I am a little hesitant to post about this because I'm afraid I'll get some negative feedback, but I'm hoping that I'll find others in my same position.
This is baby #3, first one in 10 years. With my last baby, I really didn't want to breastfeed. I had nursed my daughter and it was fine. She nursed for 9-10 months. I didn't have any problems, but I also never felt like it made me more connected or anything like that. I'm a really independent person who likes my space and my alone time (which you get so little of when you have an infant). While I'm grateful that we are having number three and can't wait to meet her, I'm not one that loves being pregnant. It may sound terribly selfish, but sharing my body is not my favorite thing. Anyway, back to my son. I ended up being guilted into nursing him at the hospital and ended up continuing for 9 or 10 months, like with my daughter. It turned out that with a toddler running around, it was actually easier to nurse an infant and have a hand free for her.
This time, again, I really don't want to breastfeed. I would like my body back to myself as soon as I can and I'm just not comfortable with the idea of it. I'm wondering if a) does anyone else feel the same, or am I total whacko? b) has anyone had experience with pumping only? I am entertaining this as an option. I do realize, obviously, that breast milk is best and I'm so careful with what I and my family eat, so I do feel a little guilt attached to formula feeding. Pumping and feeding is twice the work. Has anyone done it?
Thanks for the input, I'm feeling like I'm alone on this one.
Re: Looking for feedback...I think
I wish I was able to fully BF my kids (I am now prego with #2) but I don't have enough gland tissue so I had to do what I had to do and my DD got some amount of formula from the get go. Otherwise she would have died of hunger. It was such a shock to find out I just wouldn't be able to provide 100% for her. I totally allowed myself to be brainwashed about how essential BF was and that there was bo other alternative... i worked like a maniac to squeeze every drop of milk I could. I felt so ashamed and worthless... and for what??
Not sure i will have the time to put so much effort in this time having an active toddler.
But you know what - at this point, who cares how i fed her? She is super happy and smart, once i got over PPD caused by this issue i was able to actually become a much better mom... Your love matters, not BM or formula...
To BF or not is a hugely personal choice, and I am bummed out for you that you felt so pressured at the hospital last time. The important thing is that baby eats. However you choose to feed him/her is up to you.
January PAL siggie challenge; Good advice:
Like everyone said, this is such a personal decision that only you can make and as you've hopefully discovered from fff you are not alone.
I have been EPing for 5 months. I will tell you it is SO HARD. I would give anything to be able to nurse instead but my baby's latch is too severe. I could give you a few tips if you decide to go this route:
The first couple of months will be the hardest as you wait for you supply to get fully established. You will have to make sure you really keep to your schedule, pumping every 2 or 3 hours, even through the night. I started letting myself sleep through the night after 2 months.
Change your pads regularly and keep your breasts clean and dry. Know the signs of mastitis and catch it early if it hits you. I've had it twice, it's NOT FUN.
Keep your pump parts in the fridge through the day and then wash them at night before you go to bed. I really wish someone had given me this tip earlier, it would have saved me so much effort. I was washing everything after each pump.
If you get a clog, take a shower and massage the hell out of it then pump immediately. Hot compress before pumping also helps. If you are sore a cold compress after pumping also helps. I like the Lansinoh gel packs.
I'm not trying to scare you out of pumping, I don't regret that I am able to feed my baby bm, I would make the same decision again in a heartbeat, but I just want you to be prepared and know how hard it will be. I was naive and thought it would be easy.
Good luck and if you have any questions feel free to ask! I plan to keep going to 6 months then I'm letting myself stop. My body needs a break.
I think your friend's idea of being real straightfoward with the hospital is a good one. You're an older, experienced mom and you know what you need to do-no one should be browbeating you especially after childbirth. I feel the same way as a mom who will BF-no one should push formula on me, just as no one should push bf on you.
I also want to add that BF/FF came up on my month board and we had a very supportive respond just like here. It is a lot different then 5 years ago when I posted about not wanting to BF dS1 and how I was attacked. It was awful and I was just looking to see if there was anyone else who was feeling like I did.