I'm a step mom of a 4 year. I stepped in as his mom when he was 3. His mom hadn't been in his life since he was 3 months. His dad joined the army and then was deployed before he was a year old. He was with his grandparents until his dad got full custody over him which was last year. We brought him to Oklahoma to live as a family. He's a sweet, intelligent kid. He loves building stuff and math. He's extremely affectionate...on his terms. But I ran into a problem that's about make me go over the edge. My mom keeps telling me he's just testing but it's been almost a year and it just keeps getting worse.
The boy has took control of the household. We have to do everything on his terms. He talks back to everything we tell him. Will argue with you until you stop talking. There's no telling him something he doesn't want to do. I've tried every sort of discipline. I've tried time-outs. He sets in his room and screams until you let him out (and he can scream for a long time, we go through it during nap time). I've tried taking toys and TV privileges from him. He throws even worse tantrums that have been violent. I've tried spanking. He think its a game. I've tried the reward system. Now he thinks we owe him those things. Like when he wakes up from a nap. He'll come in the living room and say "Ummm I get my candy now" or when we're in a store "If I'm good, I get a toy. Deal?" Nothing seems to get to him. I can scream. He screams back. I can talk to him. He doesn't listen. I've tried sitting him down in his bedroom and talking to him at his level. He wont even look at me. He looks everywhere else. Or I'll have him repeat what I tell him, like "no more hitting the dog" he'll respond "I forgot" then smile. We don't want to give in to him when he acts this way but fighting everyday day with him is getting tiring. We can't even walk out the door before him. If we do he gets mad and won't leave the porch cause he "doesn't want to lose". It makes going out as a family very difficult cause we don't know when one of his meltdowns will happen.
I'm 24 years old, and I don't have any kids of my own. I do have a lot of nieces and nephews and I've never seen them act the way my son does. It's getting to a point where I want to just give up. I'm afraid it's going to start affecting my marriage. We've discussed having another one. Our family and our son wants us to. My son asks me everyday if he's getting a baby yet. But it's getting to a point that I don't think I want another one since I can't handle the one I have.