Drunk Grandma

emct88

Ok ladies I need help on how to handle this situation.

Last night DH and I went to dinner with friends and we asked my In-laws if they wanted to watch LO (11wks old). When we picked him up at 10:00 my MIL went to get him out of the PnP (sleeping) and she could barely walk!

At first I thought maybe she just tripped but as we were packing up all of his things she was slurring her speech and giggling (her usual DRUNK behavior)!

We got in the car and I asked DH if he noticed it and he said ya.

Needless to say I didn't get much sleep over this lastnight and I'm wondering how you guys would handle this or if it's ever happened to you. Do I say something? Leave it to DH to say something? Am I overreacting as a FTM?

My FIL was there too and seemed fine but works late so I'm not sure how long he had actually been there.

courtls22

You're definitely not overreacting. I would absolutely say something or have your DH say something. She should not have been drinking especially to the point of barely being able to walk when she was responsible for your baby.

Mommyof42014

Someone needs to say something to her.  If your husband won't then you should.  We have already talked about it and have decided my mom isn't allowed to baby sit for this reason.

Unknown

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slwprincess

I agree, DH needs to handle it.  It's not ok.  What if there had been an emergency and she needed to drive somewhere with him (not like an ambulance emergency but you know what I mean?) 

RondackHiker

Did you and your husband talk about it further? Does he feel it's unacceptable?

You mentioned her "usual drunk behavior". Does she often get drunk? Have you and your husband discussed it before? If he grew up with her drinking heavily it may seem like no big deal to him. That would make addressing this harder.

I would never let her babysit again.

goobermom

Not overreacting at all! If she can't even walk properly, there is no way she can take care of your baby. What if she handpicked him up and then fallen while carrying him? What if something had come up and she needed to drive somewhere? I would have DH talk to her for sure.
I also would not let her babysit again.

djtippietoes

Have your husband say something. You cannot leave your child with someone watching him who is drunk. Unacceptable.

JackieP1023

I wouldn't let her babysit again. I would also get H to talk to her. I have a similar issue with my mom-thankfully it should be an easy situation to avoid, since we typically see them only once or twice a year.

ShePersisted

I would have blown my top and would not rest till my husband gets the point and tells her how wrong she is. Also as a mother I would not hesitate to tell her off because she has jeopardized my baby by not being in her full senses while taking care of him. Holy crap what if the baby had an emergency and she had to drive him to the dr? Or worse if she had to do something like infant CPR? Would she even recognize the baby is in distress? What if she tripped with him in her arms? The thought itself makes me not want to care who she is and tell her how she has put her grandson at risk.

As @RondackHiker‌ said she would not be baby sitting for me again.

emct88

Thanks ladies! It's good to know that I'm not the only one that sees this as an issue.

DH had to leave for work really early so we didn't talk about it. He is the most nonconfrontational person on the planet so I know he will down play it.

I always knew she liked her wine and have told DH multiple times I think she is a closet wino but I never thought she would drink while watching LO!

I LOVE wine...but wouldn't drink it while caring for someone else's child!

Codypup

Is this a pattern for her? The getting drunk thing? 

I feel like you have two choices. Either say something immediately, today...or just stop letting them babysit. When and if she asks why, you can be honest. 

Either way, I would address the situation. Maybe this is just my own personal bias, but the fact that she got drunk while watching her grandson screams of a big red flag as far as alcohol is concerned. 

Prepare yourself for anger and defensiveness when the conversation occurs. Good luck...I'm sorry you're dealing with this.

mythaldo

I feel your pain. My in-laws live 2,000 miles away and they have always been the bottle-of-wine-each drinkers since I first met them. I had hoped they'd rope it in when they came to meet DD and stayed with us for a week, but they drank even more than usual it seemed! I asked DH to talk to them about it early in the trip and he kept "forgetting," until finally MIL tripped while trying to sit down with DD and I screamed out of shock. She just fell backwards on the couch and the baby was barely phased, but we didn't need to have a talk after that; MIL didn't have more than 2 glasses of wine a night the rest of the trip. Still I worry she'll have a short-term memory and I'll have to say something when we go back to visit in August.

MamaHollywood27

Her babysitting privileges are REVOKED! End of story!
This isn't a glass of wine w dinner, it sounds like a few to many

halfthetree

Wow. What if there was an emergency with your child? That's absolutely unacceptable.
I think your DH should be telling her why she will never babysit again, or drive with your child. I would never trust her if she can't hold off for the few hours she has with your child.

Mazingmommyof6

No excuses for grandma here but I am on Zoloft and Xanax since baby's birth. I have not even drank a sip of anything as I have no idea how the alcohol will have an effect with the meds. She might only be having one glass of wine and it knocks her on her ass and she doesn't realize it. Defiantly talk to her that she really seemed intoxicated.