How many of you keep your names a secret from family and friends?

JuneRunner14

I run names by 2 close friends but we don't say a word to family. My mom had a ton of opinions when I was pregnant the first time and I couldn't handle hearing them. Now that this is our 3rd she is acting slighted as if I am hiding something from her. I also don't like hearing opinions but for hearing them on here. Maybe I have thinner skin than I thought. 

ConversationFear

We didn't but I wish we would have. Our friends are being awesome about keeping their opinions to themselves, but my MIL takes every opportunity she can to tell us how much she hates our names and then tries to shove names that haven't been popular since my husband was born down our throats.

I'm not sure why mothers think they have a say in the name. Last time I checked, they named their kids. This baby is ours - not theirs. It's almost like when mothers try to relive their wedding day through their daughters' wedding day...you had your damn day already- get over it!

Sorry - I'm pretty ranty about this right now, I guess.

RedCardinal

We kept it a secret with DD (our last). I learned from experience my family was very annoying and opinionated when we talked names.  :-q

WashingtonQueen

We told everybody the first pregnancy.
The second time, our parents and siblings knew, but no one else. We kept it secret because we wanted something to announce when she was born.

Soon2BMrsN

We do. Our reasoning is that we all know the sex and the date of birth beforehand (well, with babies #2 and 3 anyway...repeat c-sections), so something has to be a surprise! DH gets to go out to the waiting room after the baby is born to show our parents pics and "finally" reveal the name. Also, I hate unsolicited opinions and feel that people have a much harder time criticizing a name after it already belongs to a person.

stahlop

We told names the first pregnancy (we were team green). Mom hated our girl name (Alice) and kept giving other suggestions or claiming she'd call her Ali instead. We had a boy. With our second (also team green), no one knew except my DH and I and my midwife what our names were. I didn't want unwanted opinions from my mother again.

chris&kendra1

I didn't keep it a secret, and I probably wouldn't keep it a secret in the future. BUT, everyone I told was very polite and respectful. I don't have the kind of family members or friends who would openly scoff at someone's name choice. I can't for the life of me imagine why anyone would do that for someone you weren't extremely close with, or if you weren't asked. That said, I know a lot of people do it so I understand why people keep it quiet!

abbyful

Definely keeping it a secret.

With DS's name, we didn't start off keeping it a secret. But when my mom asked about names and we mentioned some we were thinking of, she found something wrong with every single one. She's a teacher, so a lot were "that kid was a brat", "that kid came from a scummy family", etc. Or that there was a children's book with that character (apparently Penelope is a pig's name to her). Then she even said SHE would pick the name! Uh, no! So DH & I quickly decided there was no more sharing and the name would be a secret until baby was born.

bobcee

We kept quiet both times.  I don't want to hear people's opinions, suggestions, or have their reactions influence a name we may love.  Also I want to be able to change our mind up to the last minute, without people saying things like oh, why did you switch it, I liked such and such better.  Also avoids receiving monogrammed things until the name is set in stone. 

ritzgrrl

I haven't decided yet. On one hand, I'd like to avoid any potential criticism or side-eyes, but on the other hand, I'm not great at keeping my own secrets. 

The one kind of weird reason that I'd want to keep it a secret is because I don't like people calling my belly by name. It's a weird complex I have, but a coworker does this with all the pregnant ladies, and I have no idea why it rubs me the wrong way.

CiderWench

I talk about names with anybody and everybody the entire nine months. It doesn't bother me at all if people hate our choices, and I don't mind people giving suggestions. In fact, I kind of enjoy it when people, family especially (okay, my mother-in-law), dislike our name choices because I know that I get the final say despite their opinions.

MandMLeona

We don't reveal final decisions as we've never really known ahead of time. 

I also try to avoid discussing the serious contenders with family.  I know our taste is different then their's so I don't expect them to like them.  It's just easier to discuss names we have considered and won't be using than listen to opinions on other pregnancy topics.

DanandVan

We told anyone who asked (all 3 times), and yes my mother and FIL and a few friends have said horrible things and tried to talk us out of our names.
We knew we picked good names, and didn't really care what others said.
I think there is a difference between saying "We're naming baby THIS" (what we did), and "we're thinking about these names, not sure". When you aren't sure, you open yourself up,more so, to their opinions.

jburdet1

I'm very quiet and don't share when we are still deciding because I don't want opinions to sway us.

Once DH and I have the name down we announce. Both our families are pretty polite and respectful.

With DD#2 DH let it slip that we were considering Isla and MIL said something rude, but it didn't sway DH from our final choice. After announcing her name, FIL asked if he could make a suggestion and we just said no. MIL wanted us to add a name to DD#2's name but that's a different story...

I plan to do the same with the third. No reason to keep baby's name a secret I can handle the drama

Jags8

I plan on keeping it a secret. If I want opinions, I'll come here and ask. I'd rather receive constructive criticism from strangers. I'm pretty sure I'd be butt-hurt if a close friend or family member poo-pooed a name I love.

Dr.Loretta

We didn't. I lucked out with a family who realized they get to name their own kids, they don't have any input on mine.

mc0113

I can't keep secrets. We're not telling family we're pregnant until after our trip to Asia next month when I'll be 10 weeks and I'm dying. Lol I have told 2 friends though and our name choices. We'll probably tell everyone down in a few months, but we're team green so it'll still be a surprise in the end.

JenPaul

We have kept the names a secret all three times.  We have very opinionated family members (with horrible taste in names!) With our first, we didn't find out what we were having.  After she was born, my MIL asked what the boy name was and we told her John Robert. When our second child was born and was a boy, she was pissed we had named him Elliott James. The first words out of her mouth in the hospital waiting room was not "how is he? When can we see him?" she said "But I thought you were going to name him John Robert!" and then she pouted. Thankfully, I wasn't there. 

And I won't even get into my mom and her opinions... but you would think that with this being my third, and my sister having 2, and neither one of us sharing names in the past, that she would stop asking. But instead she waits until she has one of my kids (or my niece) alone and tries to get them to tell her. And they never know either!

So I come on here to bounce ideas off of people and to get random opinions.

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sharksfan

Team secret. I really don't want my family's opinion.

emmy236

When DH and I settled on names we announced. We had ours set and no ones opinions would change that. I know my MIL wasn't a fan at first with Reed but as she told people and got a lot of positive feed back her attitude quickly changed. By the time my shower rolled around everyone had grown used to the name and they were fine. I liked being able to call him by name and get his nursery ready with things with his name on it. My SIL on the other hand "announced" her baby names a few times. By the third name we all just smile and nodded and waited for it to be official before buying anything personalized. I feel like if you are afraid to announce because someone's opinion will make you change your mind, it might not be the right name.

pipeTsquared

Complete secret apart from help with the zulu middle name as the meaning is important and it is expected to ask family for their views and things

afwsprag

We've always told, but we have always been firm on the name long before the baby was born. Luckily, everyone has been positive about our choices. Because most people have reacted so positively, telling others has made my husband like our names more (in both cases, I was more in love with the names than he was). It will be interesting this time if we have a boy because our boy's name, Alden, isn't as universally loved as our girls' names have been. However, anyone who is close to us knows that Alden has always (long before we were married) been our choice for a boy, so I doubt they would say anything negative.

snowpants

We don't discuss names with family or friends.  When people ask we just say (truthfully) that we're still not sure and once we know we'll still tell people we're keeping it a surprise.

I want DH and I to make our decision independently from "I like this name way better than that name" or "I knew a so-and-so and hated him" or "don't use that name because someone else might want to use it someday" which are all comments we're likely to get if we share. 

RaeJ004

We keep it a secret.  I would tell my family if I knew they wouldn't share with the world, but they totally will.  And I heard enough of their opinions even after DD was born, why start that earlier than needed?

blu-eyedwife

We didn't share for a lot of the same reasons listed above.  Before the baby is born, people view the name as "negotiable" and have no problems sharing their thoughts.  We didn't want people to try and guilt us into a name ("Oh you're not naming her after aunt Sophie?") or tell us about someone disreputable who shared the name ("I know a junkie named Oscar.")  And we didn't really want to have to defend the name ("Fergus sounds like an ogre's name.")  Once a baby is born, people are much less likely to offer any suggestions or negative opinions.

LadyRoarsome

We didn't last time, this time I think we will. We got a lot of opinions from family last time around, an a SIL who was pissed off because we 'stole her name.' This time we're also going with family names. If it is a girl I'd really like to keep it a secret because we will be naming for my grandmother. It'll be a really sentimental moment for my mother when she meets baby girl and finds out her name.

mchupie

We've never kept names a secret and don't care what anyone else thinks (other than this board, of course!) Surprisingly we never received a negative comment with either girls' name.

JMU_Bride09

We kept both boys' names a secret. We did tell a friend couple DS2's name, but they were the only exception.

LadyXaverian

We told people once her name was decided. We were lucky to not get any push back or alternate suggestions once we announced. 

IrishTraveler

We keep it a secret. I don't want the opinions of my family.

thegoodpotato

Our first wasn't but our second was. I just couldn't take the pressure.

My MIL was all over awful suggestions that harken to the 80's with our second kid. Which is kind of ironic, considering we named her Amanda.

But Lacey? Really? All I could picture was the cover to the Babysitter's Club books.

macchiatto

We kept it a secret, but we didn't decide for sure until right before they were born anyway. If we ever have another, a few more people have heard about names we're considering.

ObLaDi

We kept our possible names private until we were sure of our choice, and then we shared. We didn't want family's opinions to sway our decision. My mom was ticked about it, too.

NerdyLucy

We're TTC our first baby, so we haven't encountered this yet, but I don't plan on telling anyone (IRL) our name list until the baby is born.  I'd rather get opinions from this board. 

MrsP7309

We didn't tell for 2 reasons.

1. We had so much trouble picking a girl name we both loved. When we finally found one, we were really worried that someone would make a comment that would put a negative spin on the name in one of our heads.

2. We knew we had the prerogative to change our minds no matter what, but it's a lot easier to do when family members haven't made you beautiful handmade items with the baby's name on them. We actually sort of did that... going in to the hospital we were leaning toward Genevieve Teresa, but I went with Genevieve Maren instead. We were glad we didn't have anything personalized or monogrammed!

KayP79@msn.com

we keep the name a secret. Its fun to fall in love with the name on your own and get to announce it when the baby arrives.
My mother keeps saying" if I knew a name for this baby I'd have a better connection" lol. ..it's our 3rd and last baby so she'll have to connect once he's born!

PunkyBooster

No one. We won't share with this one either. If ds asks I would ask him for ideas and leave it at that.

amy006

I haven't really decided how secret I want it to be. DH has already told people at work all about the names on our list. The only person I've talked names with other than him is my mom...and that was a mistake. She works with kids and has all kinds of opinions, mostly which are influenced by the individual kids she knows. She hates pretty much all of our name choices but she will just have to get over it because we just don't really like her faves, Lucas or Haley.

Mrs.Leah.Maria

I have only slipped one name in consideration with 4 babies and it came back to bite me. Friends and family snooping these boards are as close as they get to seeing our names prior to the baby being named.

vjdk07

When I wan pregnant with DS, I told my mother the two names we had narrowed it down to and she literally turned her nose up at the name that was my favorite (and ultimately ended up using) and I decided after that, if we ever have another, it will be a secret until he/she is born.