Stress related depression

WolfBride87

Hello all, I apologize beforehand if this post is in the wrong category but I did not see one that my post would fit into.

I am 31 weeks pregnant with my first child and it's a new and scary experience for me on top of the fact that I've been dealing with a lot of turmoil since the beginning. I don't have much of a support system and have been having some issues with my fiance and quite frankly it's left me very depressed and hurt. What's worse is that I've posted on a forum on another site for advice on dealing with my difficult mate and every comment made was very judgemental despite which facts I clearly laid out. I'm not the type of person to overreact and I truly try to be calm since stress has had adverse affects on my pregnancy and I am also open minded. It just hurts when you try to reach out and people treat you like you're scum. Maybe I wasn't clear enough about what I was trying to say but it seems like I'm always setting myself up to be judged negatively by people when I truly just want help. I know venting to strangers online isn't always beneficial because there are people who are ignorant and judgmental but when you really feel so down and you need to reach out what other choice do you have? I don't normally let people get to me but the posts really made me feel horrible and humiliated. I can't seem to shrug all these things off like usual and it's breaking my heart. Anyone else feel this way?

Helenahhandbasket

First, sorry you are feeling stressed and depressed.  I think a lot of people can relate to that.

I am not sure of your actual question though-- are you asking if anyone has a hard time shrugging of comments made to them on this site?

WolfBride87

It was on a different site similar to this one. What I am asking is has anyone ever had negative experiences with getting help and/ or advice from others in a forum setting and how did they handle it. I apologize, I kind of rambled off and muddied up the question.

jesuisfatiguee

If people are just being assholes, I usually ignore them and don't return to the thread (or the forum, depending on how big it is). If it seems that people genuinely misunderstood me and are responding negatively based on that misunderstanding, I try to clarify as much as possible, while trying to be humble about it. I am not the most articulate person (obviously), so I am not shocked when people misunderstand me from time to time.

You also might want to consider reaching out to a more mental health oriented forum rather than a general message board. Those types of forums are more often heavily moderated and the posters tend to be more compassionate and empathetic. There is plenty of compassion on this board, but its primary purpose is not to act as a support group to those suffering from mental illness.

Hope that helps.

NarwhalBacon

I'm sorry you are stressed out and feeling depressed.

I'm also sorry that if you truly were asking for advice and laid everything out on the table that people were judging your situation. 

I can tell you that if you come to Parenting looking for advice, you will get it; whether that be compassion or tough love depends on the details of the situation and how proactive you are willing to be to change it. 

I can say, the only time I've recieved negative feedback it made me realize I was being ridiculous and needed to be told so.

WolfBride87

Thanks and you are right, I felt like I was misunderstood in that post even though I though I was pretty clear. I did as you suggested and just ignored the replies and didn't return to the post. No sense in getting worked up for something so little.

WolfBride87

Thanks again to all, your replies help me settle down a bit and were very thoughtful and informative.