Things I never thought I'd say...

Robeano

Here are today's gems...

"No we don't bite the couch Hannah."

"don't eat that Q-tip"

"Get your hands out of the toilet"

"Plungers are not a toy!"

What about the rest of you?

Mrs.AmyDylan

"Ewwww...no, that is poop, put it down" (cats crap in our yard and our dog will only poop on a walk)

 "Big girls sit down on the couch" 

"Please don't hit anyone with that stick"

"No, the toilet is for potty, not for hands" after she put hand in the pot and straight to mouth.

"Just because you dislike your stroller doesn't mean we get to ruin big sister's day by not going on a pooch walk" (big sister is our sweet pooch)

"Seriously? You couldn't wait to get out of your stroller and now you are climbing in it?"

"Putting your hands in your smoothie is not an appropriate way to drink it"

"Make a good decision!" (On repeat)

Whales124

I've been wondering if I should just make a recording of myself to save the energy.
"No Clare, we do not eat garbage."

"Stop eating dog food...water...treats, etc."

I tell my HS students about it and those who have babysat for her totally back me up - Clare is nutso :P

Ruthie04

In addition to the others mentioned, here are a few of our latest:

"Avocado really does give your hair an impressive, all day hold."

"Please don't bite my toes."

"Yes, you are a big helper. But, I don't need any help wiping your brother's bottom."

"Wow, a 45 minute tantrum? That seems like it should be worthy of a baby book posting!"

"Please don't make me read Hokey Pokey Elmo again. I might cry."

TJ1979

"We don't hit with flowers!"

"Hangers are not toys."

"Please don't jump off of the ottoman onto the floor!"

Let's not touch the peepee in the potty."

kmc84

"please don't bite my feet"

"we sit down in the tub"

"the CO detector is not a toy" (LOVES to hit the reset button and make it alarm )

"let's not make confetti out of toilet paper"

"we don't bite our wet diapers" (I ball them up as I change her and she loves to grab it and bite)

trigirl79

"please don't bite my toes" (@Ruthie04 - I had to laugh)

"please don't lick the dog/dog toys/dog bones"

"it's not safe to stand up in the tub, please sit down"

"books are for reading not for chewing"

Jenny935

"You can't be all done, you're naked!" (When making the 'all done' sign during diaper change)

srveatch

"A, put the cat bowl back" "Please do not pull my pants down" "don't put that poop on the floor"

kzawisl

"Stop licking your sister."
"The toilet is not the same as your water table."

TJ1979

srveatch said:

"A, put the cat bowl back" "Please do not pull my pants down" "don't put that poop on the floor"

I laughed out loud at the poop one. Kids!

srveatch

TJ1979 said:

"A, put the cat bowl back" "Please do not pull my pants down" "don't put that poop on the floor"

She bent down and pooped and then as she was standing up she ripped off her diaper and I caught myself saying that today. There is a first for everything! I laughed out loud at the poop one. Kids!

trigirl79

two new ones to add from yesterday (we were out on our deck enjoying the sun) 

"please don't lick the railings"

"we don't play with bird poop"

i'm thinking maybe i need to wash our deck off today and periodically. who knew?

VegasGal1978

"You can pat it and twirl it, but don't pull it, that hurts.". Referring to B's obsession with her own hair.

TJ1979

And another gem for today...

No no, we don't put the keys in the toilet. I said no! E! No! We don't put the keys in the...
Honey, can you get the keys out of the toilet?

Good times.

itsmevkb

"Yes, I know your penis is hard but it will go back down."

Robeano

itsmevkb said:

"Yes, I know your penis is hard but it will go back down."

Awkward!! lol

itsmevkb

Robeano said:

itsmevkb said:

"Yes, I know your penis is hard but it will go back down."

Awkward!! lol

Boys!

hoping4more

"I do not need your help burping your brother" (to my 16 month old trying to hit her brothers back)