Late Term and Child Loss

How much time did you take off of work?

Hi all. I lost my baby girl on Saturday due to placental abruption. I was 18.5 weeks. My boss said this morning that he expects I'll be out the rest of the week and it caught me off guard. Just a week? I can hardly breathe without sobbing and can't imagine I'll be much better in a week.
Baby Boy - 03/29/10
Baby Boy - 08/02/12
Baby Girl - 04/19/14 Missing her everyday.

Re: How much time did you take off of work?

  • I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my son Ben at 27 weeks due to a placental abruption. I think it's a combination of what you need emotionally and physically. I am taking six weeks of recovery time (I had a RCS) and two days of bereavement so that I can start back on a Wednesday.

    I think I might have been ready to go back sooner if I had a desk job but as a teacher I need to be "on" all the time. My colleagues and boss were all surprised that I am coming back this school year. I hope your boss supports whatever amount of time you decide you need.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers

  • I am so sorry for your loss.  I lost my daughter at 36 weeks and I have been out 4 weeks so far.  I plan to go back this Wednesday.  I also work for the schools (school psychologist) and lots of my coworkers were surprised I would try and come back this school year.  I think generally you are able to go back physically much more quickly than you are able emotionally.  The emotional aspect is different for everyone, but I would think staying out longer than a week is typical.  I hope your boss can be understanding and give you the time you need to grieve. 
    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • Loading the player...
  • ***TICKER***

    I'm so, so sorry for your loss. I had a later loss than yours [almost 35 weeks] - also due to a placental abruption - and I took a full six weeks. My doctor wouldn't let me go back before then since I went through labor/delivery. Did you doctor provide any sort of guidance as to how long he/she wants you out? A week definitely wouldn't have been enough time for me.

    I would talk to your doctor first about healing time/expectations, then have a conversation with your boss. I hope that your boss is understanding and willing to give you the time you need.


    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • * ticker *

    I'm so sorry for your loss, and I know how devastated you are feeling right now :(
    I lost my son July 19th and got out of the hospital a week later. My school year started at the end of August so I went back and started teaching. I think it was about 4 1/2 weeks. For me it was good to have a distraction after a while because being in my quiet and empty house after my husband went back to work was just too sad.

    first son stillborn 7/20/13 at 39 weeks due to Acute Fatty Liver of Pregnancy
    It's a girl! Baby Anna was born August 3, 2014!

  • I lost my daughter at 19 weeks and only took 2 weeks off, which I really regret now.  I wasn't ready to go back to work yet but at the time I felt like "so much time" had passed and I needed to be doing "normal" things.  I wish I had let myself grieve at home a little while longer.

    That being said, I don't think I would have taken more than 3 weeks, but everyone is different.  I kind of needed some structure to my day and didn't need to be home alone all day everyday.

    I did go in a few days before I officially returned with my mom and just said hello to everyone...that got a lot of the crying and anticipation out of the way for my first day back.  My secretary was also awesome and made sure that I always had coffee or lunch or whatever on my desk so I never had to leave my office for a week or so.

    so, so sorry for the loss of your sweet girl.  ((hugs))

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    8/12-Suprise BFP- Sweet Bunny Born Sleeping 11/21/12 (19 weeks)

    -5/7/13- MMC (8 Weeks)

    11/6/13- BO discovered at 7 weeks- natural MC 11/25/13

    8/14- Surpise IF dx...low AMH (.24)- moving on to IVF

    IVF #1- 11/14- 6R5M4F=2 perfect frosties

    12/19/14- FET of 2 embabies = BFP!!!  One Little Bean EDD: 9/3/15

    Everyone Welcome.

  • I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my daughter at 18 weeks. I took one week off but could have taken more if I wanted. My union approached the superintendent to grant me 5 days bereavement. My doc had written me out for 2 weeks. Physically I was fine, emotionally I am still not there. Personally, I would take each day as they come and make the decision later in the week. Being back at work was a welcome distraction, however it was very overwhelming.
  • I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my son at 39 weeks, 5 days to a maternal fetal hemmorage. I was just about the start my maternity leave anyway ams took 8 weeks off. It was tough for me to get back to work- I was still really emotional and distracted. Eventually, the structure of going to work was good for me and helped me a lot.

    I hope you're able to take the time you need to recover.
  • I'm so sorry for your loss. My situation is slightly different in that I had an emergency c-section at 25 weeks. My doctor said absolutely I cannot go back for 6 weeks, but also filled out the fmla papers for up to 12 weeks. My plan is to likely about 8 weeks total. I don't think that I will need 12 weeks and the structure of work will be good, but one week is no time at all. Maybe see how you feel both physically and emotionally after a week and then make a decision?
  • I lost my son at 27w5d and I was given 6 weeks "maternity" leave.  Sorry for your loss. Hugs to you.

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    Lilypie Maternity tickers


  • I am so sorry for your loss. I lost our son to a placental abruption also, when I was 32 weeks pregnant. I had 8 weeks off because I had a c-section and then took a ninth week off become I wasn't ready to go back. My doctor told me she would get me leave for as long as I wanted. I agree with PP that you should check with your doctor and see what they have to say. I would not have been able to go back after just a week and definitely think you should try and get off more time, if you feel you need it.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie Kids Birthday tickers

    Me: 32 DH: 33  High School Sweethearts  Married 5/28/2005
    DS1 born 6/5/10 at 40 weeks via emergency c-section due to fetal distress and IUGR caused by placental insufficiency
    DS2 born still 8/28/13 at 32 weeks via emergency c-section due to a complete placental abruption - cause unknown
    Baby #3 on the way, EDD 2/29/16.  Originally twins, but we said goodbye to Baby B at 8 weeks.
  • I'm so sorry for your loss. We lost Jack at 20weeks... I was hospitalized for a week total before and after we lost him and then went back to work the week after I was released. I just hit a year with the company I'm at so I felt like I needed to get back to work to keep the my husband went back to work and I'd just have been home alone which wouldn't have been good. Work kinda helped me focus on something other than my pain and sorrow at least for 8 hours a day. Hindsight is 20/20 though and I do wish I took a little more time off since I wasn't really even physically well to be going back.
    Me: 33, Endocrine issues & FVL       DH: 32, Nothing 
    NTNP 2009-2012         TTC since 2012:
    • Clomid, 2 IUI cycles, and 5 IVF cycles = BFN
    • FET #1   August 2013 = BFP!     EDD 5/11/14
    • Jack dx at 19w1d with Dandy Walker on 12/16/13
    • Severe Pre-e /HELLP set in Jack born sleeping at 20w1d on 12/23/13
    • FET #2 --July 2014  BFP!  ---  EDD  4/5/15

    Jack has handpicked his sibling up there :)

    My blog about IF and loss ... Kate's IF Blog

            Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 


                                                                              Lilypie Pregnancy tickers


  • I lost my daughter at 20w4d due to IC and was out of work for 4 weeks. I probably could have taken 6, but by the end of 4 I was a little stir crazy and needed the normalcy of my routine. I was also physically healed and didn't need more time for physical recovery.

    As others said, talk to your dr about leave.

    I am so so so sorry for your loss.
    Married 11/23/11, TTC starting 10/12, BFP#1 11/30/12, Adoption of stepson finalized 03/19/13,Loss of our daughter at 20w4d due to incompetent cervix 03/27/13, BFP#2 06/28/13, DS2 born 3/1/14.

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 
    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • I'm so sorry for your loss. I was out for 2 weeks, but in hindsight went back too early. It was a lot for me to deal with and I think that 4 would have worked well for me. That said, it's up to you what works best for you. Make sure you consider that you need to heal both physically and emotionally (at least enough to be able to work) before you go back. Sometimes I think that others don't consider that.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • MCH77MCH77 member
    **siggy warning**

    I only took a week after losing my son at 24w. It was a good transition time in the school year. Plus I needed the distraction. I just didn't want to be alone (DH was back at work). I've allowed myself to take sick days since then. When I'm overwhelmed I just don't go to work and I'm ok with that.


    BFP #1 March 24, 2010; missed m/c May 26, 2010 @ 12w 4d; D&E May 28, 2010

    BFP #2 Oct 20, 2010; My little boy was born on July 5, 2011

    BFP #3 April 30, 2013; Chemical Pg May 5, 2013

    BFP #4 Aug 22, 2013; It's a boy.  Loss discovered at 24 weeks on Jan 15, 2014 (cause CMV virus)    

                                  <3 We love and miss you Timothy <3

    BFP #5 April 6, 2014; missed m/c May 15, 2014 @ 9 weeks; Misoprostol May 15, 2014; D&C May June 3, 2014

  • I'm sorry for your loss *hugs* I lost Joseph at 22.5 wks and I'm still out of work it's been close to 6wks ... everyone is different but I work in a corporate environment that's high stress so I'm planning to take what they give me which I'm assuming is 12 weeks based on maternity leave and FMLA to get my head right before going back. I manage a team of people and right now I know I am not in a position to do that so taking the extra time - xo
  • --ticker--Idk how to delete it on mobile.

    I lost my son 2.5 weeks ago when he was a day shy of 27 weeks. I went back to work one week after delivery. Echoing what everyone else has said, each person is different and has their own needs for healing. For me, getting back into my routine was the best medicine. Work gives me a sense of purpose and that has helped. But, everyone is different. I hope your employer will respect your wishes, whatever they may be!
    Me: 27    DH: 30
    Married in 2011
    Baby 1: Stillborn at 27 weeks (April 2014)
    Baby 2: Due May 2016

  • I losy my boy at 27 weeks. He was birn Feb 12th. I am going back to work next week.
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards