New attitude

Radiantly

Hi all
I am feeling inspired by all the recent comments that are so warm and supportive and I want to share my new attitude that I've discovered.

So, I've been trying since August and trying hard since December. I've watched many friends announce pregnancies the last couple of months and some are after difficult journey so that's hopeful. I haven't been to a dr yet I keep saying to myself that I will wait till 6 months of timing it right. I've even missed 2 months due to travel in 2014 and am in my 2WW now on 9dpo. I might have missed my ovulation due to travel or caught it just in time. I did OPK right when I got home and it was smiley face so we BD the next 4 days. My temp rose 2 days after OPK+. That's where I am now.

I have tried maya abdominal massage, which I do every night (almost!) and noticed my last period was clean no clots and bright red blood and no cramps. Which means the maya stuff works. They say "first prize is healthy period, second prize is healthy baby." Ok.

I have tried acupuncture too for the last 4 months sporadically. Going to step it up to weekly. She has been sayin things like don't eat vitamins just real food. Argh. Everything with a grain of salt. She said she could tell my brain was obsessing over a single thought and I needed to relax. Then she told me to envision what it's like to be with my baby. To envision all the details. That seemed like conflicting advice. I left confused.

Saw an angel healer in Cali on my trip. He was awesome and I loved the healing combo massage. He said to know deep inside that I am already pregnant. And it will come into truth. Okay..... So I was putting energy into envisioning being pregnant and it felt like a lot of work. How to relax??

MY POINT: thanks for reading so far. So in therapy last week I told her that I've been getting conflicting advice from all over the place. And how to relax while also envisioning the baby is already here??

She said to look at it this way: IT IS POSSIBLE THAT I AM PREGNANT. I hold my intention of possibility. And then after AF, it isn't as much of a downer. I don't know if I'm explaining this right. Ever since we discussed this, I feel a lightness. A less obsessive checking of my app. I've been into manifestation and how to work with the energy of our wishes. I found my husband through hard work on myself and when I finally realized that I DID deserve someone as awesome as possible I found him (online btw). And with the baby I'm not going to have any doubts. Just know the future involves a little me looking up and smiling, holding my hand. Around age 3. That is my visualization. I'm not worrying about exactly when I am pregnant just that I will have a beautiful happy healthy baby. I'm seeing a girl in my vision.

So I'm focussing on the outcome and not the process. Does that make sense to anyone? I'm sure after a long time of trying everyone must deal with changing their perspective. To help with stress.

Ok that's it I wanted to share. Love and blessings to everyone here.

Radiantly

Update excitement I just wiped and it was spotting. Now either I am getting my period 4-5 days early or this my first implantation bleed. I will know in a few hours bc my periods come on fast. Breathing. Sweating! Dpo9

Radiantly

And.... It's AF super early. Wtf!! I had an OPKpos on CD14 and AF on day 24 that's only a 8 or 9 day luteal phase. Huh??? It's always been around 13-14. Someone explain? It's a heavy flow btw just like normal period. And I have no cramps but like I said the maya massage seems to have eliminated cramps. Someone else had 5 days early period this month too. Strange!!!??

Anyway the bright side is this month we will have more sex as I'm not traveling.

MelissaMiso

This journey is such a roller coaster. Sorry about the BFN. I think I will look into the maya massage stuff.

TAT2MAMI

@Radiantly - As you know, my AF came early this month too. I'm sorry. But don't let this dampen your newfound attitude. It will happen!

Davie813

Sorry this wasn't the month.  FX for you next time, though.  Having such a positive mindset can only help!

Radiantly

Yea.  My bday is on a 23rd, as was my dad's and best friend growing up. And my DH is on the 24th. So now this is just my body adjusting for timing, so JAN 23rd IT IS!! AMIRight?!

Tsuga76

@Radiantly - RIGHT! clearly it's all meant to keep your family tradition - great way to look at it. Incidentally, my birthday is also a 23rd

I was in the same boat this morning - a little spotting, hoping maybe it was just that and not AF, as it would be a little early.  Now, it looks like AF is indeed coming on, making my LP no more than 10 days.  It's usually 11-12.  Weird that several of us have had similar issues.  Maybe it's the weather...

And thank you so much for sharing your journey and thoughts.  That's such an inspiring way to look at things.  I've been falling into the completely opposite thought process, bracing myself for if it never works out, and trying to come up with a plan B that I can be ok with.  I can't say any of that has made me feel an ounce better, though, and maybe I should try cultivating a more positive perspective. 

Keep thinking those good thoughts, and fx that this will be the month!

kindershlitz

Sorry this wasn't your month but the mind is a powerful thing so staying positive is great.   I'm a 23rd too! 

Radiantly

OMG 23rd in the house!

Radiantly

Yea, maybe the weather. Maybe springtime has boosted us all up and we ovulated early. That's what I think happened this time. But I can't tell. Every fricken month is different!  Sometimes it seems I O just a handful of days after my period ends (day 10-12 or so) and other months not till day 18 or even 20.