Finding a match

CaringCat

Hello Ladies - 

We have decided on a clinic and think we've decided on a donor but I am freaking out and can't commit! For those of you who have gone through the process, what about the donor was most important to you? Are there particular traits that make someone a better match (i.e. face shape over hair color, etc). This is way more difficult than I thought. Our consult is tomorrow and we will likely begin the cycle in June!!! Thanks for the help! :P

liz4paws

Congrats on deciding on a clinic! What type of donor are you looking for (egg/embryo/sperm)? There are people here using all of these and may be able to share their experiences.

And good luck in June!

ksgsmu

Health and family  health history was my biggest priority!  After that I just wanted someone who had my basic coloring and body build.  You will never find your clone... it is hard to mentally overcome that this person can't replace you. 

Good luck- I know it is hard!

2MamazInSeattle

For us it was about gamily health, intelligence and mostly that we felt she was kind of "our people" - that is, that we'd like her if we met her, that her personality would jive with ours...since the impact of nature/nurture I think varies in each of us, we thought thus way in case she was "all nature" so to speak. Good luck, its not easy stuff.

one last thing, our donor wasn't our first choice...she was kind of "no reason why not" - well, once we exchanged a few anonymous letters, it was clear she was 100% perfect! Sometimes things just kind of work out.

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brooklynesque

We picked a donor who didn't look SO different from me that it would be obvious there were genes in there other than my husband's and mine.  The one we ultimately went with actually doesn't look a great deal like me, though she's fair and I am too, and we are a very similar height and weight.  What we LOVED about her were her long, thoughtful, self-aware answers to her profile questions, as well as her very interesting educational and work endeavors.  And she radiated warmth and intelligence in her photos.  I knew that I could be proud of a kid that took after her.

CaringCat

I loved reading all your replies! You've given me a lot to think about so thank you for the input. I'll likely be using donor eggs although now we're talking about trying one more time with mine before pursuing DE... I know I'll be happy with any outcome in the long run.

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pmv81

We are hoping for our first cycle with DS in June & we are making our final decision on the DS in the next couple of days! It's not an easy choice but I do think we feel we have clicked with 1 or 2 over any other. First starting with physical characteristics as close to my DH as possible and matching sure family history looks good...then we just felt we connected with 2 of the profiles more than others based on their answers. Good Luck in June!