Experience with PPD?

DCKate

My SIL had her first baby about 3.5 weeks ago. She's an unpleasant and cold person (not really to me) a lot of the time. I knew having a baby might make it worse, with an unplanned c-secrion, lack of sleep, difficulty breast feeding. That said, I think she is exhibiting signs of PPD.

My MIL has been there for a whole month to help out. I went over yesterday and asked how things were going, and wanted to give her an opportunity to vent a little. Because you know what? Sometimes it's not all puppies and rainbows in the beginning, when you're exhausted and in a lot of pain.

She basically shoved my niece at me and said she's over the lack of sleep. She said, 'I mean, I love her, but I'm not in love with her.' My niece had been fussy until she handed her to me. She's not very warm or affectionate, and had been holding the baby away from her body. I held her close to me and she fell right to sleep. SIL made a comment about how annoying it was that she fell asleep with someone else and went to pay down to nap.

I remember being tired and sore and so exhausted. My baby blues lasted almost 6 weeks, and I definitely checked in with my OB about what I was feeling. I am very, very empathetic to SIL and how's she feeling.

That said, does any of what she said/did send up red flags? Did any of you have PPD? Just looking for advice, thanks!

Jessie333

Ya. Most of that has been a huge red flag. I really think she needs to talk to someone. Do you have a relationship with her where you can talk to her about that kind of thing? If not, could you talk to her husband or mom about getting her help?

DCKate

Ok, I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought her behavior was off. I think she would be very angry at me if I approached her about it. My DH is a doc, and he's thinking about talking to her husband about it this week. It's his sister but we get along pretty well. I feel like if I said something to her, she would be hostile and I don't want to lose my relationship with her.

ReeceFamily

I don't think your SIL has PPD...it sounds like she was depressed to begin with (I don't think many happy people are unpleasant and cold) and may not really have the emotional resources to deal with a newborn.  I really hope, for the baby's sake at least, that she is open to getting some help.  It's really wonderful that you are there for them!

DCKate

She definitely suffers from depression but doesn't believe in mental illness. It's a cultural thing, and it's very annoying.

jobiann

Hmmm, she definitely is exhibiting signs of either depression or PPD. I think you should speak to her, it's better to offer to help then for something to happen where she just flips out one day and takes it out on her baby. Shaken baby syndrome happens a lot more then we think and it is often by smart, reliable parents who simply are at their wits end and were not willing to ask for help. 

Mommyhood is hard, even the BEST mother's have their moments. I had those moments, that is when I would just hand DS off to DH or my Mom or who ever was there. But if she doesn't admit she needs the help, if she doesn't accept help...she may not be able to keep it together.