for me to hold him.
Anyways, no real point to this, I just feel guilty and like a bad mom. Like, he finally gave up on me coming to get him.

myfriendscallmemeg

I feel this way when I get out of the shower and I can hear her screaming in her crib.

But you did the right thing! I'd much rather hear about your baby crying himself to sleep, than you dropping him and him getting injured!

I'm sorry you feel mommy guilt! It's the worst!

vacsx2

Just remember he is totally fine!

BabyVDM

From a MoM...and a FTM

I can't hold and help both the girls to fall asleep all the time.  It's impossible.

They are happy and thriving despite the occasionally long long crying spell. 

Save yourself from feeling guilty.  You did the right thing.  My Doctors and my Mom tell me it's like whne you are on a plane.  If the air masks come down you need to put yours on first so that you can take care of the LO.  You needed to take care of you so that you that you could take care of him.

Besides you got him the Mommaroo to comfort and rock him.  It did it's job.

You're ok... he's ok. 

mfarmer0811

Thanks y'all. He woke up slightly afterwards anyways. I'm cuddling him while he nurses.

theluckiest9

Sometimes I feel like when I hold her and she's squirmy (she's not a big crier) that she's like that because she knows I'm there so she fights to stay awake to look at me or not miss out on anything. Occasionally I'll put her down if she's being especially squirmy and she'll pass out. Maybe he was just enamored with his momma? Don't feel bad. You need to take care of yourself so you can take care of him!

clo1982

Don't worry about it! Once you have more than one, unfortunately CIO happens from a pretty early time even without intention. You simply can't be in 2 places at one time. You needed to take care of yourself and your little one is no worse off for it! he has already forgotten about it and you should too

maganonymous

First, you shouldn't be so hard on yourself! The situation would have been much worse if you let your blood sugar continue to drop.

Second, what @theluckiest9 said is true for my daughter. She gets so busy looking around at her world that she fights sleep super hard. Maybe your LO is the same?

I learned a lesson from my MIL about this because she said my BIL was the same way when he was little--he would be way too overstimulated. She would just drape a blanket over his head to block out everything he could see and rock him in a quiet room. So, when I am having a particularly challenging time getting LO to sleep, I wrap her in a SwaddleMe so she can't wiggle too much, close up the curtains in her room, drape a blanket over her head (leaving a little "window" for her to breathe/me to look at her and check when she is sleeping), put a paci in her mouth, and rock her. Sometimes it takes a while, but she eventually falls to sleep. Hope this helps for next time he won't conk out!

KariB509

You've got to take care of yourself in order to take care of your LO! Don't feel bad. Sometimes I just have to let DD cry. I spilled milk all over the kitchen today and unfortunately she was crying while I cleaned it all up and then tended to DS.

Mcsweets

Everett cries when he gets tired and I've learned that sometimes if you let him fuss/cry for about 2-3minutes he just falls asleep.  I know Ellie is different - she won't settle she will just get worked up even more.   Every baby is different - I've decided you do what feels best and there's no perfect way to parent!

Mcsweets

torilea said:

Mcsweets said:

Everett cries when he gets tired and I've learned that sometimes if you let him fuss/cry for about 2-3minutes he just falls asleep.  I know Ellie is different - she won't settle she will just get worked up even more.   Every baby is different - I've decided you do what feels best and there's no perfect way to parent!

Ellie does this exact thing.  I just let her cry when it happens.  It's never for more than 5 minutes.  

Yep he gets more frustrated if I try to hold him and whatnot.  I think it's just over-stimulation...

pepperedmoth

Letting LO cry for five minutes while you do what you have to do isn't remotely even similar to CIO. If that's being a bad mom, I am the worst ever, because I let him cry for a few minutes all the time for much less reason.

I don't ignore him while I'm hanging out bumping or whatever, but if I have my hands full of something else I give myself a couple minutes to get to a logical stopping point and then go to him.

For instance, today he started crying while I was fixing myself a bowl of granola. I finished pouring it, put the bowl on the table, and THEN picked him up and held him while I ate. Girl needs her nutrition, if not for me then for LO's milk. Plus, I enjoy cuddling him a hell of a lot more when I'm not hangry.

Later he started crying when I was fixing up his bath. I rocked him in his RnP with my foot and talked to him but I finished making up his bath, cuz it just needed to be done. He was grimy and we have company coming.

Last night I was making dinner when he started crying. Food was going to burn if I dropped everything, so again I rocked him with my foot and sang to him but I got the food off the stove before picking him up.

Life has to go on. You're not a bad mom. You're a loving and compassionate mom. IMO we are even better moms when we can stop beating ourselves up for every little thing. I find I can't love my baby as fully if I'm always feeling inadequate. You are doing BEAUTIFULLY, mama. Carry on.

klitwin1

Excuse my ignorance but what is so wrong with a baby crying for 5 min in a safe place? I guess I don't see the difference between a safe place or in your arms. My baby doesn't cry much but if all her needs are met and I know she's crying because she's tired I have no problem letting her cry in her Mamaroo for 5 min. My doc said its perfectly fine if that's why she is crying but now I'm wondering if there is something wrong with it?

KariB509

Mcsweets said:

torilea said:

Mcsweets said:

Everett cries when he gets tired and I've learned that sometimes if you let him fuss/cry for about 2-3minutes he just falls asleep.  I know Ellie is different - she won't settle she will just get worked up even more.   Every baby is different - I've decided you do what feels best and there's no perfect way to parent!

Ellie does this exact thing.  I just let her cry when it happens.  It's never for more than 5 minutes.  

Yep he gets more frustrated if I try to hold him and whatnot.  I think it's just over-stimulation...


Same with my Julia.

mfarmer0811

bandteacher said:

When I see threads like this, it makes me convinced that this whole board would think I was the worst mom ever if you watched me at home. As @BabyVDM‌ said, you can't keep twins from being left to cry sometimes. These "OMG, my baby cried for a few minutes in a swing, so I'm a bad mom" posts really make me feel like shit. Yes, I use the bouncer as a babysitter sometimes. At times, they cry in it until I can get to them. Otherwise, they would never have clean bottles, mixed formula, or clean clothes.

@bandteacher‌ it was never my intent to make anyone feel badly. I was just expressing how it made me feel.

VanessaBee

bearsbearsbears said:

When my daughter was about 8 weeks old, she was crying for about an hour.  Eventually, I just HAD to go to the bathroom.  I put her down in her crib, ran to the bathroom and took care of business as soon as I could.  When I got out, she was asleep.  Ever since then, I haven't fretted over if my kid cries while I'm taking care of the necessities.

And now that I have a baby and a two year old, my baby's needs don't always get met immediately and he cries.  It happens on the daily--I have to do triage and help out whoever's needs I deem greater.

This. My pedi's original guideline for crying time was to imagine I was in the shower or had a second child - however long it might take to finish / attend to one of those things was a totally appropriate time for Baby to cry. And when we were working at getting him to nap during the day, she suggested that a five to seven minute cry was not only okay, but good for him. It helped burn off a little energy and gave him a chance to settle himself down. Fret not! You're a good momma and your LO probably loved the extra snuggles.