Third-Party Reproduction

Finding a match

Hello Ladies - 
We have decided on a clinic and think we've decided on a donor but I am freaking out and can't commit! For those of you who have gone through the process, what about the donor was most important to you? Are there particular traits that make someone a better match (i.e. face shape over hair color, etc). This is way more difficult than I thought. Our consult is tomorrow and we will likely begin the cycle in June!!! Thanks for the help! :P
"Will you be my Valentine?" 2/14/2004 "Will you marry me?" 7/4/2008 "Wanna get a cat?" 7/4/2010 TTC #1 since 2/2011 Me: 28 DH: 29 2 Cycles Femera, 4 IUIs, IVF#1 (BNF), IVF#2 (BFN).


Re: Finding a match

  • Congrats on deciding on a clinic! What type of donor are you looking for (egg/embryo/sperm)? There are people here using all of these and may be able to share their experiences.

    And good luck in June!

    ************ Signature/Ticker Warning ************
    Me (32) DH (36) - Finding our way to baby #1
    Me: POF/DOR - AMH <0.16, heterozygous c677t MTHFR, insulin resistant and gluten intolerant
    DH: Severe MFI

    12/2/11 - IUI #1- BFN 
    8/1/12 - IVF #1 - Zero response from max stims (600iu intramuscularly)

    My ovaries are just for decoration

    12/6/12 - Adopted five embryos that had been frozen for over ten years!
    2/11/13 - DEmbryo FET #1 Thawed four, sadly two didn't survive. Transferred two beautiful blasts. 
    2/16/13 - First BFP of my life @ 6dp5dt! EDD 10/30/13
    3/27/13 - After beta and u/s hell, no heartbeat ever detected. D&C at 9w1d.

    6/5/13 - Adopted four new embryos that had been frozen for seven years!
    9/12/13 - DEmbryo FET #2. Thawed and transferred two beautiful blasts
    9/17/13 - BFP @ 5dp6dt! EDD 05/31/14
    9/29/13 - m/c @ 5w1d. :(

    11/19/13 - DEmbryo FET #3. Thawed and transferred one blast from each batch. Wow!
    11/23/13 - BFP @ 4dp6dt! EDD 8/7/13
    Beta #1 @ 13dp6dt - 522  Beta #2 @ 16dp6dt - 1373 
    6w5d ultrasound showed one perfect baby with a beautiful heartbeat of 134bpm!

    Snowflake baby is a girl! 
    Our beautiful Snowflake girl arrived on July 22, 2014!   
    My embryo adoption blog: Wishing on a Snowflake
        image      image 
  • ksgsmuksgsmu member
    Health and family  health history was my biggest priority!  After that I just wanted someone who had my basic coloring and body build.  You will never find your clone... it is hard to mentally overcome that this person can't replace you. 

    Good luck- I know it is hard!
    ***siggy/ticker warning***

    Me:36 DH:38 TTC#1 since 4/2012
    Me DX: Hashimotos,Hypothyroid, DOR, MTHFR,  DH: normal

     IUI #1-#4 BFNs and a few cancelled cycles in the mix.
    - poor responder
    ***Suprise BFP on 6/13/13. Natural MC @6wks 3days
    IVF#1 and 2- Cancelled due to no response on max stimms
    FET 5/20- BFP
    1st Beta- 641
    2nd beta- 2166
    Sono- TWINS!!!!
    Two Boys! Born January 2015 @36 weeks.  Healthy and no NICU!  So blessed!


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  • For us it was about gamily health, intelligence and mostly that we felt she was kind of "our people" - that is, that we'd like her if we met her, that her personality would jive with ours...since the impact of nature/nurture I think varies in each of us, we thought thus way in case she was "all nature" so to speak. Good luck, its not easy stuff.

    one last thing, our donor wasn't our first choice...she was kind of "no reason why not" - well, once we exchanged a few anonymous letters, it was clear she was 100% perfect! Sometimes things just kind of work out.
    Lil'mamaz was born on Aug 21, 2014! She's PERFECT!

    It's been a long road to here...
    Me (43) and J (45) - same sex couple. And we don't feel 40+!
    June'12 - First RE Visit
    Sept. '12 - Tubes removed
    Dec. '12 - Donor Egg/Donor Sperm IVF Cycle - 4 good embies!
    Dec. '12 - Fresh transfer, BFP! EDD 8/29/13
    Mar. '13 - Missed m/c at 16w1d, baby boy stopped growing at 15w4d
    Loss due to umbilical cord was perfect. :(
    Jul '13 - FET#1 - c/p
    Sept. '13 - FET#2 - BFN
    Dec.' 2, 2013 - FET#3 with our last chance embie - BFP!!!
    Dec' 26, 2013 - hb!!
    EDD 8/20/14 with a baby girl!
    Little S was born on 8/21/14 - 8lb, 14 oz and 20 inches long.
    We live in Seattle and used SRM for our donor egg IVF cycle


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  • We picked a donor who didn't look SO different from me that it would be obvious there were genes in there other than my husband's and mine.  The one we ultimately went with actually doesn't look a great deal like me, though she's fair and I am too, and we are a very similar height and weight.  What we LOVED about her were her long, thoughtful, self-aware answers to her profile questions, as well as her very interesting educational and work endeavors.  And she radiated warmth and intelligence in her photos.  I knew that I could be proud of a kid that took after her.
  • I loved reading all your replies! You've given me a lot to think about so thank you for the input. I'll likely be using donor eggs although now we're talking about trying one more time with mine before pursuing DE... I know I'll be happy with any outcome in the long run. :)
    "Will you be my Valentine?" 2/14/2004 "Will you marry me?" 7/4/2008 "Wanna get a cat?" 7/4/2010 TTC #1 since 2/2011 Me: 28 DH: 29 2 Cycles Femera, 4 IUIs, IVF#1 (BNF), IVF#2 (BFN).


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  • pmv81pmv81 member
    We are hoping for our first cycle with DS in June & we are making our final decision on the DS in the next couple of days! It's not an easy choice but I do think we feel we have clicked with 1 or 2 over any other. First starting with physical characteristics as close to my DH as possible and matching sure family history looks good...then we just felt we connected with 2 of the profiles more than others based on their answers. Good Luck in June! 
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