Support Check in-

sjn00

How is everyone doing??

tbmadeamistake

I'm doing ok, but my patience is totally shot. I seem to be able to control myself with C, which is awesome being that she's my child and toddler and all that.  But like, asshats at work who ask stupid questions...yeah no.  I've had to be really careful with my reactions.  My filter disappears pretty quickly...that or I get sad.  It's no good.

Other than that, I'm doing ok.  Mom's feeling better and that makes me super happy

jshrop

Up and down. I've had a lot of anxiety lately. I think I'm also down in the dumps because I'm so damn uncomfortable.

sjn00

jshrop said:

Up and down. I've had a lot of anxiety lately. I think I'm also down in the dumps because I'm so damn uncomfortable.

I feel this way completely right now. I am so sick of not being able to "live normally" and my anxiety is so bad lately.

sjn00

Lilygrace48 said:

I'm doing ok, but my patience is totally shot. I seem to be able to control myself with C, which is awesome being that she's my child and toddler and all that.  But like, asshats at work who ask stupid questions...yeah no.  I've had to be really careful with my reactions.  My filter disappears pretty quickly...that or I get sad.  It's no good.

Other than that, I'm doing ok.  Mom's feeling better and that makes me super happy

I am glad your mom is feeling better!! What do you think is causing your patience to be shot?

MrsP419

I am sorry I have not checked in here in a while.  I haven't had much to report, honestly.

I had really slacked off on taking my meds the past couple months.  Not intentionally; I just had been feeling so crappy that I would fall asleep before I remembered or wanted to get out of bed.  But then I started having maybe one or two intrusive thoughts, so I got right back on and have been good.  The dose I have is only a half of normal so it was easy to adapt.

I have been feeling a little more apprehensive lately.  I am nervous about how I am going to handle treating my depression once the twins come.  I already had to stop going to therapy because it is hard enough to schedule my multitude of OB/MFM appts, and I have no idea how I would be able to bring the twins to the therapist 30 mins away after having a C-section.  I don't want to forgo my treatment and I want to be proactive with avoiding PPD…but logistically I don't know what to do.  I wish my therapist made house calls…or was 5 mins away!

tbmadeamistake

@Sarajoy00, thanks, and I'm not really sure.  Generally I get anxious, not bitchy.  I will say there is one guy at work, he started there about 6 months ago, and he's decided that I am the holder of all knowledge.  While flattering, I'm not, and he's asking me shit about AR when I work in Sales Order Admin.  He's also a douchebag personally.  I think I let him get on my nerves, and I should have shut down the questioning from day one.  I know that being around him gets me going, and right now I sit next to him as I'm training my replacement so she has my normal desk.  It's a lot.  I'm also tired, not sleeping well and we have a two year old at home, and when I get tired, I get short on patience.  It's just weird, because normally I have the patience of a saint and right now it's just not there. 

I'm hoping it's just hormones and exhaustion and once Charlie is here and I'm not working that it'll ease up a bit.  Of course, that will mean I'm a full time SAHM to two, but I think once we get a good daily rhythm down, we'll be ok.  Here's hoping!

How are you doing?

sjn00

MrsP419 said:

I am sorry I have not checked in here in a while.  I haven't had much to report, honestly.

I had really slacked off on taking my meds the past couple months.  Not intentionally; I just had been feeling so crappy that I would fall asleep before I remembered or wanted to get out of bed.  But then I started having maybe one or two intrusive thoughts, so I got right back on and have been good.  The dose I have is only a half of normal so it was easy to adapt.

I have been feeling a little more apprehensive lately.  I am nervous about how I am going to handle treating my depression once the twins come.  I already had to stop going to therapy because it is hard enough to schedule my multitude of OB/MFM appts, and I have no idea how I would be able to bring the twins to the therapist 30 mins away after having a C-section.  I don't want to forgo my treatment and I want to be proactive with avoiding PPD…but logistically I don't know what to do.  I wish my therapist made house calls…or was 5 mins away!

Please make it more of an effort to take your meds. I really hope you are able to push yourself to see your therapist. It might be hard at first, but it can be do able and it is important to keep on top of it to keep yourself and your babies safe!

sjn00

Lilygrace48 said:

@Sarajoy00, thanks, and I'm not really sure.  Generally I get anxious, not bitchy.  I will say there is one guy at work, he started there about 6 months ago, and he's decided that I am the holder of all knowledge.  While flattering, I'm not, and he's asking me shit about AR when I work in Sales Order Admin.  He's also a douchebag personally.  I think I let him get on my nerves, and I should have shut down the questioning from day one.  I know that being around him gets me going, and right now I sit next to him as I'm training my replacement so she has my normal desk.  It's a lot.  I'm also tired, not sleeping well and we have a two year old at home, and when I get tired, I get short on patience.  It's just weird, because normally I have the patience of a saint and right now it's just not there. 

I'm hoping it's just hormones and exhaustion and once Charlie is here and I'm not working that it'll ease up a bit.  Of course, that will mean I'm a full time SAHM to two, but I think once we get a good daily rhythm down, we'll be ok.  Here's hoping!

How are you doing?

Thats all so reasonable. You have a lot on your plate and its hard at this stage in pregnancy. When is your last day?

tbmadeamistake

May 23. Four and a half weeks. I cannot wait!!

sjn00

Lilygrace48 said:

May 23. Four and a half weeks. I cannot wait!!

You can do it!!
Just tell him you are busy!! LoL

MrsP419

SaraJoy00 said:

I am sorry I have not checked in here in a while.  I haven't had much to report, honestly.

I had really slacked off on taking my meds the past couple months.  Not intentionally; I just had been feeling so crappy that I would fall asleep before I remembered or wanted to get out of bed.  But then I started having maybe one or two intrusive thoughts, so I got right back on and have been good.  The dose I have is only a half of normal so it was easy to adapt.

I have been feeling a little more apprehensive lately.  I am nervous about how I am going to handle treating my depression once the twins come.  I already had to stop going to therapy because it is hard enough to schedule my multitude of OB/MFM appts, and I have no idea how I would be able to bring the twins to the therapist 30 mins away after having a C-section.  I don't want to forgo my treatment and I want to be proactive with avoiding PPD…but logistically I don't know what to do.  I wish my therapist made house calls…or was 5 mins away!

Please make it more of an effort to take your meds. I really hope you are able to push yourself to see your therapist. It might be hard at first, but it can be do able and it is important to keep on top of it to keep yourself and your babies safe!

Thank you :-).  Lest I came off as things being worse than they are, I promise I am keeping aware.  The slacking off with my meds was stupid, but I did not quit them or anything; I was just being sporadic, and now that is better.  Also, my therapy was not weekly or anything, as I had/have been doing quite well.  I was maybe seeing her once a month, and it was getting more spaced out with the snow and awful weather we had been having this winter.  I did not have anything scary or a huge red flag happen; I just experienced a glimmer of anxious thoughts that let me know that I needed to step it up.  I am going to call the therapist and see if I can work out talking on the phone or something.  I want to be able to see her, and am not trying to avoid that or make excuses.  It will be difficult logistically with two newborns and a c-section recovery, but I am sure DH and I will find a way if it is essential (or if I am doing OK, wait til I have recovered before beginning again).  I am very open with DH and friends about how I am doing, and I definitely know my warning signs far out, and I promise I am in a good place now and am trying to proactively figure out how to go forward in light of all these changes coming up!

sjn00

MrsP419 said:

SaraJoy00 said:

MrsP419 said:

I am sorry I have not checked in here in a while.  I haven't had much to report, honestly.

I had really slacked off on taking my meds the past couple months.  Not intentionally; I just had been feeling so crappy that I would fall asleep before I remembered or wanted to get out of bed.  But then I started having maybe one or two intrusive thoughts, so I got right back on and have been good.  The dose I have is only a half of normal so it was easy to adapt.

I have been feeling a little more apprehensive lately.  I am nervous about how I am going to handle treating my depression once the twins come.  I already had to stop going to therapy because it is hard enough to schedule my multitude of OB/MFM appts, and I have no idea how I would be able to bring the twins to the therapist 30 mins away after having a C-section.  I don't want to forgo my treatment and I want to be proactive with avoiding PPD…but logistically I don't know what to do.  I wish my therapist made house calls…or was 5 mins away!

Please make it more of an effort to take your meds. I really hope you are able to push yourself to see your therapist. It might be hard at first, but it can be do able and it is important to keep on top of it to keep yourself and your babies safe!

Thank you :-).  Lest I came off as things being worse than they are, I promise I am keeping aware.  The slacking off with my meds was stupid, but I did not quit them or anything; I was just being sporadic, and now that is better.  Also, my therapy was not weekly or anything, as I had/have been doing quite well.  I was maybe seeing her once a month, and it was getting more spaced out with the snow and awful weather we had been having this winter.  I did not have anything scary or a huge red flag happen; I just experienced a glimmer of anxious thoughts that let me know that I needed to step it up.  I am going to call the therapist and see if I can work out talking on the phone or something.  I want to be able to see her, and am not trying to avoid that or make excuses.  It will be difficult logistically with two newborns and a c-section recovery, but I am sure DH and I will find a way if it is essential (or if I am doing OK, wait til I have recovered before beginning again).  I am very open with DH and friends about how I am doing, and I definitely know my warning signs far out, and I promise I am in a good place now and am trying to proactively figure out how to go forward in light of all these changes coming up!

This makes me happy to read!! Maybe since your csection will be scheduled you can go see your therapist a day or two before you go in and then see her again 2-4-6 weeks after? Depending on how you feel and what you need. Maybe your husband can drive you and the babies there while you see her and ghen drive you back? Even if you are able to do it over the phone that would also be great. Im sure it will all work itself out. I hope your therapist is willing to work with you!!

jshrop

I started to post this in the symptoms thread and realized it would be more appropriate here. Regarding feeling more emotional: I've been pretty solid this whole pregnancy, even as my husband has been dealing with his own depression. The last couple of days I've been more anxious and teary. This morning he noticed I was about to start a book about PPD. We were talking about risks, what we might expect (I have a hx of depression too). He asked about different examples of ppd. He said to me (jokingly) "if you ever hurt our kid... I'm taking that arm." I started to cry and said I hope he would take a lot more than that if I ever hurt her. I then asked him to promise if he ever saw me too overwhelmed or stressed out that he would call my best friend to take the baby away for an hour or two so I can regroup, because knowing myself I won't ask for it even if I need it. He agreed and hugged me. Even now, hours later I'm crying remembering this discussion.


for the record, I have alerted my midwife to my mental health history, my mil will be with us for at least the first week, and my husband is aware and attuned to my emotional state (he's often clued that something is wrong before I am). It's just something that worries me and makes me anxious. Hubs tells me he's absolutely not concerned and he knows I'm going to be a fantastic mom. Anyone else feeling the sudden, overwhelming concern about PPD? I don't know why I'm feeling so crazy about it right now, this morning I felt great.... Now, anxious.