Late Term and Child Loss

oh, Facebook

If one more of my "friends" announces that they're pregnant on fb I'm going to lose my mind. Seriously, I have seen more 10 week ultrasounds in the last two months than I ever care to. I know I'm just in a really bad space right now and this too shall pass but I can't find it in me to be happy for them. It doesn't help that none of them have acknowledged either of my losses. Time to cut ties I think.
Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers


Re: oh, Facebook

  • A lot of people I know got off of FB after their loss, or took a break.  I'm not on FB at all (and never have been), and I think the healing process is a bit easier on me for it.  For those who have not acknowledged your loss, screw them.  I know that sounds harsh, but seriously - you  need support.  You really do find out who your true friends are right now. 
  • I know what you mean.  I've actually been on a FB break since New Year's...I thought it would be really hard and I was really resistant to it, but I can't tell you how much stress and drama it has taken out of my ilfe.  I was really bitter everytime I saw an announcement. 

    I think there is an extra sting to it when you've had a late loss because it's like they are proclaiming to be out of the "danger zone". 

    sorry you are having a rough time.  ((hugs))

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    8/12-Suprise BFP- Sweet Bunny Born Sleeping 11/21/12 (19 weeks)

    -5/7/13- MMC (8 Weeks)

    11/6/13- BO discovered at 7 weeks- natural MC 11/25/13

    8/14- Surpise IF dx...low AMH (.24)- moving on to IVF

    IVF #1- 11/14- 6R5M4F=2 perfect frosties

    12/19/14- FET of 2 embabies = BFP!!!  One Little Bean EDD: 9/3/15

    Everyone Welcome.

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  • Ughhhh I hear ya! It is driving me crazy! That and newborn pictures!
  • I felt this way after losing baby gary, too. It didn't get better until I became pregnant withAubrey. Since we're not planning to get pregnant again ever I wonder how long it will last...
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers


  • I defriended a lot of people...not because of preg announcements but the fact they never acknowledged my loss

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    BFP# 1 7/7/12 Beautiful DD born still at 36 weeks 5 days on 3/2/13
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  • After our loss I went on a FB "cleanse". I deleted people left and right. If I didnt think they would support us or truly care for us, I deleted them. Sure cleaned up my feed. ;-)
    Lilypie - (qptF)

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    "Elsie Irene was born sleeping at 35w 6d on December 8, 2012. Mommy and Daddy miss you sweet girl."

  • I have hidden friends who have had babies since Ben's death, boys are especially difficult. My best friend is due with her daughter next week. I'm hoping that seeing pictures (we live a few states apart) won't be so hard then).
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  • I unfriended anyone who was pregnant, had a baby, or might be announcing a pregnancy and it has helped. I like using FB for out of town family and friends so I haven't cut it off all together but I seriously cut out a bunch of people.

    And to second what marylaurena said, I can not stand when everyone acts like getting through first tri is the hard part! I know I did it too, and they are just ignorant and naive, but it. Drives. Me. Crazy.

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    Me: 32 DH: 33  High School Sweethearts  Married 5/28/2005
    DS1 born 6/5/10 at 40 weeks via emergency c-section due to fetal distress and IUGR caused by placental insufficiency
    DS2 born still 8/28/13 at 32 weeks via emergency c-section due to a complete placental abruption - cause unknown
    Baby #3 on the way, EDD 2/29/16.  Originally twins, but we said goodbye to Baby B at 8 weeks.
    schulme2[Deleted User]mingaling2shandorfml2
  • I've hidden people that tend to post baby pics or are expecting - it's not fool proof but helps me a bit- I've also not been active on FB either since losing Joseph so I've done this only when I browse randomly but try to stay off it xo
  • LyndseyTSLyndseyTS member
    edited April 2014
    This is really difficult for me to. I had one day where it was just a after the other. It really does feel like FB is out to get you sometimes. Hiding people is also helpful. The newborn pics from a good friend were really tough. I get that they wanted to send them so that we didn't find out from someone else, but it just ruined me for awhile. I also find it helpful to like pages for others "like us". That way at least there is some sort of "balance" on my news feed if I do run into a newborn picture or pregnancy announcement.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • JessicaG220JessicaG220 member
    edited April 2014

    Ugh I'm so sorry you're struggling with FB. I deleted my account for this exact reason. The constant reminders were too hard for me to deal with. Sending you hugs.

    Ava's Story
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    BFP#2 10/18/13  Blighted ovum 11/25/13

    BFP #3 1/31/14 EDD 10/18/14 -- It's a GIRL!

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  • ***TICKER***

    I STILL get that pit in my stomach when I see a new pregnancy announcement. I think that will always be a knee-jerk reaction for me that will never go away. I still hide pregnant women, too.

    I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. I think the people you'd get rid of weren't worth keeping around anyway. <3


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  • Same here.  I have unfollowed friends who are pregnant or who have just had babies.  That has helped, but it's definitely not fool proof and there have been a few things here and there that get to me.  Hugs. 
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  • *handing lrichmond86 the scissors* Cut 'em! Sign me up for doing the FB cleanse after our loss--I got rid of a lot of people. I also have hidden everyone who: is pregnant, might be pregnant, has a baby under 1, just got married, etc... It takes almost no time at all to catch up on FB these days. ;)

    TTC since 10/2010
    IUIs # 1-5 = BFFN
    IVF # 1(July 2012) = BFN
    IVF # 2 (November 2012) = BFP (MIssed MC D&C @ 8w3d on 1/10/13)
    IVF # 3 (June 2013) = BFN 
    IVF # 4 (September 2013) = BFP Fraternal twin boys! (Loss at 21w6d due to IC on 1/26/14...devastated.)
    3/21/14--TAC (transabdominal cerclage) w/Dr. Davis in NJ
    IVF # 5 (May 2014) = BFN
    FET (August 2014) = BFN

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • FB strikes again!  I just opened my feed to a beautiful newborn picture and ten tons of congratulations.  It was a guy who rarely posts, so I didn't know that his wife and he were expecting.  Just how I wanted to start my Saturday. 
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  • I'm sorry @gracie5107. I opened mine yesterday evening and found out that a friend of mine is expecting and her EDD is two days after Serenity's. With tons and tons of congrats as well.That hit pretty hard. I hope that it hasn't ruined your whole day. ((hugs))
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • @lyndseyts I'm sorry that happened to you too!  It didn't ruin my whole day, just an unhappy reminder in the am.  I hope your day wasn't ruined either.  Hugs.   
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  • I have also found that fb can be problematic. Following Fiona's passing, I unfollowed the few friends that I knew were expecting. For some reason, babies that were born before we lost Fiona don't bother me. But, for me, it felt better to unfollow rather than unfriend. That way, I can look at pics if I want but they are not in my face. In the end, do what makes you comfortable. I agree with whomever said that if you are thinking of unfriending them, then you probably don't need them anyway.
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