4 days old will barely sleep or will barely stop crying

AstroM145

I've read that newborns sleep a lot (maybe not in consecutive hours). However, my baby is only 4 days old and barely sleeps and will not stop crying. I've nursed for 2 hours (still waiting for the milk supply to come in) to the point where I see my baby nod off and fall asleep (but not for long), changed the diapers, but he is still crying. Is or has anyone gone/going through this? I feel so awful for my baby.

My nipples are so sore just getting used to these first few days of breastfeeding. Has anyone gone through that with their first child? I think the baby is latching correctly..

Avion22

A few things:

- If you are nursing for longer than about 30-40 minutes per feed, then your child is using you as a human pacifier.  I'm not sure what your thoughts are on using pacifiers -- we were told not to introduce them before 4 weeks, but we disregarded that advice and I'm glad we did.  He doesn't have any nipple confusion.   Sometimes babies just need to suck on something.  Consider saving your nipples.

- Where are you putting the baby to sleep?  Sometimes they prefer sleeping on an incline because of reflux or nasal congestion or whatever.  Do you have a RNP?  A bouncy seat?  We use the RNP during the day and the newborn napper attachment to the PNP at night.  The pedi also recommended putting towels or blankets UNDER the crib mattress on one end to create an incline.   

- You can get into a nasty cycle of feedings and diaper changes, which results in the baby not falling asleep.  It sucks.  I haven't figured out how to fix this yet.  

- Do you swaddle?   

apostle922

Swaddling helped us a lot in the beginning.  Our little lady didn't sleep much the first few days we were home and I had latching issues. 

I agree with the PP about the pacifier, our little lady has never had nipple confusion and really only wants a binky at bed time.  She spits it out when she's satisfied. 

momofmanyinthemitten

I've been there. Sending lots of hugs your way- it is sooo frustrating! Watch The 5S's by Harvey Karp. I'm pretty sure it's on YouTube and Netflix. I also found the book The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems to be invaluable. Once I was able to identify which type of baby I had (touchy), and which type of parent I was (textbook), I was better able to meet her needs. I agree with the paci. All 3 of mine used them from day 1 and we never had any issues. I was under the assumption, as a FTM, that babies would just go to sleep when they were tired, but that's not the case. I was horrible at reading DD1's sleep cues, and looking back at video footage, I can't believe I didn't see them. Once I was able to figure out her window of falling asleep time, and used the 5S's on her, life got waaaaay easier. It will get better.

HZ2012

*Lurking* 

I noticed that you said you're waiting for your milk supply to come in. Is it possible he's not getting enough and is hungry?? If so, maybe supplement with formula until your supply is up. 

linzeek44

That sounds a lot like our first week. So much crying, not a lot of sleeping. We did swaddle, we did the 5S's and we did lots of snuggling, skin to skin, and pretty much constant nursing so that he would boost my milk to come in. Talking to a lactation was really helpful for me to feel comfortable continuing to just nurse until my milk came in. 

TCKRunner

We had the same thing for two days while the militant midwives at my hospital tried to convince me to keep nursing... then the night hospital staff told me the truth: she was hungry. So my husband fed her a small amount of formula and guess what? She passed out. I slept. My husband slept. And he felt the experience was also good for him as for the first time - since pregnancy, childbirth, nursing - that he had something he could do to help and bond with the baby.

TCKRunner

Oh, and we also use the pacifier when she's very fussy and has already been fed, had diaper changed, etc. It soothes her very fast. There's been no nipple confusion. I don't know why people keep parading that around - every child is different of course, but neither myself nor a handful of my friends have found there to be any confusion whatsoever.

Aliki

I think newborns crying is like the unspoken secret that parents dont' talk about, lest they scare expectant parents!! As scary as it sounds right now, I'm sure what you're experiencing is pretty normal. Most of us have been through it too. But don't worry, this too shall pass.

I wouldn't recommend supplementing if you want to succeed at your breastfeeding relationship. Every time you give your LO supplement and it satisfies their hunger, that will be one more time they do not suck on your boobs and it will not trigger your body to produce more milk. In other words, every time you give formula/supplement, you throw your supply-demand out of whack.

However, I agree with first poster that 2 hours is a long time. They only need to be on there for 20 minutes, then take a break! Pass LO off to someone else. Swaddle tightly, hold them close to hear your heartbeat, swaddle tightly. 

DRFleener

Google cluster feeding. Also get on you tube and search for the happiest baby on the block and newborn language on Oprah. There really isn't a formula to a newborn it just seems so stressful because of the exhaustion. Get as much help as you can so you can feed on demand.
Hang in there!

AstroM145

Thank you everyone for your input. I greatly appreciate it as it made me a little bit more comfortable to use a pacifier prior to 3 weeks, as advised by medical staff.  I gave into the MAM pacifier later (or early morning) and it has saved my boobs from additional torture.

My milk came in later on the next evening. DS had his first Doctor appointment later that day and the Dr. said if my milk supply didn't come in by the evening, that I should supplement just that once since DS was a little dehydrated.

Thankfully, my milk came in. No problems with nipple confusion (hope it stays that way) with the MAM pacifier.

I do have a RNP but am trying to use both RNP and Bassinet so that when it comes time for him to sleep in the crib he isn't conditioned to sleep at an angle. I will also try the incline under the crib mattress if he ends up getting used to it.