Expectations vs. Reality

jennbaylor12

pepperedmoth said:

I guess I am the outlier---everything is EASIER than I thought it would be! Soooooooooo many people told me how crazy hard it would be that I was mentally prepped for WWIII. It's not like that at all! Most days shit (dishes, laundry) gets done, baby and mama stay reasonably cheerful (mama has gotten some good reading time in!), and we get out of the house for some fun or errands.

So much better than I had dared hope!

This is pretty much me! House stays pretty much clean, dinner is made almost every night, LO and I are dressed and a I have makeup on when DH gets home from work, errands get run, etc. Some days are really hard but I don't let myself get too caught up in it

kaking78

I'd like to add that I never imagined one tiny person could generate so much laundry.

BethRN1987

I never realized how hard if a time my husband would have with all this. He worries about everything. He can't accept that she will just fuss for no reason sometimes. He wants to " fix" things. A lot if that probably has to do with Sloan getting sick 30 hours after being home

He also really doesn't do well with less sleep- he needs 7-8. But then feels bad if I'm the only one doing baby care. I don't know how to help him. I could take all the feeds- not a problem. In use to no sleep anyway.

matitice

I totally didn't expect to be depressed as I am about the idea of returning back to work. Just the thought of not waking up with LO & hanging everyday together even when he's a fussy beast & nothing I do makes him happy makes me so sad! I was totally gung-Ho about returning to work at least part-time before I had him. Now I think it's a terrible idea & want DH to get a 2nd job so I don't have to work at all. I mostly don't mean that cause he needs to spend time with LO too.
When I had DD I was 17 & didn't feel quite this way. I mean I wasn't itching to get back to the halls of high school or anything but I was dead-set on not letting me having a baby so young define me. I felt like I needed to prove that I wasn't just another teen mom high school drop out so I worked my butt off finishing high school, going straight into college, getting a job, & being a mom. I didn't have a social life until I was 22! Now however I have nothing to prove & just want to be home with my baby. Everyone called it that I'd feel this way but I was adamant that I wanted to be a working mom. Boy was I wrong!

coreyeliz

I didn't realize how much I'd be alone. I knew DH's work hours were crazy, but I guess I just didn't internalize it. The loneliness has taken me by surprise.

amholley1

That it would be so easy to just take DD out every day for a walk. This baby weight was supposed to come off easily. That is a huge joke. I also didn't realize how much of this mothering stuff actually does come naturally to you once the baby is here. I didn't think I would be FF at this point either.

One of this biggest ones too is that I didn't realize how much Id come to rely on this board and you ladies to help keep my sanity. I'm so glad I made the decision to be more active and actually get to know you all. I feel lonely being a west coast bumpie though because you all live in a different state than me!

PerkyErky

amholley1 said:

That it would be so easy to just take DD out every day for a walk. This baby weight was supposed to come off easily. That is a huge joke. I also didn't realize how much of this mothering stuff actually does come naturally to you once the baby is here. I didn't think I would be FF at this point either.

One of this biggest ones too is that I didn't realize how much Id come to rely on this board and you ladies to help keep my sanity. I'm so glad I made the decision to be more active and actually get to know you all. I feel lonely being a west coast bumpie though because you all live in a different state than me!

I'm a west coast bumpie too

amholley1

@PerkyErky‌!! What state?! Ahhhh yay west coast bumpies!!

VanessaBee

I thought I would love the newborn stage and want it to last forever. I don't. I can't wait for him to be a little olde and do more.

KariB509

I expected to be able to get stuff done and have more alone time with DS while she napped. DS was a pretty good napper and would nap for hours in his bouncer or swing. In reality, LO needs to be rocked for at least 30 mins and it's a crap shoot as to how long she'll stay asleep. I never get stuff done!

On a more positive note, I expected to be exhausted, have to wake up multiple times a night, and basically just be up all night. In reality I'm not exhausted, she only wakes up twice a night, sometimes even once, and I'm not up all night. That makes up for her not napping during the day!

PerkyErky

@amholley1‌ I'm in Oregon. How about you?

amholley1

@PerkyErky‌ I'm in Southern California. My brother currently lives in Portland!

maganonymous

I didn't read all the posts so someone may have said this. I expected that I would just be DYING to go back to work. Now I am fearing the end of May because I don't want to leave her and go back! I never thought I would love being a mommy so much. DH is waiting to hear about a promotion...I'm really hoping he gets it because I will be dropping down to part-time status not long afterward!!!