Wtf Wednesday!

20thirteen

It is Wednesday, right? I don't even know! I have not been able to sleep since Sunday night and the only time I was able to make an appointment with my doc is on Friday. I have this hacking cough and terrible post nasal drip that is not helping the cough. I also have pretty bad pain in my sinuses and coughing makes it so much worse. My BF and I were talking last night and he was like "I'm developing a cough too, like there is a tickle in my throat and I just can't stop coughing." Cute. No, my cough is an attempt to clear my airway. When I lay down at night, I am wheezing and I hear noises that come from my lungs. It's awful! I have to call the doc today and see if maybe I can see someone else in the office sooner. I really hope this isn't what I think it is (bronchitis). Booooooooo!!!!

MinnesotaMomma91

My son needs to stop bitong me, its not cute and it hurts cause its broken the skin a couple times. Anf i get it hes teething but the biting has to stop and im at wits end with it.

Also people are giving me shit about my hair, my dad, sister, and a few irl friends. Ive now been told i look like a boy from behind several times and asking why i would cut off all my femminity. I know bf hates it he has a long hair fetish but at least hes smart enough to lie

tig594

I hope you feel better soon, @roxalot.  It sucks to be sick!

MM, don't listen to them.  Only certain women can really pull off short hair and I think yours is cute.  Short hair on the right woman makes her look very feminine.  Also, they aren't the ones who have to go to school and take care of a baby so who cares what they think.  If it works for you that's all that matters!  I had my hair cut that short for over 10 years.  It's SO easy to take care of and I loved it.  Besides, the last I knew our femininity was mostly in our pants and bras.  

20thirteen

Yeah, I know I look like a little boy with my hair because I don't style it, but fuck it. I can make it feminine when I want and anyone else who doesn't like my hair, I'll gladly place DD in their arms and laugh when she grabs hold of their hair and yanks as hard as she can.

MinnesotaMomma91

Also they arent the ones having sex with me. And *cough* there have been a few women in history to rock a pixie and be feminine. Im thinking of mia farrow, audrey hepburn, and twiggy. And lets talk about all the women in pop culture today who are or have rocked the pixie cut? Ginnifer goodwin(once upon a time) emma watson, michelle williams, and jennifer lawrence.

Plus bitches be jealous im not rocking the same boring hair as every otger fucking female in cosmetology school

jellybean529

In the past month, BD asked to talk to DD two times. That's it. TWICE. Once while we were at a carnival in the middle of the day on a Saturday, and this past Saturday while DD was at a birthday party. Both times she wasn't able to talk (obviously because she was busy with her activities.) 

He came to see her for three days at Easter, spent the majority of that time either texting or sleeping, and called or texted to ask to talk to her only twice, in the entire month of April.

I was thinking about this the other day and it just broke my heart. I can't imagine how DD must feel when her cousins (who live with us) dad calls them every night (when he lives a mile away and has them every other week!) to talk to them and her dad doesn't bother. She had been asking to talk to him at the beginning of the month but she's stopped. 

I'm trying so hard to make peace with it but it makes me so angry. He likes to talk about how "important" he is at work but he's neglected his most important job of all.

MinnesotaMomma91

Im sorry @jellybean529 my heart hurts for your daughter. Is there anyway to get a schedule set up for when he talks to dd?

MinnesotaMomma91

@Mamaunicorn your stbxh must be a stupid sort of stupid. I have a gif for that. It might work for your stbx also @jellyjean529

jellybean529

@mamaunicorn and @minnesotamomma91 ah. Long story. Basically, after DD and I moved to Florida, we planned that STBXH would call nightly before bed and ask to talk to her. For the first month or so she would flat out refuse to talk to him because she was PISSED OFF at the world because of all the changes/turmoil, but he still kept trying every night and I still tried to encourage her. Then once he started his job in LA, he started calling after her bedtime (like 9:30-9:45 at night) so either she would be talking to him super late or just not at all.

After XH's first visit with DD after the move, she actually changed her tune and wanted to talk. And right around that time was when he stopped calling every night. For awhile, I tried to keep it up and would call him if he didn't call, but that was just one more thing to do on top of the other zillion things I have to do to get her ready for bed, get things ready for school the next day, etc. so I just started asking her if she wanted to talk and if she said no, I didn't push it.

Things continued like that for awhile, occasionally she'd say yes, she wanted to call him, or he would ask me if he could call. And that was fine. It was hectic but it was fine.

Then after this last visit I could see how totally checked out he was...on his phone texting the whole time, falling asleep in the middle of playing board games with her, falling asleep while she watched a movie on TV, etc...and then had the audacity to tell me that because of his job and school he "works just as hard as I do being a single parent" so clearly he has no idea anymore what it means to be a parent anymore. 

Last week he was on spring break from school (he takes classes online) which meant ALL he had to do was go to work and then he was free from 5pm on. Didn't hear from him all week.

So, I'm done being the facilitator. If DD asks to call him I will (or if she says she misses him or something like that I always offer to call him for her). If he calls, I'll ask her to come to the phone. But it really shouldn't be my responsibility to force it. He's a grown man, he can step up to the plate. 

That's a long way of answering the "could there be a schedule" question. TL;DR, there was one but he just kinda let it lapse.

20thirteen

I feel so sad for your daughter. And mad at your STBXH for that nonsense about working just as hard. That's bullshit. He's not parenting at all on top of school and work. Calling and saying hi is not parenting, but it lets her know he's at least thinking about her. To just check out of that routine is just so sad and stupid on his part. He's missing out on a human being that he helped create, and he can't even be bothered to say hi. What a prick.


And goddamnit Siri, stop autocorrecting "prick" to "price"!

jellybean529

Roxalot said:

I feel so sad for your daughter. And mad at your STBXH for that nonsense about working just as hard. That's bullshit. He's not parenting at all on top of school and work. Calling and saying hi is not parenting, but it lets her know he's at least thinking about her. To just check out of that routine is just so sad and stupid on his part. He's missing out on a human being that he helped create, and he can't even be bothered to say hi. What a prick. And goddamnit Siri, stop autocorrecting "prick" to "price"!

My point exactly.

And yes. He may work long hours at the office and he may have a lot of homework to do...but, I also work full time, and in addition to that, I also have my own business I run in my "free time" (and as you may imagine, since we split up that business has taken a severe hit) AND I parent our child. Alone. When you are a parent THERE IS NO BREAK. It takes precedence above all else but he's too much of an ass to remember that.

ETA during the visit before his visit at Easter, since he stays at our place and sleeps on the couch, DD often still comes to me for things she needs...so one morning she was asking me for breakfast/juice/something and he's sitting on the couch, messing around on his phone, and actually says to her, "Just leave Mommy alone!"

Umm dude, put down your phone, get off your ass and help her with what she needs! That's the kinda stuff that goes on. I think we need new visiting arrangements.

jellybean529

And @roxalot I hope you feel better soon. I've had the plague like that before and it is THE WORST.

MinnesotaMomma91

@Jellybean529 im sorry thats fucked. Your poor dd, i hope he relizes that all he is doing is driving your daughter away.

Annnd i just got a text from sm, bd is trying to get full custody of their children.


He is such a dip shit poor a.

20thirteen

Oh wow. Fuck. That.  Are you serious?  Didn't he just have an episode wherein he attacked his newest gf?  Is there a police report for that?  Could SM use that against him in the custody battle?

MinnesotaMomma91

Yup, he just got out of jail for domestic violence. Hes been discharged from the army already. Shes been giving her lawyer all this information. Unfortunatley in oregon a has to prove hes put the kids in danger in order to keep him from having custody. She doesnt know if she can prove anything like that. But she might be able to get it he can only be able to see the kids through child welfare or court supervised visitations

20thirteen

Well, lets hope he only gets supervised visits!

MinnesotaMomma91

*Fingers crossed*

jellybean529

Haha. XH just asked me why he never hears from us at night anymore. I told him it's because he doesn't call.

20thirteen

I hope he took the hint.

jellybean529

He did. He says he's going to call every night. I'm interested to see how long he keeps it up.

MinnesotaMomma91

Hope he keeps it up for dd sake

jellybean529

@minnesotamomma91 I do too, I honestly do. 

laurstarx

Fucking sperm donor said he will quit his job so i get no money if I file for child support. He also still has been denying that LO is his but makes it clear to me that he knows she's his.

20thirteen

My coworker just told me she's getting money out of her BD's unemployment checks. So... If that's the route he wants to take...

MinnesotaMomma91

Also, it doesnt matter if hes unemployed that shot accrews and hell wind up paying back child support.

My aunts ex husband is still paying back child support and my cousins are in their thirties

jellybean529

laurstarx. But the PP is right too...he can either pay now and keep his job, or pay back child support...or lose his drivers license and/or go to jail.

laurstarx

Thanks everyone. I'll be taking his dead beat lying scumbag piece of shit ass to court regardless.