Late Term and Child Loss

Counseling question.

For those of you who started counseling after your loss, how long did you go? Did your counselor let you talk or was there an approach to your sessions? 

I have been going weekly, some weeks solo, some weeks with my honey. When I started, I needed to go weekly to process everything that was going on. I'm in a better spot these days and I'm starting to think that maybe weekly is too much. I still have my bad days (this past weekend I broke down twice) but overall I'm feeling better. Any input? 


Re: Counseling question.

  • I first went biweekly, then monthly. Now I feel like I'm in the same spot as you, but my counselor is very open to taking some time off and no pressure or anything. 

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  • I'm a counselor as well, and knew how important it was for me to get into therapy. I started within a few weeks of losing Ana, and I still go. I met a good match and she's rather laid back and lets me process. We talk about my feelings regarding ttcal now. I started going once a week and now o about every three weeks.

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  • We started seeing a counselor not long after we lost Jack. We've been going as a couple although MH is starting to think he doesn't want to go anymore...honestly I think I'm fine with that. I feel like only an hour for two of us isn't enough for me to talk about all my demons.....probably not even an hour is enough for only me but that will have to do.
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  • I was going before I lost Bunny, but after we lost her I was going either weekly or bi-weekly...after time I slowly spaced it out to where I think I was going monthly...when I got to a really "good" place (as good as you can be) she suggested I just start coming in as now I just call if I need to go in.

    I wouldn't say we really had an agenda...I would usually just start talking and we would work from there.  She eventually started working with me on relaxation exercises and those have been super helpful.

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  • I go weekly. We talk about what triggers were that week, and TTCAL.
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  • ***TICKER***

    I tried right after my loss, and I just wanted in the right place. I went to one session and didn't go back. I wasn't ready to talk.

    After a few months, I found a resource through the military that allowed me to do free online counseling for up to 12 weeks, so I tried that. I had one session a week for 6 weeks, and they lasted an hour. I "met" with my counselor in a private chat room, and I actually really liked that setting. We talked about everything - my grief, how to move forward, trying again etc. He had also worked with other mothers who had experienced loss, so he was able to share their experiences with me and help me move forward. It was awesome and such a big help.

    We don't have any sort of support group here in Stillwater, which is OK. The counseling helped me out a lot. I considered starting one in town, but being a single parent didn't leave me much time.


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  • Thanks ladies for all your feedback. My counselor actually suggested once every 3 weeks without any prompting from me, so I guess her and I were on the same page. 
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