Thinking about taking out IUD for 2nd baby!

steph8289

So my husband and I have been talking about possibly trying out having another baby. I can say I am excited but sorta scared at the same time. I was an only child growing up. My husband was 1 or 5 kids. The more I think about it the more nervous I get. I want another baby more than anything but I start thinking about how it will affect my son who is 19 months. Any advice? I don't want him to feel any less loved and I feel like I would have to "divided' my love for him for a new baby and the last thing I want is for him to feel less important. Help! I want a baby but I don't know what to do. Mind you my son loves babies and loves holding them and talking to them but is very much attached to his mommy too.

mylittlesunshine

The nice thing about children are how resilient they are. Sure, it might be an adjustment, but he will learn to love his sibling. My girls are about 2.5 years apart (now 4 and almost 2) and they are inseparable.

I think it is pretty normal to feel that worry about dividing time. I had the same wonder/guilt when it came to having DD2. But, I think what really helped was getting DD1 involved as much as she wanted with DD2. It made her feel needed and allowed her to "bond".

I felt horribly guilty at first after having DD2 (especially since she had colic/digestive issues), but it got easier as DD2 got older and less demanding. And, the good news is, my very outspoken 4 year old has never once made any call outs about feeling neglected after DD2 was born.

Sorry for the novel, but just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone in these feelings.

steph8289

No I appreciate it so much! It helps to hear from other moms and it makes me feel better that I am not crazy for having those thoughts! Thanks

ashiscute

The way you are feeling is totally normal.  I found out I was pregnant with #2 one week before DD 1st birthday.  We were not planning it so I felt even more guilty.  I spent the majority of the pregnancy freaking out thinking I could never love the baby as much as I loved DD.  I felt horrible thinking she didn't deserve to have to share DH and I.  But once DS was born I honestly felt better immediately.  Yes I still felt guilty from time to time but seeing them together was the best.  Yes she had to adjust but she loved her brother and did great.  

Now my kids are 3 and 19 mos and are best friends and have so much fun together.  It is so much fun watching them interact and choose to do things together.  Just make sure you keep your DS involved in the baby stuff and let him "help" when he wants and don't force it when he's not interested.  Good luck!

steph8289

Thank you! Do you think it is better to have them closer together? I have heard that the closer the better but I have also heard the opposite as well. Any opinions are welcome!