Suspended

kescalera

SS12 got a two-day suspension from school yesterday for telling his teacher "F**k you" because he was mad at her 
:-?

His mom gave him a whoopin' and grounded him at her house. We agreed he's grounded at our house too and no secondary whoopin' is required. We're all a little shocked he would even think something like that let alone say it out loud. He's usually so much better behaved. I do get we're heading into some rough teenage years, complicated by multiple households & family dynamics but yeesh, 12 years old! Seems a little early to be cussing at the teacher.

myskyegirl

I'm sorry to hear that. Can you guys sit down with one of the school counselors with SS and find out what made him so angry to lash out like that?    

kescalera

I would love to be more involved in school with him but his mom, no matter how many times i ask, doesn't let us know about parent-teacher conferences, or any other parent involvement. I hear about them a week later from SS when I ask what he did at school. It bugs me so much! Its been a little better this year because his homeroom teacher is actually a friend of ours so I can get the inside scoop if I ask.

myskyegirl

That would piss me off if I wasn't told about parent/teacher/child things.  I obvs don't know the dynamics at home, but IMHO you husband needs to put his foot down and tell his ex he demands to be told when things happen at school good and bad. 

kescalera

I'm the only parent (out of the 4 of us) that thinks school/academic learning is really important long term. I'm always telling SS he's going to college, even if its a 2 year school or a trade/vocational college but I'd love if he did a full 4-year university. Not necessarily of what he could learn but just to learn a way of thinking and have the life experience. DH is a very smart guy but his family never valued education so its way more important to know how to take an engine apart 7 different ways than how to read the manual (I think a strong knowledge of both is fabulous).

But anywho, so they all think I'm just being weird and controlling when I push to be included in school activities. Since DH won't back me up against SS's BM, I'm fighting a losing battle half the time. Makes me so sad to see such a smart, curious mind being turned to mush. He's got a better chance of ending up on welfare, smoking pot on his mom's couch the rest of his life than being successful. GRRR! 

JessAnnJ

A two day suspension seems a bit harsh if all he did was tell the teacher FU and this is his first time doing it. I've never understood punishing kids by telling them they are not allowed to go to school. I understand it when there are safety issues but not for things like this. It seems like several days detention if that even still exists is a more appropriate punishment.

kescalera

He's been in trouble before... last year it was for punching a kid in the face... because the kid kicked him in the nuts... because SS was picking on him. I told him I agreed with the suspension then (& now) and, yes, the kid shouldn't have kicked him BUT he's been picked on so he knows how bad it feels and he kinda deserved it for being such a turd to the kid. 

He still has to do all his homework and keep up with all the work, he's just not allowed to be around the other kids at all. I think they do all suspension "in-house" these days so its not like he's gets to stay home & chill on the couch.

Litgirl77

Not sure if this will make you feel better, but I used to teach middle school and I assure you, I was told "F**k you" on several occasions. I've broken up more fights than I count - including seeing parents jump into fights. I've also gotten a death threat and had my car broken into. Good times.

 

Trust me, as a teacher, I totally understand kids get frustrated, and a verbal outburst (while not ideal) is not something I hold against a kid - unless it becomes a regular thing, of course. So hopefully this teacher is a mature human being (they aren't always…). If anything, it can sometime help build a relationship in the end, if an apology is made and the teacher is good about using that as a chance to show their student a good example of forgiving and moving on.