Some people....

pistolpackinmomma

I was just informed by a stranger that I was too young to be married. Gee. Wonder how he feels about me being pregnant. With #2 none the less!! Oh well haters gonna hate! FTR, I'm almost 26. Maybe young, but I would say far from "too young".

cbrust

Ha! Wonder what he'd think about me being 19 when I first got married..
Some people!

pistolpackinmomma

I would say I look my age. Maybe a bit younger but I don't think by much. This was one of my mat pics from 2 weeks ago.

pistolpackinmomma

cbrust said:

Ha! Wonder what he'd think about me being 19 when I first got married..
Some people!

I had just turned 21 when we got married. I was 24.5 when DS was born and will be 26 in July, so shortly after this one. I told DH and he said he seemed kinda odd on the phone.

Nikkipal82

OMG that pic is so adorable!!! People should mind their own freaking business.

cbrust

pistolpackinmomma said:

Ha! Wonder what he'd think about me being 19 when I first got married.. Some people!

I had just turned 21 when we got married. I was 24.5 when DS was born and will be 26 in July, so shortly after this one. I told DH and he said he seemed kinda odd on the phone.

I turn 22 in June and I've had my fair share of people claiming I'm A) too young to be married and too young to have kids. Thanks strangers, I'm so glad you can make a judgement call like that right after meeting me!

Hrhodes78

pistolpackinmomma said:

I was just informed by a stranger that I was too young to be married. Gee. Wonder how he feels about me being pregnant. With #2 none the less!! Oh well haters gonna hate! FTR, I'm almost 26. Maybe young, but I would say far from "too young".

Did you tell them to go blow it out their ass? I hope so. Sorry for the crudeness. I'm awnery these days.

pistolpackinmomma

Thanks @Nikkipal82‌ we have a good photog!

pistolpackinmomma

Hrhodes78 said:

pistolpackinmomma said:

I was just informed by a stranger that I was too young to be married. Gee. Wonder how he feels about me being pregnant. With #2 none the less!! Oh well haters gonna hate! FTR, I'm almost 26. Maybe young, but I would say far from "too young".

Did you tell them to go blow it out their ass? I hope so. Sorry for the crudeness. I'm awnery these days.

I would have but he was here to buy our old garage door and I'm tired of looking at the damn thing so I let it slide for the sake of getting rid of an eyesore. When I answered the door he said that he must have talked to my dad on the phone. It was after I corrected him that it was my husband that he decided I was too young.

ThereBeDragons

You do have a young face, but still- judgey people suck. 

My family thinks I'm too old to be having babies- but they want more babies in the family so bad they're willing to shut up and suck it up. I had a lot of pushback on my age from DHs family when we got married (had just turned 23) because they typically do the marriage/baby thing in their 30s. But DH and I had already been dating for 5 years and living together for almost 2, so we did the only thing that really works in this situation. 

We had a happy, successful marriage and proved them wrong. Living well is the best revenge

awc1986

It's funny because 30 years ago you would have been "on the shelf" if you weren't married with kids at 26.

I'm a young looking 27 and my DH is a baby faced 29 and we get a lot of judgey looks at the mo. We are often told we both look early 20s and dress quite young too. I always see people looking at my belly then at my hand for a ring (usually old women).

We've actually been together for 10 years and married for 2.5 years. We're probably a lot more stable than a lot of older couples who marry a few months after meeting.

pistolpackinmomma

awc1986 said:

It's funny because 30 years ago you would have been "on the shelf" if you weren't married with kids at 26.

I'm a young looking 27 and my DH is a baby faced 29 and we get a lot of judgey looks at the mo. We are often told we both look early 20s and dress quite young too. I always see people looking at my belly then at my hand for a ring (usually old women).

We've actually been together for 10 years and married for 2.5 years. We're probably a lot more stable than a lot of older couples who marry a few months after meeting.

Yeah I can't wear my ring but he wears his. We get lots of looks then. And you are right that 30 years ago (and this guy was older) I would have been old to be having kids! We have been together for almost 9 years, married 4 of them, and were really good friends for 3 years prior to dating. I think we're pretty stable given that we're able to survive him gone for 5-6 days a week!

usernewname

Call me the space cowboy....

Haha sorry. Your title made me sing it.

I was married at 24 - you're not too young and I'll be 27 this summer.

My friend was married at 20, had her first child at 19 and now has 3 boys. Some people just start early.

cnbean

 I agree, its really irritating to get those kind of comments. My massage therapist has commented on how I don't look old enough to be having kids.She does it every single time and its starting to get old. I'm 28 for heavens sake! Its not like I'm just out of high school or something.

reneewhite90

I'm 24, married, have 2 children already and have one (last one) on the way now. Some people wait until later in their life to accomplish things they want before doing the whole married with kids thing; others start their family early.

There are a few things I wish I could have experienced that are more difficult now, but I know I sure as hell won't be upset I started my family so young when I'm a mere 42 years old when all three kids are done with high school. We are going to be so well off that I won't even bat an eyelash when I kick them all out at the ripe age of 18 and enjoy the second half of my life getting drunk on the beach with DH. (Totally kidding; I don't do so well in the heat, my kids are too awesome to leave, and we will probably be paying out of our ass for school tuitions...)

All in all, people judge the hell out of one another. Let them think whatever they want. You do you. Screw the rest.

Kaylee524

Yeah, people like that can stuff it. I was married when I was 20, and we started TTC less than a year later. Of course, it took us 4 1/2 years, so now I'm 26 and pregnant instead of in my early 20s, but if I had gotten pregnant back then we would have been just fine too.

Not everyone wants to live their lives the same way, and people need to get over it.

sisterjanet

awc1986 said:

It's funny because 30 years ago you would have been "on the shelf" if you weren't married with kids at 26. I'm a young looking 27 and my DH is a baby faced 29 and we get a lot of judgey looks at the mo. We are often told we both look early 20s and dress quite young too. I always see people looking at my belly then at my hand for a ring (usually old women). We've actually been together for 10 years and married for 2.5 years. We're probably a lot more stable than a lot of older couples who marry a few months after meeting.

Unmarried, childless 26-year-old women were on the shelf in 1984?  I was nodding along, but then I reread and realized my brain had assumed you typed "130 years ago."

Lild09

Ah we get this a lot...used to more so than now but we married at 22 and ppl thought it was insane I just turned 27 and DH will be 27 come September...this October married for 5 years and in December together for 9!

The other day a lady came to my door and asked to speak to the homeowner I was like uh huh me...she's like oh sorry you look very young! Lol hey I'll take it

awc1986

sisterjanet said:

awc1986 said:

It's funny because 30 years ago you would have been "on the shelf" if you weren't married with kids at 26.

I'm a young looking 27 and my DH is a baby faced 29 and we get a lot of judgey looks at the mo. We are often told we both look early 20s and dress quite young too. I always see people looking at my belly then at my hand for a ring (usually old women).

We've actually been together for 10 years and married for 2.5 years. We're probably a lot more stable than a lot of older couples who marry a few months after meeting.

Unmarried, childless 26-year-old women were on the shelf in 1984?  I was nodding along, but then I reread and realized my brain had assumed you typed "130 years ago."


That's why my mum got married aged 20 in 1984! Of course she loved my dad (together until she died last year) but everyone around her was getting engaged or married too. She had me at 22.

fatbarbie0226

I was married at 21. Had my first baby at 24, now I'm 26 having my second. I wouldn't say you're too young. Some of my friends who are the same age as me are on their 3rd or 4th kid!

sisterjanet

awc1986 said:

awc1986 said:

It's funny because 30 years ago you would have been "on the shelf" if you weren't married with kids at 26. I'm a young looking 27 and my DH is a baby faced 29 and we get a lot of judgey looks at the mo. We are often told we both look early 20s and dress quite young too. I always see people looking at my belly then at my hand for a ring (usually old women). We've actually been together for 10 years and married for 2.5 years. We're probably a lot more stable than a lot of older couples who marry a few months after meeting.

Unmarried, childless 26-year-old women were on the shelf in 1984?  I was nodding along, but then I reread and realized my brain had assumed you typed "130 years ago."

That's why my mum got married aged 20 in 1984! Of course she loved my dad (together until she died last year) but everyone around her was getting engaged or married too. She had me at 22.

That seems strange to me, unless this is a "differences between US and UK" thing.  My parents got married in '67, both aged 20, and people were telling my mom back then that she was too young.

MrsT2008

sisterjanet said:

awc1986 said:

awc1986 said:

It's funny because 30 years ago you would have been "on the shelf" if you weren't married with kids at 26. I'm a young looking 27 and my DH is a baby faced 29 and we get a lot of judgey looks at the mo. We are often told we both look early 20s and dress quite young too. I always see people looking at my belly then at my hand for a ring (usually old women). We've actually been together for 10 years and married for 2.5 years. We're probably a lot more stable than a lot of older couples who marry a few months after meeting.

Unmarried, childless 26-year-old women were on the shelf in 1984?  I was nodding along, but then I reread and realized my brain had assumed you typed "130 years ago."

That's why my mum got married aged 20 in 1984! Of course she loved my dad (together until she died last year) but everyone around her was getting engaged or married too. She had me at 22.

That seems strange to me, unless this is a "differences between US and UK" thing.  My parents got married in '67, both aged 20, and people were telling my mom back then that she was too young.

We'll my parents married in 1983, my dad was 29, and his parents had basically given up hope it would ever happen. Probably depends on area (dad is from tiny town in no mans land in OH)

pandadair

sisterjanet said:

awc1986 said:

It's funny because 30 years ago you would have been "on the shelf" if you weren't married with kids at 26. I'm a young looking 27 and my DH is a baby faced 29 and we get a lot of judgey looks at the mo. We are often told we both look early 20s and dress quite young too. I always see people looking at my belly then at my hand for a ring (usually old women). We've actually been together for 10 years and married for 2.5 years. We're probably a lot more stable than a lot of older couples who marry a few months after meeting.

Unmarried, childless 26-year-old women were on the shelf in 1984?  I was nodding along, but then I reread and realized my brain had assumed you typed "130 years ago."

I think to some people they always will be. That does not sound like my mom's 1980's, though.

ThereBeDragons

sisterjanet said:

awc1986 said:

awc1986 said:

It's funny because 30 years ago you would have been "on the shelf" if you weren't married with kids at 26. I'm a young looking 27 and my DH is a baby faced 29 and we get a lot of judgey looks at the mo. We are often told we both look early 20s and dress quite young too. I always see people looking at my belly then at my hand for a ring (usually old women). We've actually been together for 10 years and married for 2.5 years. We're probably a lot more stable than a lot of older couples who marry a few months after meeting.

Unmarried, childless 26-year-old women were on the shelf in 1984?  I was nodding along, but then I reread and realized my brain had assumed you typed "130 years ago."

That's why my mum got married aged 20 in 1984! Of course she loved my dad (together until she died last year) but everyone around her was getting engaged or married too. She had me at 22.

That seems strange to me, unless this is a "differences between US and UK" thing.  My parents got married in '67, both aged 20, and people were telling my mom back then that she was too young.

I think its more of a differences between social groups sort of thing more so than location. 

Our parents married in the same year (74) and had their first in the same year (80). They were just very different ages when they got started. And 30 years later the "on the shelf/too old" opinions didn't really change for either family. DHs family is still getting married and popping out kids in their mid to late 30s and my sister married and had her first kid at 19 without any judgement.

blessedandhopeful

I'm surprised I don't seem to get looks or comments about being young, married, and expecting my second kid. I'm 27, but apparently I can pass for a middle schooler! I teach in a middle school, and when I moved to a new school last year a lot of people thought I was a student at first! Funny stuff, but I'll take it. Hopefully it means I will continue to age well. 

raebee18

One thing I've learned is that people always have an opinion about your relationship no matter the circumstances. I personally wouldn't have gotten married until I was 23 (I wanted to finish college and have a job) but I know a few people back home that got married right out of high school they've been married 10 years and have wonderful children. Your life is always best when lived the way you want.

awc1986

We only have one other friend who is married and he's 32 and got married 9 months ago. Everyone else we went to school/college with seems to still be travelling and pissing around on Facebook like they're still gap year students, spending all their parent's money.
Whatever works for them, but good luck forging a career when you've been doing nothing but bar work in Thailand and Mexico until your 30th birthday. I'm glad that I've settled into a relationship and have a mortgage. It frees up a lot of space on my "to do" list. While they're all trying to buy a property or settle down, DH and I will be on the beach in Thailand or Mexico while our child(ren) are off at college. LO will be 18 when we're 45 & 47. Plenty of time to enjoy the good life!

pandadair

awc1986 said:

We only have one other friend who is married and he's 32 and got married 9 months ago. Everyone else we went to school/college with seems to still be travelling and pissing around on Facebook like they're still gap year students, spending all their parent's money. Whatever works for them, but good luck forging a career when you've been doing nothing but bar work in Thailand and Mexico until your 30th birthday. I'm glad that I've settled into a relationship and have a mortgage. It frees up a lot of space on my "to do" list. While they're all trying to buy a property or settle down, DH and I will be on the beach in Thailand or Mexico while our child(ren) are off at college. LO will be 18 when we're 45 & 47. Plenty of time to enjoy the good life!

Lolz at the input on forging a career from the person who constantly talks about hating their dead end job and having no desire to be "successful". I didn't even start working in my current industry until 3 years ago in my late 20's after a string of random, "military spouse"-style employment for the rest of that decade. Also, I guess it's good that I was able to magically plan meeting my husband? God forbid someone doesn't meet the person they want to be with/have a family with until they're *gasp* IN THEIR 30's.

I think the moral of this whole thread is judgey, self-satisfied people will be judgey and self-satisfied. Clearly.

ETA: Traveling the world when you're young, single, and figuring yourself out is a totally different experience than plopping your middle-aged ass on a beach with blended drinks.

awc1986

@pandadair‌ - sorry you don't agree with the sentiment of this entire thread. Different strokes for different folks. What suits some doesn't suit others. I feel more stable having a marriage and a mortgage at 27 than I would be "discovering myself" in the same way everyone "discovers themselves" (ie backpacking across Thailand and Australia - change the record) on their parents' money.

And I don't hate my job - I hate my boss.

Edit: calling the people in this thread judgey and self satisfied just makes you sound a tad bitter.

reneewhite90

awc1986 said:

@pandadair‌ - sorry you don't agree with the sentiment of this entire thread. Different strokes for different folks. What suits some doesn't suit others. I feel more stable having a marriage and a mortgage at 27 than I would be "discovering myself" in the same way everyone "discovers themselves" (ie backpacking across Thailand and Australia - change the record) on their parents' money.

And I don't hate my job - I hate my boss.

Edit: calling the people in this thread judgey and self satisfied just makes you sound a tad bitter.

Pretty sure that's not what she was saying... I read it as people (in general) are going to judge in any circumstance, whether that be married/kids at 20 or married/kids at 30. Chose what works for you and what you want. To each their own. Like I said earlier-screw the rest. Definitely didn't read it as her calling everyone in this thread judgey or self satisfied, though.

ETA: Emphasis on her not calling EVERYONE in this thread judgey. It seemed pretty directed to me, but I could be wrong?

awc1986

If I've misunderstood who PP was aiming it the edited comment at then I apologise. I read it as a blanket statement as it seemed directed at all the participants in the thread.

pandadair

reneewhite90 said:

@pandadair‌ - sorry you don't agree with the sentiment of this entire thread. Different strokes for different folks. What suits some doesn't suit others. I feel more stable having a marriage and a mortgage at 27 than I would be "discovering myself" in the same way everyone "discovers themselves" (ie backpacking across Thailand and Australia - change the record) on their parents' money. And I don't hate my job - I hate my boss. Edit: calling the people in this thread judgey and self satisfied just makes you sound a tad bitter.

Pretty sure that's not what she was saying... I read it as people (in general) are going to judge in any circumstance, whether that be married/kids at 20 or married/kids at 30. Chose what works for you and what you want. To each their own. Like I said earlier-screw the rest. Definitely didn't read it as her calling everyone in this thread judgey or self satisfied, though. ETA: Emphasis on her not calling EVERYONE in this thread judgey. It seemed pretty directed to me, but I could be wrong?

Not directed at you, m'dear! Get married and have kids at 20 or travel and don't have a "real" job till 30. *shrug* There's no one way of doing things that is inherently better than any other, including sitting on a beach in Mexico while other people you know are "trying to buy property and settle down".

ETA because apparently I can't squeeze out full thoughts anymore: I have friends/acquaintances that have done both. Some of those that got married young and have kids are doing great and perfectly happy. Some are already divorced and/or struggling and/or not happy. Some of those that are still very much single and traveling/doing their own thing are loving it and some wish they could be settled down already. People aren't doing it wrong just because they're not doing it like I am, which, to me, is very much how your post came off @awc1986.

reneewhite90

@pandadair‌ - I wrote my edited section in a confused manner. I did not read it as a direct statement to ME personally. I was trying to say that I did not believe you were calling everyone in the thread judgey, rather your thoughts may have been geared more toward Awc considering you quoted her and all.

I'm a confusing bitch, man. Just roll with it.

pandadair

reneewhite90 said:

@pandadair‌ - I wrote my edited section in a confused manner. I did not read it as a direct statement to ME personally. I was trying to say that I did not believe you were calling everyone in the thread judgey, rather your thoughts may have been geared more toward Awc considering you quoted her and all. I'm a confusing bitch, man. Just roll with it.

My comprehension is compromised by my shroud of bitterness. Please still let me roll with you, plskthx!

awc1986

This is just a web of misunderstanding. I was referring to people who I know in my peer group and not just everyone in the world, which is why I was talking about my FB. Everyone wants to live their lives differently and puts emphasis on what they think is important. To me it's feeling secure, settled and like my future is stable. I'm not saying it is, but I feel like I'm at least working towards that and it makes me happy. Others prefer to live in the moment and that's fine. I just wish they'd do it with their own money rather than using up their parent's retirement fund. Like I say, I'm solely referring to people I know.

reneewhite90

Always, @pandadair‌ :x

Tkhixen

awc1986 said:

@pandadair‌ - sorry you don't agree with the sentiment of this entire thread. Different strokes for different folks. What suits some doesn't suit others. I feel more stable having a marriage and a mortgage at 27 than I would be "discovering myself" in the same way everyone "discovers themselves" (ie backpacking across Thailand and Australia - change the record) on their parents' money.

And I don't hate my job - I hate my boss.

Edit: calling the people in this thread judgey and self satisfied just makes you sound a tad bitter.

I don't think she comes across bitter at all! @awc1986‌ , you seem to have a lot of opinions about how every else should live there life. I have had a very successful career since I was 22, worked my way up the ranks, even have a nice retirement already... I was able to pick up and go on vacation whenever I wanted! Paid by me! Have owned my house since I was 24! Guess what, I didn't get married till I was 35! My first baby is arriving in two weeks and I'm 36! Did I do it wrong? Maybe you should ask your dad, since you mention him in every other post you write!

sisterjanet

awc1986 said:

This is just a web of misunderstanding. I was referring to people who I know in my peer group and not just everyone in the world, which is why I was talking about my FB. Everyone wants to live their lives differently and puts emphasis on what they think is important. To me it's feeling secure, settled and like my future is stable. I'm not saying it is, but I feel like I'm at least working towards that and it makes me happy. Others prefer to live in the moment and that's fine. I just wish they'd do it with their own money rather than using up their parent's retirement fund. Like I say, I'm solely referring to people I know.

Brain win:  I read that as "beer group" and had to take a minute to stop snickering before I could read the rest of the post.

Also, random aside: Considering we're all definitely going to be parents, or are already, if you don't want your kid spending your money, don't give it to them.  People spend their money how they want, barring situations like mugging or bank fraud.  Some parents might even enjoy being able to fund the trips their adult children take.

pistolpackinmomma

MrsT2008 said:

sisterjanet said:

awc1986 said:

sisterjanet said:

awc1986 said:

It's funny because 30 years ago you would have been "on the shelf" if you weren't married with kids at 26.

I'm a young looking 27 and my DH is a baby faced 29 and we get a lot of judgey looks at the mo. We are often told we both look early 20s and dress quite young too. I always see people looking at my belly then at my hand for a ring (usually old women).

We've actually been together for 10 years and married for 2.5 years. We're probably a lot more stable than a lot of older couples who marry a few months after meeting.

Unmarried, childless 26-year-old women were on the shelf in 1984?  I was nodding along, but then I reread and realized my brain had assumed you typed "130 years ago."

That's why my mum got married aged 20 in 1984! Of course she loved my dad (together until she died last year) but everyone around her was getting engaged or married too. She had me at 22.

That seems strange to me, unless this is a "differences between US and UK" thing.  My parents got married in '67, both aged 20, and people were telling my mom back then that she was too young.






We'll my parents married in 1983, my dad was 29, and his parents had basically given up hope it would ever happen. Probably depends on area (dad is from tiny town in no mans land in OH)

We live in no mans land Ohio too. When my parents were young it was common to marry right out of school. My mom was married at 19, had me at 20 and then people thought she was crazy for waiting until 25 to have my brother. Maybe it's a regional thing? Or at least farm town vs big city thing?

pistolpackinmomma

And FTR, I don't care what others choose to do or what life chooses for them. I have lots of single friends and lots that are married and having kids. It's whatever to me. Also, just because I'm "settled down" doesn't mean I have done better career wise. I have yet to have an actual career. It's always just been a job for me (my degree is useless) so I chose (with my husband) to be a SAHM. Just wanted to make sure I didn't get wrapped up in a "people have to get married and have a career in their 20's and travel when they are old" group.

Marcella05

DH had his first 2 kids at 19 and 23. Our son will be born when he is 32. We could argue that he was too young at 19, for shits and giggles. But it is no ones place to judge. I wouldn't have changed a thing about the way we have lived our lives. His children are amazing and can't wait to meet our boy!