XP: I have a runner. Any advice?

eyenigh

My son is almost 26 months old and wants to run as soon as his feet hit the ground, no matter where we are. He has always been this way since he could walk but now that he's getting older, he hates the stroller ("No stroller, I walk!") and has become increasingly defiant when it comes to holding hands. Before we set off anywhere, I get down to his level and explain that we have to hold hands and that he needs to walk and stay by us so he's safe. He'll usually start out strong and walk nicely for the first minute or so but then all bets are off. I get that he's a toddler with boundless energy, he wants to explore and, on top of that, is in the pushing boundaries stage, but now that he's a little bit older and can understand things a bit, I'm trying to let him know up front that he has to walk and hold hands, if he doesn't do those things then there are consequences (like we'll leave where we are, he'll have to ride in a stroller, etc.). We're trying to be patient and consistent as we roll through the tantrums that obviously follow this behavior.

Does anyone that has been through this have any advice about what has worked for them or do I keep doing what I'm doing and wait for the phase to pass? If you had a runner, around what age did it finally start to subside?

JackoftheBox

I have a runner as well so i will be lurking for answers. He also likes to jump a lot and if he doesn't want to go he will fall "dead" and just refuse to move... it's lovely.

Helenahhandbasket

No advice-- lurking as well because you described DD to a T!

We have tried the harness, but she goes bananas when I put it on her.

bloverde

I'm all about the harness. People an get angry about it all they want. But given the choice between judgey stares from strangers and a dead toddler in the street, I think you know my choice.

Ok, that was extreme. But he's done stupid things when he runs away from me.

kristennd

We used a harness until we felt confident that he wouldn't bolt.

We also try to make time to hit a park or playground before whatever errand and let him run most of it out of his system.

Shabutie

I second letting him "get it out of his system". Let him run his little heart out in designated areas and he would hopefully not feel the need to bolt when you need him to stay by you.
Mine doesn't walk independently yet so I'm just speculating. I am also taking reference from my experience in dog training lol.......

KS02CS08

I'm the opposite way my almost 2 year old is lazy and doesn't want to walk ever. 

eyenigh

Shabutie said:

I second letting him "get it out of his system". Let him run his little heart out in designated areas and he would hopefully not feel the need to bolt when you need him to stay by you.
Mine doesn't walk independently yet so I'm just speculating. I am also taking reference from my experience in dog training lol.......

I'm a dog person, too so I tend to think in terms of dog training as well! I wish letting him run it out so he'd be calm later worked. It definitely works for the dogs! For my son, it makes no difference unfortunately. Sunday, for example, we did an hour and a half in the park at about 11 a.m., another hour in the playground at about 2 p.m. He didn't take a nap so we went to the open air mall. We made our standard agreement about walking and holding hands and he did well through the department store on the way to the mall but once we got back outside, all bets were off again. Off and running. At almost 40 pounds now, carrying him is a punishment for me as well as him now, too.

eyenigh

BostonKisses2 said:

Toddler harness.  People on here (not necessarily this board, but the site in general) can get their panties so wadded about these, but they're seriously not that bad.  Judith was a bolter too, and using her harness allowed her to have some freedom to explore, but kept her safe and from darting away from us in a split second.  Hers was this exact giraffe harness, and she absolutely loves it!  Occasionally we'll still use it, but she's mostly outgrown the darting phase and is much better about holding hands when we're in public places.  I used hers everywhere: at the grocery store/other stores, getting takeout for meals, even at our local amusement parks and zoos.

Hang in there with this one!  It's so frustrating when they are bolters and refuse to hold hands, but it typically is a phase that they'll outgrow soon.

We have a Disney trip planned for November and if he doesn't start sticking with us better by then, the harness will definitely be on the agenda because I cannot let him loose at Disney! I was telling people a few weeks ago: "Before I kids and I saw a kid on a leash, I was pretty judgey about it. Now that I have this kid, I totally get it and stand absolutely corrected." It's not a matter of not disciplining the kid or "making" him walk with you. Some kids are just running little animals.

hopefulmom81

LovelyRitaMeterMaid said:

I think you are dealing with it appropriately.  Just keep being consistent.  Isla did the same stuff.  She finally learned that not holding my hand and running automatically meant sitting in the stroller or cart, no exceptions.  It was tough, but she outgrew it.

I second the harness suggestion too.  We never ended up using it, but I don't get the judginess over it either.  

I will be honest, I was a harness judger UNTIL I HAD A TODDLER.  Man, these little buggers are FAST.

I used to be judgey because I thought they were kind of dehumanizing and controlling, but now I get it.

meo34

KS02CS08 said:

I'm the opposite way my almost 2 year old is lazy and doesn't want to walk ever. 

Ha! Me too. I had to pry DS from the stroller, he was all about kicking back in there and super lazy lol. I did have a harness for him when we went to Disney and I totally agree on getting one. Just so much safer!