Torn About Schooling

mae0111

It seems like education is constantly on my mind lately.  Right now, DD1 is in a pre-K program at a local Catholic school.  She has thrived there.  She has one more year of Pre-K (she's 4.5, but misses the cutoff for K by a month).  The tuition is low.  After school care is available on site.  Our initial thought was that she would stay there through 6th grade.  But I'm realizing that resources are limited here.  They do a lot with what they have, but the building is old and small, and there is no room for expansion.  They hold music classes in what is basically a hallway.  There is no library, but they have easy access to the town's public library (100 yards from the school), which is gorgeous.  These are just a few of my logistical concerns.

The public schools in our town are fine.  Not great.  Fine.  They're very crowded, and there is no plan to address this.  The elementary school is also holding some classes in the hallway, and no library.  They have eliminated all "gifted and talented" types of programs, which were some of the best in the state.  On the plus side, the Advanced Placement scores are really strong at the high school level.  SAT and SATII scores are also good.  But there is a "bad" element at the high school level.  Heroin is a problem almost everywhere around here, even in the strongest districts and the wealthiest towns.  There is no onsite before or after school care.  I would have to drive 15 mins across town to drop the kids off, so that they could get on a bus 15 mins later and head to a school that is literally 1/4 of a mile from our house.

A third option is a private school, but I cannot justify a $30K per year pricetag for an education that is really only incrementally better. 

So, I don't know what to do.  I'd like to keep DD1 where she is through K, because it's easier for us.  But after that, I don't know how to determine the right answer.  Moving really isn't an option, after investigating many of the public schools in local towns, it didn't appear that they were any better.

How are you all thinking about education??

djm31012

I think I am confused about why you cant keep her at the catholic school? just because they go to the local library and its not in the building? the public school to me would definitely be out. i dont think the catholic school sounds like a bad option and they are usually good feeder schools into private/catholic high schools...

shannm

In your situation, I would keep her in the catholic school. The lack of a library sucks but if they regularly visit the public one, no big deal. Limited music is better than no music (at many publics) and you can supplement with lessons if you want.

Having said that, I personally would not consider our local Catholics. We send DS to a Friends school. It is a hefty price tag. One of the ways that I was helped making a decision was to actually meet kids that come out of the schools and get a feel for what is important to them and where they are going.

His school only goes up to 6th and we will have to make a new decision then, not looking forward to it. I was poking around and saw that tuition at a school many of his classmates will go to is 38k/year. Yikes!!! And I have two kids!!! Double yikes!

MommyAtty

We decided when I was pregnant with our first that we will do a non-religious private school. Since we are in Texas, and we both experienced public school life in the suburb where we live (and both ended up in Catholic HS, though neither of our families is Catholic), public school just isn't an option. Luckily, there is a fantastic non-religious public school close by. We will make whatever sacrifices we have to for our kids to attend. But the $20k per child tuition does scare the heck out of me.

mae0111

@PrivacyWanted - the standardized testing is HUGE for me.  The Catholic school doesn't adhere to the state standards, and they don't teach common core.  Common Core is starting to come into the public schools in our state, and I, personally, don't like it.  And everyone in the public schools, teachers, parents, and students, complain that teachers have to teach to the test.

But I'm afraid that I'm limiting DD a bit at the Catholic school. 

@shannm - I hear you.  I would have loved for DDs to attend the high school that I attended.  It was recently rated among the top most expensive prep schools in the country.  It was $9K a year when I graduated 20 years ago, now almost $40K.  I can't justify that price tag, especially since the quality of the college admissions has tanked in the past 5 years.  When I graduated, we had about a 15% placement in Ivies of equivalent.  It's down to about 2% now.

mae0111

Thanks for all of the responses.  It's always a tricky conversation to have with DH.  He went to a public school that was quite literally rated in the top 10 in the entire country.  It was a lower COL, and even though he's been in this area for a decade, he still gets sticker shock. 

The Catholic school limitations extend beyond the lack of library.  There's no gym, and we're in New England, so gym classes are held in weird hallways/small cafeteria.  There's no real science lab, which I think is important by 6th grade.  I'm not sure they really "level" the kids, so they're teaching to the lower end of the spectrum in the class.  Then again, I'm not sure the public schools do that, either.

My head is spinning with all this, and I'm glad I'm not the only one...

emberlee3

This is such a difficult issue for many families.  In your situation, I would probably choose the Catholic school.  

We live about a mile from a magnet elementary school, where they have daily Spanish and weekly PE, music, and art for K-4.  We entered the lottery, and fortunately, DS got a spot.  We toured it and we liked it a lot.  The school feeds to a magnet 5-12 school, also about a mile from our house.  I don't know much about that school, but one of my colleague's sons will start there in the fall.  There's also a highly regarded magnet middle school a few miles away.  That one has academic requirements for acceptance and feeds to the best high school in the city. 

So, for now we feel comfortable with the public school options here.  Comfortable enough to send DS to public kindergarten in a few months, anyway.

jf198400

In your situation id stay with the catholic school, at least for the full day kindergarten. If you're not happy you can always switch later.

But we are Catholic and having our kids get a Catholic education is very important to us. We have a great catholic school with full day kindergarten. It's actually really hard justifying our decision to other people, b/c we live in one of the best school districts in the state. But DH and I both went to catholic schools and this is important to us. It's a very personal decision.

snicksnack

I could have written this post. DD is currently in Pre-K 3 catholic school, our plan had been for her to go there though 8th but we moved. The place we moved to has great schools but supposedly the high school has a bad drug problem and is referred to as Heroin high, now all I ever hear people say is it is called that because the “rich” kids go there and can spend mommy and daddy’s money so I take the comments with a grain of salt because you can’t tell me it is not an issue at any of the other schools.
From a moral perspective I would rather my kids go to catholic school for 12 years in my experience the kids are more respectful and teachers can discipline DH and I both went for 12 years. With that being said, our elementary school is one of the best in the state so DH has talked me into trying it. I think i will be okay with them going there through elementary school and take it from there. My hope is if we are not satisfied we can send them to a catholic prep school stating in 6th grade. The prep schools have more amenities than the parish k-8 schools. The lack of resources and ultra small grade sizes is what makes me nervous with the parish school it forces them to teach to the middle vs. ability. Please don’t kid yourself if you think common core won’t happen in catholic schools I already see it. Many of the schools in our area are struggling and the government is incentivizing private schools to adopt the curriculum so it is everywhere. I read somewhere that over 50 percent of catholic dioceses have embraced common core.

Katelobster

Fwiw, I went to a Catholic K-8 school like what you're describing. It was built in the 1950s and the building hadn't changed much by the time I started in 1990. We had no playground equipment and ate lunch in the dungeon-esque basement. Some years we had music class, some we didn't.

What we did have were a lot of very committed, caring teachers and involved parents. I knew the families of the other kids in my grade well. I had a great experience there- always felt safe, always felt like I belonged.

I think those aspects of a school should be considered as well. Are you able to visit public schools and talk to patents to get a read on the atmosphere there and see how it feels compared to the Catholic school? What are the classes like, are the teachers seem enthusiastic, what do kids have to say about their classes, etc.

Good luck.

KayteeGee

I'm in a similar position, except our public schools are NOT an option. 
A magnet school MIGHT be, if he gets in... but then my concern is what happens at HS?
We live right by a preK-8 Catholic school and right now that's where DS will go.  Partially because I know it's a feeder into a "good" high school and I just do NOT have faith that any of the public HS are even tolerable (our state funds education ATROCIOUSLY and is set up where we have 1 district per county and our counties are the size of some east coast states.  It's ridiculous and ineffective in a number of ways).
We have thought about some private options instead of parochial but the cost difference is substantial and I just don't know that it's worth that much of a jump.  School is so hard.
I don't know if it's the same for you, but we also have a lot of social pressure.  It's evenly split between our friends who think we are nuts for not paying $20-30k/year for a "fancy" private and those who think we are doing the community a disservice by not putting him in the public system (the whole thing about if everyone with resources pulls out there's no way it will get better...etc...)  It's super annoying already and DS is THREE! OMG.

mae0111

@KayteeGee‌ - I don't have pressure from my friends, for a variety of reasons. Some are very happy with their public school options, others aren't, but don't have a choice. However, I get a ton of pressure from family. I don't feel that the $$$ private school option available to us is the best option. I feel like the "best option" doesn't exist. I'm just trying to find the "best we can do" option.

Meeshe

Just wanted to jump into say that we live in an area with poor/unaccredited public schools.  My DH refused to consider parochial.  We chose private and are fortunate that we can swing it (although it is a LOT of money, I try not to think about it).  But, at our school 40% of the kids receive some financial aid and I am very proud of that.  I think our school is better for it.  Our is the highest of private schools in the area but my point is that I would at least explore the option before just automatically assuming you can't afford it.  Maybe you can't, but they might have options for you.

Also, because of the poor public schools charter/magnet schools are increasingly popular and we have friends who went that route.

This is just my opinion but I really feel like early childhood is such a critical time and sets the tone for the rest of their education in that, if they aren't excited by learning and don't enjoy it early, it can really turn them off down the line.  Good luck!  None of these are easy choices.

Puppies+Rainbows+Unicorns

In your situation I would probably go with the Catholic school.  Our district has an okay elementary school (scores a 7), but the middle school is bad (scores a 2).  Our goal is to move to a better school district before middle school.  I would rather spend money on a more expensive house which can be resold than private schools which cost $20-$30k per kid per year in our area.

KayteeGee

mae0111 said:

I don't feel that the $$$ private school option available to us is the best option. I feel like the "best option" doesn't exist. I'm just trying to find the "best we can do" option.

OMG. I feel the exact same way.

mae0111

Thanks for all of the responses.  I appreciate all of the different perspectives.  

Financially, we could swing the $30K private school option.  We'd been planning on it for years.  Financial aid is available, but we wouldn't qualify.   Lately, I've been hearing from several kids and parents that the school isn't what it used to be - that the teachers don't care about the kids, they're crowding more kids in to get the tuition.  Parents talk about kids "surviving" their time there, not "thriving".

If we thought it was worth the money, we'd pay it in a heartbeat.  But in this case, it's not.  Tuition at the Catholic school is $5K a year for full time K-8.   I know she'd be able to get into any high school out of that private school, but $25K more for teachers that just seem to be going through the motions is not worth the name.

So I'm leaning toward keeping her at the Catholic school, and supplementing as much as we can, academically when it's appropriate, and with sports, music, art.  

litzo27

You already got a lot of responses so I'll just add my 2cents in.

- the logistical problems of old building, no library would not bother me. The only thing of a concern is no gym because I do believe physical activity is important so as long as they do something, even if it's gymnastics in a hallway but on a regular basis I would be ok. Also I would supplement with an organized sport activity outside of school like soccer or T-ball.

- I don't think a lab is essential in 6th grade. In general I think in elementary school it's much more important to think about student ratios, small classes, great teachers than resources. A good teacher with a good class can do magic without much fanfare.

- you can worry about HS when the time comes but for what it's worth I went to a very mixed high school. It was 4000 students of whom 1000 were bussed in from inner-city. But I took all AP classes and was in the gifted program and really was interacting only with the group of other students and the great teachers who were in these classes. Did as many of the students from my school go to Ivy league schools as from private schools and better districts. Of course not. But for those students who were really committed academically there were all the necessary resources available to excel. (and we were new immigrants so the concept of private school wasn't even on the table).