Toys from grandparents

Maebb

My parents watch DS on some Fridays. This sounds harsh and ungrateful, but when they offered to do it, DH basically said, "Yes, and thank you, but please don't send home anything that he didn't have when he arrived." My mom likes to go to thrift stores and buy stuff for DS, which is sweet, but we have a small house and can only keep a select number of toys, especially noisy ones.

My mom sent me these pics with the text, "He loves these toys, please can he keep them?" I feel like a brat, but DH doesn't want to bring them home. Should I tell DH to just smile, say thanks, and take them, or should I tell my mom that maybe she can leave them at her house so he'll have toys he loves there?

Also, she said he was eating an orange, so that's the reason for his facial expression, and don't ask about all the crap they have on their porch.

ASmallWonder

I'd definitely try to be nice about it but say "Looks like he does!  He has so many things at home though that I'd really love for him to have some things at your house that he'd love to play with.  Can we keep them with you?"

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ASmallWonder

I'll say too, that I understand the slippery slope potential but it's hard to make even the offender understand.  Worst case, you take these two since she's been good about it but you put your foot down for next time.

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Maebb

@haygurlhay‌, she hasn't really listened or followed what we asked about not sending things home. Of course she's trying to be sweet, and I'm grateful that she watches DS because I knows he enjoys it, but we just accumulate more and more stuff, a lot of which we can't use or don't want.

Then she'll come over and be like, "Oh, where's the ___ I got for DS?" and I don't want to say, "Well, we didn't need it and told you not to get it in the first place, so we gave it away."

Maebb

Ok.

To make things really simple, my mom buys DS things that he doesn't need. We don't want to just say thanks and take everything because a) we can't fit it in our house, b) DS doesn't need it, c) I don't want my mom to waste her time or money buying these things. If she wants to just straight up give money to charity or give toys and clothes to needy children, that's great, and we could remove the middle man here. I just don't know of a gracious way to say that to my mom.

I'll try the @elmoali approach.

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ASmallWonder

My mother also would remember every single thing she gave so when I got rid of things that weren't useful or safe or whatever, she'd call me out on it and a war would ensue.  I get it.  You have to be strongly honest with her:  I really appreciate you buying him things so please don't misunderstand but we literally can't fit all these things in our place.  I hate the idea of your money being wasted when we have to get rid of things sooner than necessary to make space for new things.  I really need you let him enjoy the nice things you've already gotten for him and keep some of them at your house.  We're at capacity and I don't want to make this a fight because I know you do it because you love him.

ByeBabyBunting

Can't you just get rid of some of his older stuff to make room for the 2 new things? We do this a lot. Then she can see that you have and are using the new toy without overloaiding your house. 

shadypines

It's really.......


Oh forget it!

ASmallWonder

pobrecita said:

elmoali said:

My mother also would remember every single thing she gave so when I got rid of things that weren't useful or safe or whatever, she'd call me out on it and a war would ensue. 

I mean, I get rid of toys that *I* buy him, so I don't see how this is a big deal. Keep it for 2 months then and donate.

Oh, believe me, it shouldn't be a big deal but for some people it is lol  And if you know it's going to be a fight it just sucks.  Obviously I'm coming at this from personal experience so the OP may not be facing exactly this but when I say a war ensues over things no longer in our possession, I am not joking.