Visitation Transportation

TheBuddha

When it is time for a visitation weekend...

Who drives?  Who has custody?  How far apart do you live?  What times do you meet?  If you do meet in the middle, is this required by your CO, or do you just do it out of the kindness of your heart?  

I know child support and visitation are two seperate things, but if you do do some of the driving and meet in the middle, is the other parent paying their CS and keeping up on their obligations?

ambrvan

We live 30-45 minutes apart. My H is PCP, and BM gets visitation EOWend under 24hr eyes and ears supervision of her parents. The party picking up does the driving. We did it this way so that living conditions and location could somewhat be monitored at BM's.

BM is ordered to pay CS on all of her children (SD with us and two others with her XH that she is not allowed to contact), but she has never paid a dime or contributed financially in any way. Maternal grandparents bought some school clothes and paid $15 toward soccer fees last year. That's it.

cole2144

We share 50/50 custody with BM. DH does all transportation except on holidays or if SD has off from school, then we pick SD up for our time and she does for her time. Transportation is not covered in the CO but we hope to address this when we go back. We live 15-20 minutes from BM. As for the support, you are right, one has nothing to do with the other. You can not withhold visitation for lack of payment. For us, even though we have 50/50, DH pays a significant amount of support since he makes more, we are current on support.

alb2411

DH has primary and we live about 8 hours away from BM. The exchange time varies depending on why the exchange is happening (regular visitation vs. holiday) & my DH's work schedule. The judge stated in the CO that the travel is to be 50/50, ideally with each parent driving halfway for every exchange, but we can agree for one party to do the full drive at the beginning if the other party will do the full drive at the end. 

new+tothis

We meet halfway. We live about 45 minutes apart. It takes us each about 20-25 minutes to get to the halfway point. It is on BDs way home from work though. We meet Wednesday evenings and either Saturday or Sunday morning. We share custody 50/50. Our CO doesn't even have our schedule in it (uggh! We are working on it) but we meet in the middle because I think that's what is fair. We used to live in the same town. He moved 20 minutes North, I moved 20 minutes East. Our old town is in the middle and that is where we meet.

Sunday924

We have custody of SS 1 and his mom lives about 30 minutes away. She picks up and drops off at 6 pm. She pays a VERY small amount of child support and it's never the full amount. 

SS 2 lives about 25 minutes away. DH is CO'd to pick him up and drop him off. It's from school Friday and back at school Wednesday morning. BM has to pick up/ drop off if it falls in our time. Example mothers day weekend she has him Friday at 6 to Sunday at 6 but it fall in our Fri-Wed. 

mccall0113

We live in the same town. It's CO'd that we each do 50% of transportation. Every other month we flip who picks up and who drops off. XH is flexible if I have to work. I dread going out at night with a new baby this winter for pick up. Sigh. I know it could be worse

twister22

BD has DS (5) EOWE, and we live 25 minutes apart. According to the CO the receiving parent should do p/u from the other parents' residence.

BD has arrears in CS, but currently has a FT job and his CS payments are taken automatically out of his pay checks. However, when he is unemployed and not paying CS we do not change the p/u routine.

jess9802

DH has primary custody of SS. His ex lives on the other side of the country, though up until last year she lived in SoCal (we're in OR). SS will be spending summer break with her, then will go back at Christmas. He flies to and from his visits. The CO states that DH pays for SS's return flight to our home, and SS's mom pays for his flight to visit her. When SS lived with his mom, DH was current on child support. We do not receive child support, but she tries to provide support in other ways and it's just fine and wouldn't change how we feel about SS spending time with his mom.

The first summer DH and his ex were divorced, they each drove 8 hours one way to do the exchange. That was exhausting for all three of them and could be really problematic in the winter. Flying has worked well, especially now that SS no longer needs to fly as an unaccompanied minor.

coopsbaby

I have full custody, and exH only gets visitation if I approve it (I've never said no, but he rarely asks.) DD (and her older siblings) refuse to go to his house, so he comes here and they go to dinner or something. He always drives since it's not in our court order and he's 30 miles away. At least this way he has to see/talk to her if he picks her up. If I dropped her off I'm not sure he'd even say hello. 

He is behind on cs, but that makes no difference to me. We did it the same when he was current.

glggirl

We live about 800 miles apart. The CO that DH has basically states that each person pays to get SD to them- so we pay for her to come here, and her mother has to pay for her to go back. It works out well for us, because then no one is left with ridiculous costs while the other pays nothing.

jennadesigns

We live in the same town and we have a very loosely worded CO regarding placement. We've fallen into a pattern where I pick him up for the weekend and when it's time to go back to his dad's, he picks him up. He's very flexible though and if we happen to already be out then we'll drop off/pick up, etc. I know I'm lucky that way.