PR Crowd Anxiety?

msdrdg

DS loves trucks.  Loves them.

He especially loves firetrucks. 

I took him to a Touch-A-Truck event yesterday.  Thought it would be great.  He was so excited.  His little mouth fell open when he saw the hug tall ladder truck.  He was all excited as we waited in line to sit in the police car.  Then it was our turn and he wouldn't get within 3 feet of it.  He said there were too many people.  The we walked over to the pumper fire truck.  He wouldn't go near it.  I had to bribe him with going in the bounce house to climb in.  He cried as soon as he sat in the seat. 

He was happy as a clam in the bounce house and there were a bunch of kids in it.  There was nobody at the firetruck, other than the firemen, when we were in it.

He kept saying there were too many people.  He also tells me most mornings that he doesn't want to go to school because there are too many kids.  This has been going on for a couple weeks now. 

My Mom has tickets for all of us to go to a Thomas The Train ride next weekend, there is no way it won't be crowed.  I haven't told him yet because it was supposed to be a surprise.  He loves Thomas, but now I'm afraid he is going to be scared and miserable the whole time.  Also he is going on vacation this summer with my parents and they plan on taking him to Santa's Village and Storyland. 

Is this a normal almost 4yo phase?  If it is, is there something I can do to help him thru it?  If it isn't a phase, what can I do for him.  I don't want him to live his life unable to do the things he has always loved (climbing on fire trucks and the like) because he is scared.  He was so excited yesterday, and then so scared.    If you ask him though, he will say he had fun and the trucks were cool.

ILoveBoys

(Sorry this is long!) You are not alone. DS2 started this at about 3.5, just one day didn't want to go into his Sunday School class that he'd been at for several months.
We didn't understand it. We tried bribing, talking, asking questions, threatening, we carried him into class and the teacher would close the door until he calmed down and started participating. This continued through 4yo SS class and most of 5yo SS class.
He wouldn't go around people he didn't know, to the point where t two social gatherings (1 with family) he peed his pants rather than come ask us where the bathroom was around people he didn't know. Would take him a while to get into sports practices, even after he knew the people. I worried about how he would go to kindergarten. We didn't have anyone to talk to about this.

I talked to his teacher beforehand and she was VERY understanding. He would go to school and (based on stories from his teacher later) would stand at the door until she went and got him, helped him put his things in his cubby and sit at his desk. This last 4-5 months.

Now at almost 7 (June), he is much better. Goes to class and SS alone, jumps into sports. He still won't talk to people he doesn't know unless strongly prompted.
The only suggestions I have are to not label him as shy to other people. Keep taking him places even though it will be hard. Make sure he knows you're there for him and love him. Talk about how fun things are, but let it be okay if he needs to leave or take a break.
PM me if you have any more questions.

msdrdg

@iloveboys & @-auntie- Thank you for your responses.

He has never seemed to have sensory issues before.  We went to the same T-A-T last year and while he was nervous at first, it is very loud, he got over it quickly and loved climbing on all the trucks.  He climbed all over another firetruck at another even in June.  My brother is a fireman and took him to his station and he loved it.

This all seems to be coming about in the last month or so.  He keeps telling me he doesn't want to go to school because there are too many kids.  He asks me over and over again to stay with him at school.  In another post somebody on here told somebody else to draw a smile on their hand so they can think of you, so I do that for him every morning before I leave school.  The teachers say that he is happy all day and he is fine when I pick him up. 

The whole day was just really sad.  He was so excited, then so scared.  I could tell, he wanted to be brave and he kept saying he wanted to stay and see the trucks, but he would tense up as soon as I lifted him up on to one.  Strangely enough, he had no problem hugging the Chester the Cheetah mascot that was there.

I don't know what time the tickets my Mom got for Thomas are.  I'm sure, no matter what it will be crowded.  Do you know of anything I can do for him to help him cope?  I want him to have fun, I don't want him to be terrified the whole day.  (Obviously, if he his that upset we will leave and not make him suffer thru.)

ILoveBoys

msdrdg - will there be someone going with you tall/big enough they could carry him on their shoulders for a while? So he's "above" everyone else?

Maybe try some earmuffs? DS2 would put his hands over his ears a lot when he was 4ish, he complained things were "loud".

What kind of groupings are their desks in at school? Do they sit close together? He might not like that.

msdrdg

@iloveboys, DH will be with us and he does carry him on his shoulders sometimes.  I don;t know if my Brother will be there, if he is, he can carry him too.

He's in pre-school (program in a daycare).  They don't have desks in his class.  For meals/snack they all sit at a semi-circle table.  I know that at least for breakfast, he always likes to sit as close to the teacher as possible.  The rest of the school day is spent in circle time on the rug, or sitting in a small library area.  There are only 12 or 13 kids in his class, so not a lot, but I guess if they are all in one little place it could be a bit much.