Ten Things Tuesday!

KH826

Happy Tuesday Everyone!

Please share with us any 10 things on your mind today. Anything at all. Ready, set, GO!

AandStilltrying

1. Nervous about a parent/teacher/principal meeting in a few minutes.
2. Feeling sad that my closest friend here is moving 9 hrs away to Nashville.
3. Love that weather is warm but hate being back to work in my "jail cell" of a classroom with no windows.
4. Nervous/excited/anxious for insemination on Thursday.
5. We have 6 follicles that are "mature".
6. Sarah's estridol level was 1135.
7. A little worried about HOM but since we tried with 4-5 eggs and estridol at 500 something and got a bfn, maybe I shouldn't worry as much?
8. Tonight's my first therapy session.
9. I have to work Sat. School the next 2 Sat. Because of stupid snow days.
10. My next door neighbor is due any day now with twin girls....and she has a 1 year old baby girl already. GOOD LUCK!

trisholio

1. Baby K slept from 9pm to 6am this morning.  I only got up once during that time to pee.  I woke up feeling like a normal person instead of a zombie.  I am hoping all of this work 'sleep training' her is finally paying off.

2. I am ready to start getting some sleep and getting my life back in order, for a few months at least. 

3, We are still trying to find the perfect place to move at the end of June.  I am starting to stress out a little that we won't find something.

4. I had a cavity and had to get a filling yesterday.  The entire side of my face still hurts and is giving me a headache.  I am never doing that again while pregnant, it sucks!

5. Baby K is crawling everywhere and she has even started trying to pull herself up on things.  I love seeing her learn and grow, but then there are the accidents and getting hurt part.  Last night she hit her face on the coffee table and bruised her lip.  I hate the super clumsy stage where they get hurt all the time :-(

6. M is talking so much more and is miss independant.  She is so animated and affectionate.  I enjoy seeing her learn all the time, but she knows how to test my patience for sure!

7. Bio mom didn't show up for the visit last week, thank goodness my mom was off work and it was a distraction to go see "Gigi".  I am pretty sure M would have thrown a massive fit about leaving the visitation center if we were just going home.  It was heartbreaking for me that the mom could just forget.

8. My family spoiled these girls for Easter.  They got multiple baskets, did two easter egg hunts and lots of love, attention and just plain spoiled by both families.  I am thankful that most of the baskets are not candy, but other fun stuff for them.  I am sure I will end up end up eating most of the candy anyway :-)

9. I seem to be craving a lot of comfort food lately instead of sweets.  I am not which is worse, but I am just thankful I haven't gained any weight yet.

10. I am 21 weeks today, over half way there!!  That is so exciting and so scary!!

Jazibel

1. 39 weeks today and so excited to be in the home stretch.  A friend posted her newborn photos on Facebook last night/this morning.  The baby is so cute and I'm so happy for their family.  I have 2 other friends all due right around now, so I'm looking forward to more updates.

2. Had a great Acupuncture session last night, it was so relaxing to go lay under the heat lamp in the quiet for an hour. My Acupuncturist is so skilled - probably the best I've worked with thus far. I had cupping done for the first time, among other things to stimulate labor and prep my body. Come on Owen. ;-)

3. I picked up books for Kaden on my way home from the library, this morning he's paged through them almost all morning with short breaks to eat, help me sweep around his sandbox, dig in the garage for a new pack of checks and printer ink...  When EV went to leave he cried and ran to hug her legs.  Ugh so cute and heartbreaking simultaneously. 

4. I am determined to have a rockstar day.  I'm going to work really hard on my project, finish random things around the house, and try to make a Japanese noodle soup.

5. Hopefully there's time for a nap in that schedule. Kaden has been waking up at 5:30am.

6. We have a midwife appointment this afternoon. I love our midwives but I almost wish I could skip it.  Can't we just get together when the contractions start???  (We had our last appointment rescheduled to last Thursday, and I saw our midwife R over the weekend at our childbirth class). 

7.  I hear crinkling and am hoping Kaden is not in the garage playing with the bag of organic potting soil.....  Nope - Phew!!!

8. I can't believe we're having a baby. I know - late stage denial.  But it seems so surreal that in days or weeks we'll be meeting a new little person, another member of our family....

9.  I am truly in love with my life right now.

10. My wife is the best. I love that we chat each other over gmail when we're in the same house.  Last night we had a funny and gross conversation about labor related stuff. I could hear her laughing upstairs (I'm sure she could hear me giggling too).  It's these little things that have made our relationship so special to me over the years.

Manada

Jazibel said:

Can't we just get together when the contractions start???

hahaha - this made me LOL.

KH826

1. We are meeting our potential pediatrician tonight! I am nervous and excited. Not sure why...

2. Said meeting with the pediatrician is not until 7:30pm, so it will be a late-ish night. Not sure when/where dinner is going to happen...

3. Next OB appointment is tomorrow. I am anxious to see if baby is still breech. At this moment I think she is. I also need to talk to my OB about the tons of Braxton Hicks I have been having the last couple of days. Baby better not be getting any ideas about an early arrival - we are sooooo not ready.

4. The dresser/changing table my wife ordered was delivered this AM, and apparently my wife can't get it up the stairs into the nursery because it is too heavy... She is now begging for someone to come help her move it tomorrow night. Ugh!

5. I am supposed to see the nursery for the first time on Saturday before our baby shower. I am excited, but I also don't think it will be done...

6. In true procrastination fashion, I decided I want to give thank you gifts to our moms, close friend and sister-in-law that planned and helped with the shower on Saturday... I just sent a bunch of ideas to my wife, but I have a feeling she will veto all of them...

7. Thank goodness it is almost lunchtime. I am mega starving!

8. 34 weeks pregnant today!

9. I need to buy nursing bras and I am oddly nervous about this... I have been putting it off...

10. Annnnnd another BH contraction. What the heck baby?!?!?

JGY

1.  This might take me all day to complete.

2. Actually, probably not.  I have motivation in that I lurk on a certain other board on TB and there is always some funny stuff going down and I hate missing it.

3. I'm really happy about the discussion that is taking place on my "Parenting question for all ..." thread.  I'd love to see more of these conversations take place.  I have a feeling that once some of these babies get out here in the world, we might see that.  I hope.

4. @jazibel whenever I hear about "Cupping" I can only think of The Princess Bride and that awful torture machine that they use on Wesley.  I'm pretty sure that's not what you had done to you.

5. My in-laws are here helping fix something at the house and I just really LOVE having them around.  I love my own parents as well, but S's parents take almost no effort, and are so SO helpful.  It would deeply wound my Mom to think that she's not as helpful, but it's true.  Now I feel like a terrible daughter.  Ugh.

6. My in-laws have 4 grandsons and 1 great-grandson.  My MIL has stated that Gabe is "MUCH" more active than any of the others.  For some reason this makes me feel better, like my struggles with him are legitimate and not just about me being an inept parent.

7. I was just saying how nice it has been to have Gabe all healthy for the last 6 weeks or so.  Then this morning, bam, he wakes up coughing with green snot all over his face.  Awesome.  Cue ear infection.

8. S has to take a work trip in a few weeks, followed up by another week of continuing education.  I've asked my Mom if she would like to visit during that time, which would really help me out.  I'm feeling like a better daughter again.  And I'm truly excited for her to come.

9. Not only does my kid absolutely LOVE raw tomatoes, but he also really digs spicy food.  He's such a weirdo.  Buffalo chicken lasanga ... can't stuff it into his face fast enough.

10. Speaking of lasagna ... time for lunch (almost)!  Yay!

Manada

1.  I had a hard morning.  I haven't been sleeping well lately and getting up has been nearly impossible.   I whined, and nearly threw up (because that's what my body does now when it's unhappy), and cried to H. about how my life was just feeling "sooooo hard".    H. is a great partner and loves me and feeds me and promises me naps when I get home tonight.

2.  We FINALLY finished our Thank You cards from our Love Party (last summer - yikes!) last weekend.   I'm horribly embarrassed about how late they are, but oh well.  I'm glad to get them out the door this week.

3.  Twin Pregnancy is HARD WORK.  Holy Moly.  I had no idea how fast all the growing would happen.   I will PIP a pic of my actual "bump" now, but I am estimating that at 12w6d it's about the size of a 17 week singleton bump!  

4.  We have now been offered 2 baby showers!   We'll be having a family one in late June hosted by my mom and sister, and a friend/local one in July probably hosted by good friends of ours!   I actually was worried for awhile that we wouldn't have one because my sister (who I thought would be the logical host) is going to South America for the summer to do some NGO Volunteer work. 

5.  I am selling my beautiful, fantastic, amazing road bike today    I love this bike so hard it's not even funny, but I just don't need or do the road biking that it's built for anymore.   It's so hard to let go of because I suspect it's among my most prized possessions (even though I don't ride it as much).

6.  I am having what feels like carpal tunnel/tendon pain in my ring finger today (below mid-joint and into my hand).  It's driving me crazy and I am having trouble typing because of it.  I just made a makeshift splint to hopefully rest it - no idea what to do if I am not allowed to take advil for these things!  Have moved my wedding ring to my right hand for now....

7.  I just googled it.  This pain is probably carpal tunnel related, which gets bad in pregnancy.  Awesome.  

8.  I need to work to connect with this pregnancy more.  It's like my love for the Rockies and my vision of having babies is disconnected for me from the experience of actually being pregnant.  They feel very separate and distinct so far.  Anyone identify with this?  Been there?  It changes right?  I just keep thinking it will change more on its own as things progress....

9. Bump Shout Outs: @trisholio - I think it's really cool that your family has included the girls and that you guys have embraced them as yours, if even for now.   I have dreams of one day Fostering kids and feel like it's really important to create a good space for them, even if only temporary.    @doodah1013 and @firstcomeslove2013 -- HURRAH again!  

And to all of you due soon, we're waiting with you!

10.  Ah, have hit my sweet spot of the day:  That period between 10:30am and 3:30pm when I'm both awake, alert, and not so tired that keeping my head up feels like the most burdensome feeling in the world!   #thingstheydon'treallytellyouaboutpregnancy

Jazibel

@JGY - LOL :-)  It was suctioning these ceramic cups (the size of small tea cups) to my back. I think the cups are heated so the hot air inside creates a suction. It is a little uncomfortable at first, but heck so is waddling around all day ;-)

@Manada - I totally understand the feeling of being disconnected between the actual experience of physically being pregnant and the excitement of having your babies grow.  I've been there for days and weeks. In fact I feel like that right now. I want to slow down and "enjoy the journey" but part of me is also just so over it.  Not that I don't want the absolute best for Owen, but I'm tired, achy, crampy, etc. etc. etc.... ;-)

Jazibel

@crazyaunt84 - don't worry I rarely saw the iguana's.  They're primarily vegetarian I think.  Before we moved EV had me pack a huge bug catching net. I totally laughed and said it was a waste of space.  Until we got there and used it nearly daily to catch bugs that crept into our house.  And let me clarify, EV does not catch bugs at all she say's "someone is here to see you". Eeeeek.  House spiders here in CA don't even phase me any more.  :-)

shelly2314

1. I am EX-HAUS-TED! It just never seems to end!  I am very busy with work (and with growing our two little beans!!!) right now as I am in administration in a high school and a major responsibility of testing for state wide assessments fall on me.  It is overwhelming with so much to account for and also take care of myself.

2. We had a lovely Sedar meal with my family and also celebrated my dad's birthday this weekend. I love that my wife and family get along so well....I also crave my mother's homemade matzo ball soup. It is amazing!

3. I am in preparing a surprise birthday party I am throwing for my wife this weekend.  The biggest surprise is that it is a Happy 40th bday, and she will only be 39. However, 39 is hitting her pretty hard so I figured if I could make a funny out of it she could laugh it off easier.  She has a great sense of humor so we shall see.....

4. Small rant here....if you are an adult, please behave like one. Why must ppl pick fights with teenagers? Especially teens that you know are living in conditions that you could not possibly even understand and have no sense of self.  It just kills me that I see this daily, especially in the teaching profession

5. We are putting in a pool. Hopefully we should be getting started in the next two weeks. I am very excited about this.  I plan to sit my very pregnant behind in there all summer!

6. My poor pups are starting to get very clingy.  My boxer was doing well up until this past weekend and our pit has been needy for the last 4 weeks.  Everytime I sit down and either don't have a shirt on or it rises up, the pit comes and sticks his nose in my belly button and licks me. It is sweet! But oh, the neediness LOL

7. Bought a new phone this weekend. I think phone companies design their phones to start to die right around your 2 year renewal. I really didn't want to switch phones, but mine was not allowing me to answer calls, freezing whenever it felt like it, and running REALLY slow. So now I am a proud?? owner of a Galaxy S5. It does work nicely...runs fast, is pretty-you know, the requirements of a good phone LOL

8. I think I am about to blow this popsicle stand. My work is done for today and I am really tired so I think I will go ask the boss if I can go early...fingers crossed!

9. With that, I will have to end my TTT rants and randoms.

2momsinCA

@CrazyAunt84‌ K's family has a house on the Cape so we go every summer!! It's wonderful and the perfect summer vacation! First off, you must spend at least a full day, if not several, in Provincetown and enjoy this gay Mecca of the east coast. Eat at Lobster Pot and shop the shops. I also recommend checking out the view from the top of the Pilgrim Monument and this is also the best area to enjoy the sand dunes and the Cape Cod National Seashore.

The best towns, IMHO, are also Truro/Wellfleet (there is a winery there and it's artsy), Chatham, Orleans, Hyannis, Sandwich, and Wood's Hole (where you get the ferry to the Vineyard). I think it's important to spend a day on Martha's Vineyard and see the gingerbread houses and all the beaches there are better than the mainland ones. If you can get to Nantucket too, do it!

Feel free to pm me if you want to talk specifics once you know which town you will be staying in!!

@Manada‌ I do know exactly how you feel about being disconnected. For the first 14 weeks of pregnancy I didn't show at all I just felt like crap. I was overjoyed with "being pregnant" but not real clear on if I had a connection to the lives inside me. It seemed more like a flu with indigestion than a pregnancy. I didn't start feeling a major deeper connection to the reality of these babies as actual lives until I started to feel them kicking. I actually feel one right now. I think as their activity level has has become apparent and constant, my awareness of them as humans has grown and deepened and I feel this flood of love for them. It also helped that we settled on names for them and will talk to them as individuals rather than "the babies." Not sure if that makes sense, but I think this pregnancy journey comes with all kinds of mixed emotions and new realizations of what's to come.

2MamazInSeattle

1. It's our last full day in paradise, though tomorrow our flight isn't until 3 p.m. so we are going to pretend it's not over until around noon when we have to pack up and head out.

2. @jazibel, yesterday J brought up our fabulous trip to Roatan, and said we should go again! You should give us a heads up if/when you and EV head there. Be so fun to meet up, and it is such an amazing (cheap!!) place. I felt like it was Hawaii for 1/2 the price. I showed J one of your preggo pix and she was like "she looks super cool!" so we really should meet up!!

3. Speaking of, this trip we have cooked almost every meal at our place! It is so amazing to have all the time in the world, and the only "chore" per se is to make dinner. And I actually LOVE to cook - so we've had a lot of grill nights and it's kept our trip much more affordable. Plus, living in such a killer restaurant town, it's hard for us to get real excited about the food here...though there's lots that is fine, just not great for the price.

4. I have been an utter slug. J had gone to the gym down the road 4 or 5 days of our time here. She is a good girl. I am not. I went for exactly 1 walk on the beach, snorkeling (which involved some swimming) and I think I stretched out in Child's Pose once. Haha!

5. We did have a mega splurge day at the spa the other day. I got a scrub that was ok for pregnancy, and then a pregnancy massage. It was lovely! J even got a treatment and loved it (though she's not really as much a spa person, she thanked me for pushing her into it). Then we went to the 'adult only' pool at the hotel for the day, for our last time! It was fun.

6. I posted some pregnancy shots J took of me on the beach on the Pregnancy Check-in, I don't want to re-post but they're there if you want to peek.

7. Snorkeling was fun but I got panicked a little when we were in some shallow coral and a big set of waves came in! I was scared I was going to scrape my belly on the coral, but I didn't - just my leg. Fortunately our friend who moved here last year, Eric, was along and he's a professional dive instructor and super safe in the water. He grabbed my hand and guided me out! J said to him "thanks for taking us to kindergarten today" since normally he takes people on serious dives.

8. There is this amazing cinnamon bun place across the street. I've gotten them three times, but split it with J each time - I'm quite proud of this as there was a day when I'd have eaten the whole thing by myself every single day! Her shop makes cinnamon buns on the weekend, but in our 8 years together, I've never had one!! She said that was crazy, but they sell out and I didn't want to take one from a paying customer. So we'll just have to go to Maui for cinnamon buns.

9. @Manada, hang in there. Being pregnant is not easy - singleton or twins - and the carpel tunnel happened a bit for me when I was swollen up after flying. Anything you can do to reduce swelling (lower salt, etc.) can help with the swelling on the nerves. Not always, but it can't hurt. I hope you feel better soon - second tri is almost here!

10. @doodah1013 & @firstcomeslove2013 - SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bonus PIP: Eric had a waterproof case on his phone and snapped this one of us!

redrockmama

1. I'm so over this cold. I just want to be able to breathe and sleep again. 

2. My wife got called back for a 2nd interview for the Executive Director position. The interview is Thursday and I have everything crossed that she gets it. 

3. My mom is frustrating me. I asked how her Easter was and she said that she was conducting an experiment and the results were sad. WTF. If you want to have your kids over for Easter, invite them! J and I would have stayed at home and been sick together, but my grandma invited us for dinner, so we went. UGH! I can't handle her drama sometimes.

4. I'm so tired, I just want to go home and sleep, only 5 more hours.

5. Our friend is throwing us a baby shower and found special 2 mom baby shower invites a woman makes on etsy. Maybe it shouldn't matter, but I was surprised that she did it and of course thought it was really sweet. 

6. I thought I was getting better, but now I am just feeling sicker and sicker. Maybe I should take a day off...or a half day.

7. We met the woman my dad is dating this weekend. It was weird. We (the kids) started talking about my stepmom and she, not surprisingly, seemed really uncomfortable. 

8. She reminded me a lot more of my mom than my my stepmom, which was really weird and confusing. 

9. Bubbles is moving so much these days. It blows me away sometimes, especially since I thought movement would slow down with less space to  move. Yesterday it felt like he was using my uterus as a punching bag in all directions for a full 5 minutes. I wonder if these means we are going to have a super active baby/kiddo?

10. I can never figure out what position he is in either. I feel stuff all over and two ballish spots, or sometimes one. Maybe he is just a spinning fool. 

2momsinCA

1. I want to go back to Hawaii. @2MamazInSeattle‌'s travel writing has me missing this islands. K and I went about 5 years ago. It's a perfect paradise. K's family has been making annual trips to Oahu lately and I hope we can join them some year soon with the twins.

2. I think I'm happy with my current size and ready for my belly to stay as-is for the next 3 months. I get constant comments, my belly button is a big ol outtie, and I've grown out of the first pair of maternity jeans that I bought. So I'm good here...

3. Work is chugging along so slowly today. I'm working with two students who are actually quite well behaved, which slows the day down. I'm use to behaviors.

4. I'm very happy for the fabulous ultrasound results posted today by @doodah1013‌ and @rkbo‌. I remember physically shaking and crying with joy at that first ultrasound. Amazing feeling.

5. I still have stabby pain under my right shoulder blade and right breast. But it's only when I sit for too long. I feel good when I walk, stand, or lay down. My doctor says it's just my rib cage growing to accommodate the babies and organs. It's awful. Did/does anyone else have rib cage pain?

6. I'm now fully hoping that K does not sign her teaching contract for next year and is a sahm for our boys first year. Money would be tight, we'd have to move, but I think it's worth it.

7. I've managed to lose my trusty glass water bottles twice in the last month. Is this pregnancy brain? I had the same water bottle (goes with me everywhere) for a year then I lost it, replaced it, lost the replacement two weeks later (last week). I'm now on my third. I hate losing things.

8. It's hard to think of 10 things

9. K had started reading bed time stories to the twins every night. We always have children's books around (as teachers) and k reads to them and seriously they will kick at the sound of her voice.

10. K and I just completed an art project for the boys. We have a nautical/Cape Cod theme for the nursery and we made letter canvases (4x6) for each letter in their names. Some of the art is in that pic... And there ya go, those are the names.

ball.and.chain

1. Tonight my wife is dragging me to the Red Sox game and I am sooo not feeling it. I want to be in jammies and horizontal.

2. We have a Wellness Room at work which is mostly used for moms who pump, but it has a couch and I keep thinking about taking a nap in there on my lunch break. I guess I thought it would take longer for the third trimester fatigue to set in, but I consider myself lucky that that is really my biggest complaint right now!

3. I am eating a lot of crap today, which probably isn't helping. Staff Appreciation breakfast (pastries and bagels), cupcakes to celebrate a co-worker's birthday, probably a hot dog for dinner...at least I got salad for lunch.

4. Fortunately we have kept up with our daily walking routine...and have to walk 45 minutes each way to and from Fenway, so that will help. Hopefully I won't have a RLP attack like I did on my walk the other day.

5. My dad said to my wife and me on Easter, "You take care of your 401ks, we'll take care of the 529." Can I get that in writing??? I'm going to file it under "too good to be true."

6. Mr. Baby is tickling my side.

7. Very excited for Squinter and the Nerd!

8. @redrockmama -- one of my pg books said that in the beginning of third tri, they are at their most active because they are developed enough to be fairly strong but still have plenty of room to move. I do think the movement will slow down as space fills up in there, but for now I am experiencing a similar burst of activity.

9. @CrazyAunt84, where on the Cape will you be staying? I have a few recs but they aren't necessarily worth going out of your way for. Let me know and I'll see if they are close. I agree with PP; I do recommend going to Provincetown either way, especially if you haven't been -- it's definitely unique and there are beautiful beaches. Even if you aren't staying too close, there's enough there to make a day trip of it.

10. Time to get some work done. Happy Tuesday everybody!

ball.and.chain

@2momsinca...we are also doing a nautical nursery and are also having a Ben(jamin). Cute!

2momsinCA

@ball.and.chain thats awesome! And you're going to the Fenway tonight (I'm jealous)! We found a Red Sox alphabet poster on etsy that we will probably put up in the nursery as well. Trying to work in as much New England as we can without it being obnoxious.

healz413

1. I feel very much on the brink of tears today. I'm not sure how much of it is hormones, how much of it is stress, and how much of it is something else.

2. I'm really thinking about putting my dissertation on pause and getting a part time or full time job. If I were to get a part time job, I wouldn't have to put my dissertation fully on pause until the babies come.

3. I feel like I'm sitting in a small metal chair in a metal room and the walls and ceiling are closing in on me in terms of my dissertation, the not-so-swell job prospects after theoretical completion, and the the coming of the Rockies. I also feel like I spent six years of my life getting all set up in that chair ...

4. I get sad when I think about not becoming a professor, so I can only really think about getting a non-academic job if I also think about coming back to finish my dissertation within a few years.

5. I am SO excited for @firstcomeslove2013 and @doodah1013. I'm also very excited for @rkbo (yay for the nerd!!). We've actually connected with firstcomeslove and doodah off the bump quite a bit, though, so I know them better and feel more personally invested there.

6. As @Manada mentioned, in the last 3 days we've gone from wondering if we'd get anyone volunteering to throw us a shower before september to having two showers in the works. I'm so excited. I feel like posting about this makes me feel superficial, but we need help with some baby purchases. Also we didn't do any engagement parties, wedding showers, bachelor/ette parties, etc. before our Love Party, so I do like the idea of someone throwing us a party.

7. Our dog has fully graduated herself from her crate. She used to get anxious and destructive when we'd be gone so she slept in her crate whenever we were gone and at night. But once we got pregnant she started "refusing" to go into her crate (it had never been an issue before) and so we let her try staying out. She's been doing very well. Also, she doesn't sleep as well when we're gone and she's not in her crate so she spends more of the time when we are home sleeping (which is wonderful when you have a large high energy dog).

8. In addition to M's bike, we are selling our large 4x4 Ikea Expedit shelving unit. It has been very useful but it takes up sooo much room in what will be the baby room.

9. I love this spring weather!

10. We might go to a baby show at the convention center this weekend. I'm sure it will be overwhelming but it might also be fun.

Jazibel

@2MamazinSeattle - I would love too!!  :-)  We talk about going back in late Summer /Fall.  You might be a bit busy....  But maybe a few months after that?  The "high season" starts in our winter.  If one of our flats is open we can stay there. Or at hotel closer to the beach.

I could use a little snorkeling time.  By the way I get totally freaked out when I get close to the reef (even not pregnant).  I'm also a little scared to snorkel alone - random fear of sharks, but I can usually talk myself through it. ;-)

holdingThumbs

@healz413 - ugh, my heart sunk when I was reading your list - I am sorry you are having a rough day. A total projection on my behalf, I admit, but the dissertating process for me was mostly awful. I was a bundle of anxious insecurity, and lost sight of the ultimate goal on a weekly (daily? hourly?) basis. Only you can determine if putting it on hold is the best thing for you & your family; give yourself the time to figure that out. For me, though, finishing turned out to be life-affirming in ways I couldn't have imagined. I am glad it can never be taken away from me, although I know I wouldn't be able to go through the process again. Be good to yourself.

holdingThumbs

(double post, sorry! Also, I see the little gear on the right side of my msg, but it won't let me edit/delete. I am taking this as a sign to go home to the puppy!)

holdingThumbs

(double post, sorry! Also, I see the little gear on the right side of my msg, but it won't let me edit/delete. I am taking this as a sign to go home to the puppy!)

StacyLH24

1. I'm 9 dpiui today. I tested out the trigger. I tested with a FRER this morning and of course it was negative. Not sure what I expected. I might wait until Friday to test again. 

2.  Here's an exasperating story...to me anyway.  So I went to Wal Mart after work yesterday to buy my box of 3 FRERs.  When I walked in, there was a very young couple mulling over the pregnancy test choices.  My first thought was "really, they get to reproduce and I don't????".  She looked pretty young and he was pretty filthy, with his pants hanging off his ass and ear buds in his ears and just generally disheveled in appearance.  I walked away until I knew they were done and then went back.  Well, I ended up directly behind them in line.  He looked at the box in my hand and said "you too?", to which I responded "I'm hoping".  His response, which I was expecting - "we're not".  In my head, I was screaming WTF Universe????  Had I thought quick enough I would have said, "I'll take it", "you can choose adoption" and/or "maybe you should buy some condoms too, just in case".  I'm never good with witty come backs though and I was already emotionally beaten from the weekend.  I still can't believe that all happened.  I feel like reproduction is being held out in front of me and then snatched away quickly when I go to reach for it. 

3.  As a result of #2 and some other baby/pregnancy things from over the weekend, I have been doing my best not to cry today.  I'm sure the progesterone isn't helping either.  So far I've managed to hold it together.  Of course, when I could safely cry, I don't feel the need, but when I'm in the middle of a home visit with a client, I could just burst. 

4.  I "came out" with our (mine really, but C and I are a unit together) infertility issues on Facebook about a week and a half ago.  I'm glad I did.  I got some support and I also was able to give some support to an old friend from college.  This week is National Infertility Awareness Week and I have been sharing/posting some stuff on FB.  I'm sure it makes some uncomfortable, but oh well.  I think it should be talked about and put out there. 

5.  This is the first time that I am not anxious to POAS.  I was up until today.  After yesterday, I'm just not feeling it.  I want to get through my birthday and then maybe I will POAS or maybe I will wait for my beta, which is 4/29.  I'm afraid of another BFN.  I know it isn't the end of the world and that we have a plan for moving forward, but for right now I'd like to remain ignorant rather than see a BFN.  I hope that I will be pleasantly surprised, but I just have this feeling of doom and gloom.  Maybe it is all progesterone related? 

6.  We went on a wonderful motorcycle ride last night and it did help me clear my head a bit.  I love it because I put my shield down and I go off into my own little world.  I think about anything and everything. 

7.  I don't post a whole lot on FB, and I always try to make sure that what I do post is never negative.  Well, last night I had just had it with the world.  I posted that I felt like the Universe was using me as a punching bag and that I felt it was someone else's turn.  Truthfully, I don't want the Universe to use anyone as a punching bag...yes, I'm one of those sappy, everyone be happy and get along kind of people.  Anyway, my oldest BIL commented that he would take some for me and that he loves me.  It meant so much to me.  I almost cried...progesterone again I think .  Today my SIL asked me what I wanted to do for my birthday and again, almost cried.  Right now, crying.  UGH!  I just feel so down and out and I hate feeling this way.  I'm trying hard to be patient and follow whatever path I'm meant to follow. 

8.  One of the nice things about the progesterone is that I attribute pretty much anything I feel to it.  Instead of driving myself crazy with symptom watching, I just chalk it up to the progesterone and move on.  The only thing I don't like so far are the heavy cramping feelings.  I had them at 3 & 4 dpiui and started having them again today.  It makes me think AF is coming, but I know that probably isn't going to happen because that is the purpose of the progesterone.  It is a mind f*er for sure!

9.  I was so relieved for @rkbo @firstcomeslove2013 and @doodah1013 that I had tears in my eyes when I saw their posts.  I'm so excited for all of you!

10.  I could not be more excited to go see Aerosmith in July.  This will be the 7th concert of theirs that I've been to in the past 12 years.  I have been a huge fan since I was 8 years old.  I get so excited and have so much fun.