Question for the Twin Mommies

BabyVDM

I haven't been able to get on here much.  I feel a little guilty when the girls are sitting here with me not looking at them or interacting with them.  Which is my problem and what I need a little help with.

My twin girls are just about 8 weeks (adjusted age of 5). My Mom has been with us and helping me to care for the babies, but she left 2 days ago.  I am alone with the babies.  I am managing the feeding, changing, burping aspects.  But I am concerned about ensuring I give them enough so they can grow and meet their developmental milestones.  (just to be clear, I am not rushing them.  I just want to make sure they get what they need from me to meet them on their own time)

I am afraid that I do not know how to give them each enough interaction, cuddle, and comfort.  I keep trying to figure this out.  But all I can think of is that somehow by trying to divide my time between them I am not giving either of them any quality time.

I can't figure out how to give Beatrice tummy time while I am comforting a crying Patricia.  I don't know how to coo coo and talk to Patricia when I need to cuddle Beatrice and vice versa.  I want to hold and talk to them but I feel like I can't do that at all.  They either sit in their chairs sleeping or when they are awake staring at the ceiling while I am busy taking care of the immediate physical needs of the other baby. 

I have worried about this since I found out I was carrying twins.  Patricia is finally large enough for a baby carrier/wrap.  Beatrice is still to small.  Even so, not sure that is going to be very helpful.

How are you managing this?  Is it unrealistic?  Is it even possible?

teachermommy9967

I have 2 year old twin girls I remember worrying about the same thing. But try not to worry when they are both fed and changed then lay them together on a playmat or blanket and do tummy time together. When you feed them tell them stories and just talk to them. It gets easier as They get older and despite me similar worries my girls reached all of their milestones and are thriving today at 2yrs old.

jennybean80

Frankly I think we stress out way too much about meeting all the extras (tummy time, activity mat time, books etc). When you have more than one kid (twins, or a baby and older kid/kids) it's impossible to do everything - and second babies seem to do just fine! Plus as they get older and start interacting more with each other they will copy and reinforce new skills with their twin!
You're doing great! Don't beat yourself up!!

Mcsweets

I could have wrote this myself.  I worry so much about not getting enough quality time with them because I'm worrying about the bottle that needs washed or what time they ate last or one is freaking out or spitting up ... you name it!!!

ntdane

There were some great suggestions above. I would just add to take your one-on-one moments as they come. If one baby wakes up before the other use that time to snuggle, talk, or play with toys. It really all will even out in the end. As long as they are fed, cared for, and loved, you're doing a great job. It will also get easier to interact with both at the same time when they get older, plus they'll have each other to play with.

BabyVDM

Thanks for the feedback. 

I know I need to give myself a break. 

I think the biggest problem I am having is that I'm not talking much all day and I know I need to and i'm not really even sure what to do when they are awake and alert.  I'm just feeling like they are going to suffer for it.

The very very very sad thing is I have a degree in early childhood education.  I studied this, I worked it for 4 years during university.  But that was so long ago I forgot it all.  I don't even know where to start. 

Feeling rather pathetic

Mcsweets

@BabyVDM - lol you're not pathetic - you're a new mom - just like all of us You're always the hardest on yourself.  I almost feel better that they're going to daycare!  The lady watching them has had 9 kids so I feel like she knows what she's doing.  If I screw up royally - hopefully she will be the saving grace lol

shira49

My girls are 7 years old, and I felt the same way!  When people identified themselves as twins, I always asked them if they felt neglected by their moms, and the answer was always "No."