arschm02 - question for you...

JSS1002

So, DH picked up LO at daycare today, and they told him that James bit another kid.  Sigh.  It didn't break the skin, but it was enough of an issue that they had to say something to us.  They sent a flyer home about biting, why it happens, how the center handles it, etc. I haven't fully digested it yet, but obviously I"m really concerned about this -- he has been biting a lot of THINGS lately - like the edge of the table or sofa cushions or whatever - could be teething related or just feel good or he just likes chomping on stuff, IDK.  I don't think he did it with any maliciousness or anything, but i'd like to nip this (haha) in the bud.

Any tips?

Kate_C

--butting in-- my son was a biter. The best suggestion his ped gave us was to give positive attention to the "victim" and ignore the behavior. If he's doing it for attention, you don't want to reinforce it with either positive or negative attention. If he's just biting because his gums hurt, hopefully it passes soon. Try not to be too mortified. It's just a phase for some kids, and he'll grow out of it!

MrsHartman7

Our daycare told me they start watching closely for biting at 13-15 months.  I figure inevitably its going to happen, and he will probably get a bite or two himself, I wouldnt get too worked up!

arschm02

Could be both. We have had children bite due to teething, boredom, tired, aggression, and affection. It's one of the hardest issues to address at home because often times the behavior doesn't happen at home only around other children. Like @Kate_C‌ said, give the positive attention to the victim. This is what we try to do at work. For example, if James bit at my center I would comfort the victim and follow up fairly quickly (so it's still in the moment and he doesn't forget what just happened) and say, "Owie James. No biting. That hurts." Will has not bit at daycare yet but he has bit my shoulder a time or two. When he does it I shout out "Ow! No biting." And I immediately set him on the floor. The biggest thing though is trying to catch them in the act. Eventually he'll learn. Until then try not to stress too much about it, as it is a completely age appropriate behavior. Good luck! I always feel so bad for both sets of parents in this situation. :-/

elbou

arschm02 said:

Could be both. We have had children bite due to teething, boredom, tired, aggression, and affection. It's one of the hardest issues to address at home because often times the behavior doesn't happen at home only around other children. Like @Kate_C‌ said, give the positive attention to the victim. This is what we try to do at work. For example, if James bit at my center I would comfort the victim and follow up fairly quickly (so it's still in the moment and he doesn't forget what just happened) and say, "Owie James. No biting. That hurts." Will has not bit at daycare yet but he has bit my shoulder a time or two. When he does it I shout out "Ow! No biting." And I immediately set him on the floor. The biggest thing though is trying to catch them in the act. Eventually he'll learn. Until then try not to stress too much about it, as it is a completely age appropriate behavior. Good luck! I always feel so bad for both sets of parents in this situation. :-/

I'm so glad you mentioned this. DS bit me on the shoulder twice about 10-15 mins apart a week or so ago, and that's exactly what I did. I don't remember my girls doing it, so it's nice to hear my instincts were right. In that case, I think he was hungry and was trying to get my attention so I could feed him. Silly boy played so hard, he skipped his snack!

JSS1002

Thanks all for the helpful advice.  He's really in a difficult stage right now -- didn't need this on top of it!

MsAmeera25

So what do you do when putting him down and saying no biting it hurts doesnt work? Ethan has been biting for 2 months. He usually only bites me not his dad or other kids so i'm not sure what to do.

Kate_C

MsAmeera25 said:

So what do you do when putting him down and saying no biting it hurts doesnt work? Ethan has been biting for 2 months. He usually only bites me not his dad or other kids so i'm not sure what to do.

Just keep at it... It was a long phase for us too. And I got bit more than anyone else, like you. The worst was when he would be behind me and bite me in the leg or butt. Ugh.

arschm02

Kate_C said:

So what do you do when putting him down and saying no biting it hurts doesnt work? Ethan has been biting for 2 months. He usually only bites me not his dad or other kids so i'm not sure what to do.

Just keep at it... It was a long phase for us too. And I got bit more than anyone else, like you. The worst was when he would be behind me and bite me in the leg or butt. Ugh.

This exactly. I walk away from him too so as not to give the behavior attention. Sometimes he cries. Sometimes it doesn't phase him. Keep trying.

MsAmeera25

arschm02 said:

Kate_C said:

MsAmeera25 said:

So what do you do when putting him down and saying no biting it hurts doesnt work? Ethan has been biting for 2 months. He usually only bites me not his dad or other kids so i'm not sure what to do.

Just keep at it... It was a long phase for us too. And I got bit more than anyone else, like you. The worst was when he would be behind me and bite me in the leg or butt. Ugh.

This exactly. I walk away from him too so as not to give the behavior attention. Sometimes he cries. Sometimes it doesn't phase him. Keep trying.

Okay thanks today I said gimmie kiss and I leaned in for a kiss and he pretended he was gonna kiss me and bit me instead then laughed. I told DH im going to send him to baby boarding school for biters.

JSS1002

MsAmeera25 said:

Kate_C said:

So what do you do when putting him down and saying no biting it hurts doesnt work? Ethan has been biting for 2 months. He usually only bites me not his dad or other kids so i'm not sure what to do.

Just keep at it... It was a long phase for us too. And I got bit more than anyone else, like you. The worst was when he would be behind me and bite me in the leg or butt. Ugh.

This exactly. I walk away from him too so as not to give the behavior attention. Sometimes he cries. Sometimes it doesn't phase him. Keep trying.

Okay thanks today I said gimmie kiss and I leaned in for a kiss and he pretended he was gonna kiss me and bit me instead then laughed. I told DH im going to send him to baby boarding school for biters.

ooooooh that would make me so mad.

MsAmeera25

JSS1002 said:

MsAmeera25 said:

Kate_C said:

So what do you do when putting him down and saying no biting it hurts doesnt work? Ethan has been biting for 2 months. He usually only bites me not his dad or other kids so i'm not sure what to do.

Just keep at it... It was a long phase for us too. And I got bit more than anyone else, like you. The worst was when he would be behind me and bite me in the leg or butt. Ugh.

This exactly. I walk away from him too so as not to give the behavior attention. Sometimes he cries. Sometimes it doesn't phase him. Keep trying.

Okay thanks today I said gimmie kiss and I leaned in for a kiss and he pretended he was gonna kiss me and bit me instead then laughed. I told DH im going to send him to baby boarding school for biters.

ooooooh that would make me so mad.

I know, he is such a sour patch kid.