Is there a baby shower "minimum" gift?

sandrabrooke

I've been super excited for some of my friends having babies lately, and naturally, I hope to meet the baby when the mom is ready to let me.

Well, we're friends with a couple that has a one month old and I off handedly tell my husband that I hope to meet the baby soon.  My husband asks the father of the baby about it and he says that he'd be okay with us meeting the baby but his wife isn't.  The reason why: we only spent $50 on a baby shower gift!  And that we should have bought them a $200 baby gift with "our income".  

At first I thought my gift was enough, but now I'm just confused.  

EarthToChelsea

I'm not aware of any "minimum" and, quite frankly, think her response was uncalled for. Maybe I'm naive, but I'd be thankful for ANY gift at a shower--not use a monetary value to dictate who gets to meet my baby!

24karat

Sounds like you need some new friends. A gift is a gift. What an entitled brat.

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Jags8

WTAF?

sandrabrooke

my hubby and him and pretty much see each other daily.  I'm not as close, but naturally we socialize as a group.  

theholmanherd

Unbelievably tacky. This is just appalling behavior from your friend. I spent $100 each on my two best friends. Everyone else gets a smaller budget. $200? Who are you, the Gates family? Geez.

Edit:math is hard

24karat

Also, who the hell does she think she is? Seriously...it's like she's charging admission to see her kid. Or holding a bitchy grudge because she thinks she has a right to be hurt and deserves better. Or likely both.

This whole entitled mentality has me stabby. I would never expect or demand that someone spend $200 on a gift for me (or my kids) no matter how close a friend/relative or how much I think they can afford. Heck, I'm even feeling guilty that DH wants to splurge on a Mother's Day brunch date with me. In all seriousness, you're better off without a "friend" like her (and her husband too if he sees nothing wrong with this whole situation).

sandrabrooke

She treats her husband like crap too.  He basically is constantly happy go lucky and she can be demanding anything.  Drives me nuts.  

2Swanns

Wait, what? She decides who sees her child based on how much they spent on the baby gift? And not only that, she passes that onto the person who requests to meet her child? That's some bull-sheet. Did she give you the option to make up the difference so you could be so honored to meet the heir to her throne?

normandyn7

sandrabrooke said:

I've been super excited for some of my friends having babies lately, and naturally, I hope to meet the baby when the mom is ready to let me.

Well, we're friends with a couple that has a one month old and I off handedly tell my husband that I hope to meet the baby soon.  My husband asks the father of the baby about it and he says that he'd be okay with us meeting the baby but his wife isn't.  The reason why: we only spent $50 on a baby shower gift!  And that we should have bought them a $200 baby gift with "our income".  

At first I thought my gift was enough, but now I'm just confused.  

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Wine&Cupcakes

Wow. Who does that?!?

$50 is how much we usually spend for people we aren't super close with, obviously we spend more if they are better friends. Our BEST friends had a baby last week and at their shower we gave them a $175 stroller from their registry...but the husband was DH's best man at our wedding, and we are close enough with them to visit the baby in the hospital, so, really best friends. But for everyone else...$50-75.

I can't believe he actually told your DH that (seems like something to keep to yourself) and I can't believe she's sticking by it like that. I bet she's going to be a great parent with that spiteful mentality. Ugh.

ImJessesGirl

Oh my gahhh.... that is the most asinine thing I've heard in quite some time.

ArgyleBride

Wooooow.  I thought $50 was a lot, but that's seriously beside the point.  I'd ask for it back, since she is clearly displeased with it.

I am flabbergasted. 

FakeFinn

What the everloving F?! Ditch these so called friends and find ones that actually appreciate your generosity.

Briannasteve

There is absolutely no "minimum" size of a gift. Your friends are being rude! Plain and simple!!

mb314

That is the tackiest thing I have ever heard.  Any gift should be considered generous and appreciated.  At my shower, some people only gave a few onesies, and I was appreciative.  I would never consider someone's income level. 

Out of curiousity, did you receive a thank you note for the gift? 

I would definitely write that "friend" off. 

EastCoastBride

I would be nice and polite when you do see them, but I'd be extending absolutely NO effort towards maintaining a friendship with these people - at all.  You are glaringly being shown what her priorities are. 

Helenahhandbasket

This can't be real?

Depending on how close I am with the MTB-- I have spent anywhere from maybe 40-75.

If this is real, don't even bother with her anymore.

Helenahhandbasket

Also, how the hell does she know your income? 

My parents don't even know what I make. 

Empireceo

Yeah, even if you spent $5 on a gift, that shouldn't dictate whether you get to meet her baby. She's an asshole and I'd cut her out immediately.

sandrabrooke

Sadly our husbands have the same job....and her mom works in my field so I'm assuming they have an idea about how much we make. Still--what if we had tons of debt or medical bills? Or you know...maybe be selfish and go on vacation on occasion.

no thank you note yet. She was kind enough to have us preaddress the envelopes....hahahaha

CaveWmnInBrit

This poor baby has no hope- I can just see the mom pulling the whole "you owe me because you ruined my body" gig all the time!

I live in the UK where this is not a common practice at all- and I worry about how we are going to get everything together (never mind into the little house we have)...

Get new less judgmental friends- I can't imagine the conversation you would have to have if you ever got to see the baby!

ArgyleBride

sandrabrooke said:

Sadly our husbands have the same job....and her mom works in my field so I'm assuming they have an idea about how much we make. Still--what if we had tons of debt or medical bills? Or you know...maybe be selfish and go on vacation on occasion. no thank you note yet. She was kind enough to have us preaddress the envelopes....hahahaha

Charming.

sandrabrooke

You guys are wonderful.  I don't have a lot of friends, but man, she is not worth my time.  

MMason12

What a bitch!!!! Sadly I can believe it. I know a girl who on FB has does nothing but complain about her baby shower because only 3 people bought gifts off her registry. She has posted very publicly how she is selling off every item she was given for pennies on the dollar to only get things she registered for. What the hell is wrong with people now a days?!??

flcl

kjkarats03 said:

Sounds like you need some new friends. A gift is a gift. What an entitled brat.

This exactly.  Sorry to hear that your friend is being this way.  

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sandrabrooke

So my husband came home and told me that we are going to babysit for them!  (please notice the sarcasm)

Part of me is happy my husband cared enough to get me time with the baby.  Part of me is very concerned that they are taking advantage of us with free daycare and he didn't realize it.

Too bad I can't teach the baby a few things on manners...

12chachacha

sandrabrooke said:

So my husband came home and told me that we are going to babysit for them!  (please notice the sarcasm)

Part of me is happy my husband cared enough to get me time with the baby.  Part of me is very concerned that they are taking advantage of us with free daycare and he didn't realize it.

Too bad I can't teach the baby a few things on manners...

Of course. At $10/hour you owe them like 15 hours of free babysitting! 

Seriously, this is disgusting behaviour and I am appalled. Everything about this is wrong. 

fintin

Its not you responsibility to spend $200 on a baby because they decided to procreate! And I would NOT babysit but im a bitch like that haha ;-)

theholmanherd

MMason12 said:

What a bitch!!!! Sadly I can believe it. I know a girl who on FB has does nothing but complain about her baby shower because only 3 people bought gifts off her registry. She has posted very publicly how she is selling off every item she was given for pennies on the dollar to only get things she registered for. What the hell is wrong with people now a days?!??

WTAF? I would have deleted her immediately and never talked to her again. BITCH.

Edit: Highlighted the bitchiness.

tbarker14

Unbelievable! I would totally write them off... but I can understand how it might make it uncomfortable for your DH as he works with the guy.
However I would totally be civil and just not waste any time on them outside of work.
Seriously how could people be so greedy!