"Perfect" Family

Linz-E

We found out were having a boy last week and did a gender reveal this past weekend. I always saw our family with all girls and I think most people did too. I keep getting all these comments like "Oh now you'll have the perfect family" or "One of each how perfect." Maybe Im being too sensitive but it kind of pisses me off and make me uncomfortable. I keep responding with things like "Oh well I think every family is perfect" but I don't know if Im being too defensive. This last year has been really hard not knowing if we would ever even get to have another child so I think thats why. Would our family be less perfect if DD was an only? Would you just smile and say thanks?

emmylu30

Since this will be a second boy I get a ton of "Are you going to try for a girl?" questions.  I don't understand why people think you have to have a child of each sex to have a perfect family and it annoys me also.  I would have loved to have a little girl but I also love that my boys with be brothers and that is my "perfect family".

JustCricket

People just need to shut up and butt out about this. They gave my mom shit after they got pg with #3 (had one boy and one girl already) and heard a lot of "oh no, no longer the perfect family, was he an accident?" How rude is it to ask if a child is an accident!? I'm going to post my favorite photo whenever this topic comes up.

biokitty42

I hate that kind of thing.  We are going to have two girls, which I am beyond happy with.  Before we told everyone we were having another girl, so many people, especially DH's family, told us how much they hoped we had a boy, over and over again.  It was so annoying.

MrsLaLaBug

I agree, people get weird about it.  idk if it stems from peoples' own envy or just a stereotype.  Regardless, it's dumb.

rlyttle

Yeah people say weird things. We too will (fingers crossed) have a boy & a girl. A cat & a dog. A teacher & a banker. A white picket fence. 2 story corner house. I mean we are the definition of PERFECT HELLO PEOPLE!!! 

Obviously nobody is perfect, but yes I see my family and my life as pretty great. I wouldn't change it for the world, even if I had 2 boys, or two girls. We are blessed. period. 

When people say those things I usually say something like "yeah, we are pretty shocked/excited". Most people don't know we went through 2 MCs last year, we both have been let go from our jobs at one point, we feel guilty that both of us work & send our kids to daycare all day, ect. Every family is perfect in it's own way and has it's one little flaws. I love my "perfect" family though  

:x

Ceridwen21

We got a few "million dollar family" comments from older folks when they found out that DD will be following our DS.  I just smiled and said thank you.  I don't think they mean any harm (to others) by it.

ConversationFear

I don't think most people think about what they are saying before they speak. Obviously, had it been a girl, they wouldn't have said things like, "What a tragedy - 2 girls!" but they definitely imply that with their comment about the baby being a boy, unintentionally, of course.

I get a lot of weird disappointing sighs when I tell people I am having a boy, usually followed by, "Are you ok with that or did you want a girl?" like there is a rule that all women must want only girls. I don't think they mean ill, they just aren't realizing how ridiculous they sound when they say crap like that. No one ever probably said it to them when they were pregnant.

Linz-E

MermaidsMagic said:

I told an older friend I was having a boy. Her response was "Now, you'll really know what it's like to be a mom." Oh, I'm sorry that I've been just pretending for the last two years. Of course we're getting the "Great! Now you can stop!" comments. Or, how about having once of each isn't what everyone wants and shut up about it?

Wow  :-?

Linz-E

@JustCricket that is so true!

kleigh926

We're having a boy (already have a girl) and I have gotten TONS of comments about how nice it will be to have one of each, and now we'll have the "million dollar family." Honestly, it doesn't bother me that much because I have always wanted at least one of each, and I'm really happy that I'll get to experience mothering both a girl and a boy.

However, if I were having another girl and got any negative comments about it not being a boy, that would irritate me. We would've been happy with either sex, and in some ways it would've been nicer to have another girl (I could reuse DD's clothes, for one thing).

CplusJ=S

I have a daughter and this baby is a boy. I keep getting those comments and I reply with, "Actually, I was hoping for another girl". They are usually dumbfounded, but I don't care. It's rude to presume those things. Even though I was hoping for a sister for my daughter, we are excited to be welcoming a boy into our family, but they don't need to know that.

Soogerplum

I am thrilled to be having another girl. I would have loved a boy the same but the idea of my DD growing up with a sister just makes me so happy...and she wanted a sister so badly. People just assume that families need 'one of each' and that's just silly. I am over the moon to have my girls!

cmumama

I hate that phrase.  My family is no less perfect b/c I don't have any girls.  I have gotten pity from random strangers for not having a daughter. 

I'm with Grace - I've started being very open about how hurtful comments like that can be.

Djcieply

Ive gotten both comments, most of the time they come from our older relatives. DH's grandpa is very "you have to carry on the family name" oriented, which annoys the crap out of me coming from an all girl family. Hes said that we need to have another boy so DS has a brother to play with, "Sorry dude its not my decision!" Evidently he doesnt think brothers and sisters can play together. My Aunt on the other hand has said "I bet you hope its a girl?" I just respond to both of them as long as they are healthy and happy I dont care what we have, that kind of shuts them up.

I dont get why people think they can say whatever they want to pregnant women, its pretty annoying. 

BethanyAnn27

As a FTM, I am shocked at how many people are asking which sex we are "hoping for".  I'm not sure how many ways I can say "we don't care as long as it is a healthy baby". These other comments that you ladies have been faced with are just appalling. Really, what does the baby's sex matter? A family is perfect if it is happy and safe. And those perfect families come in all shapes and sizes.

jmarshall

I would just smile and say thanks.  I already have 2 boys and I am currently expecting twins, so I get lots of comment, too.  When I do get  comment that doesn't sit well with me, I just try to keep in mind that the majority of people out there are not mean spirited and generally want the best for others and their comment is either coming from their own past experiences, jealously, or lack of education. 

Mrs.Leah.Maria

JustCricket said:

People just need to shut up and butt out about this. They gave my mom shit after they got pg with #3 (had one boy and one girl already) and heard a lot of "oh no, no longer the perfect family, was he an accident?" How rude is it to ask if a child is an accident!? I'm going to post my favorite photo whenever this topic comes up.

I am in love with this. IN.FREAKING.LOVE

whataboutscience

I really do hope to have at least one boy and girl, but I also want a larger family (4 or 5 kids) so I feel like we have a good chance of having at least one of each. These comments wouldn't bother me because I know that's just what other people think is "perfect", plus it is what I'm hoping for. If you are happy with all boys or girls, that's great for you. I think some people just don't get that. I wouldn't say something like the comments mentioned, but I might ask a friend if they were hoping for a certain sex.