Be honest with me

Amores0121

...How much does your vagina change after giving vaginal birth?  I am doing a VBAC and I last night DH and I were discussing sex after giving birth. I said that it's going to be different..he says "it will go back, it will be fine, your vagina is made to stretch like that". I told him my boobs didn't go back to normal and neither did my skin-they got stretched out, why would my vagina go back? He acted like I was crazy.

What's the verdict?

JEPES1348

MH perceives no difference. Nor do I, now that I'm 9 months post.

CLLDLL

Mine changed.  Not for the worse or the better.  Just different.  Certain positions I used to like before don't feel the same.  But other positions I hated before are better now. Also I had to switch tampon brands because the brand I used to love pre-baby just doesn't fit right now. 

I think for me the biggest thing was taking things slow at first & trying not to get frustrated when it didn't go so well. By 6-8 months PP things were MUCH better than at 6-8 weeks PP.

JEPES1348

There you go again, @CLLDLL; showing us up with your perfectly detailed responses. Every time I post a discussion, I secretly hope and wait for you to respond, because I want your advice directed toward me.  ^:)^

TJ1979

It's like throwing a hot dog down a hallway over here. Might as well cut your losses and give up on sex.

But really, I haven't asked mh if anything changed for him, but I agree with clldll

mrshudson618

DH says he can tell a difference. Not worse or looser, but just different. I can't tell. 

TMI: The one thing that I did notice that freaked me out a little was that my cervical opening was different. Using NFP, I sometimes do cervical checks, so I was familiar with what my cervix felt like before. The first time PP I felt it, I was WTF? It had turned into a slit, instead of a small hole. Google said totally normal, but why the hell didn't any of my NFP books or resources mention this?

JEPES1348

I also birthed a wee 4-pounder, so there's that. Yet I still managed to tear...

Rrrrrachel

Your husband is right. His genitals stretch to several times their normal size everytime he gets aroused. Yet they're not ruined. It will be fine.

MAdams728

I've only had one baby, but there was no difference for him, he said. I can feel where I tore, though. Scar tissue doesn't stretch well, but it's not an issue as long as lube is involved. DD is almost 11 months, and sex is good now, but it definitely was not for the first 4-5 months.

sarenu1

TJ1979 said:

It's like throwing a hot dog down a hallway over here. Might as well cut your losses and give up on sex.

But really, I haven't asked mh if anything changed for him, but I agree with clldll

Damn, you beat me to it. I've wanted to use that for so long.

Two kids here and the worst part is breastfeeding kills my sex drive. Or it's exhaustion, one or the other.

Sex isn't worse or better just a little different. But then my OB commented that I heal really well and you really can't even tell I've had any stitches down there.

BoyOhBoys

What is this "sex' you speak of?

Amores0121

@TJ1979 LOL Oh Lord...

@mrshudson618 Actually, I think it mentions it in the fertility book...you know the one everyone recs..I am having a brain fart and can't remember what it's called even though I have it. I think there is a pic of the difference of the two. But I never did cervical checks, so I don't think I will notice that difference.

Thanks for your opinions, everyone! Anyone do any "excercises" to strengthen that area after birth?

PipSqueak0313

Maybe I'm weird, but I'm tighter now than I was before my third vag birth....I didn't notice any difference after healing from my first two. I had episiotomies with the first two and just tore with the third.....If by some freaky chance, I have a fourth, I'm requesting the episiotomy again.

CopperT0p

DS2 was a VBAC with second degree tear. 

Sex after my c-section with DS1 was always uncomfortable, even with tons of lube.  After the VBAC I seem to somehow be back to normal. No more discomfort and sex is enjoyable again!  DH is happy and so am I. 

Mandmeesh

no changes here.  except that I need lube all.the.time.  i'm bfing and we….never have sex? lol

so there's that

unaveragejane

It was weird at first but got much better after the first few months. The only difference I could tell after about 6 months was that sometimes the scar from the episiotomy gets a little sensitive.

BoyOhBoys

Mandmeesh said:

no changes here.  except that I need lube all.the.time.  i'm bfing and we….never have sex? lol

so there's that

same...

YellowLily2013

I didn't have a sex drive until my period returned. Now I want it. and it feels good!

I don't think it's changed substantially.

Rrrrrachel

Breastfeeding makes your vaginal walls very thin and dry due to hormones. My midwife said it was like you were in menopause. But it's temporary!

Into+the+Kitty

This may be TMI, but I used to have a vaginal orgasm every time we had sex, and now it takes more effort. I think it may be in part because I am still BFing, or at least I hope. My H has said that things feel exactly the same for him.

TJ1979

Into+the+Kitty said:

This may be TMI, but I used to have a vaginal orgasm every time we had sex, and now it takes more effort. I think it may be in part because I am still BFing, or at least I hope. My H has said that things feel exactly the same for him.

I hate you a little bit.

Chichigo

I have this adorable little baby, so I must have had sex, but it's been so long I don't remember.

I actually don't feel any different, just uncomfortable. But we are pretty rushed so I don't feel prepared before. My doctor said I healed perfectly.

unaveragejane

Chichigo said:

I have this adorable little baby, so I must have had sex, but it's been so long I don't remember. I actually don't feel any different, just uncomfortable. But we are pretty rushed so I don't feel prepared before. My doctor said I healed perfectly.

Oh my gosh, sometimes I for real wonder how on earth we ever made babies. I think DH forgot his parts are good for more than just taking a pee.

Lild09

Ah ladies your getting me nervous lol! I'm 3 weeks from my due date and the last little bit I haven't felt well so there hasn't been much sex. I guess stock up on lube since I plan to bf? Lol

Into+the+Kitty

TJ1979 said:

Into+the+Kitty said:

This may be TMI, but I used to have a vaginal orgasm every time we had sex, and now it takes more effort. I think it may be in part because I am still BFing, or at least I hope. My H has said that things feel exactly the same for him.

I hate you a little bit.

I want to cry so bad. But I don't think I can spare the moisture.


(I realize this is a Lucille quote, but there's no animated gif of it so you get Lindsay.)

zaraceligon

Lild09 said:

Ah ladies your getting me nervous lol! I'm 3 weeks from my due date and the last little bit I haven't felt well so there hasn't been much sex. I guess stock up on lube since I plan to bf? Lol

The best thing you can do to help you delivery fast it's start having sex. Having sex a least two weeks before your do day help to relax your muscle.

zaraceligon

For me nothing change,with my first pregnancy having sex was amusing, with my second not really. But recently having sex is getting better.

unaveragejane

zaraceligon said:

Lild09 said:

Ah ladies your getting me nervous lol! I'm 3 weeks from my due date and the last little bit I haven't felt well so there hasn't been much sex. I guess stock up on lube since I plan to bf? Lol

The best thing you can do to help you delivery fast it's start having sex. Having sex a least two weeks before your do day help to relax your muscle.

I wish this had been the case for us. By the end of my first pregnancy there was nothing relaxing about trying to have sex. :-S

Sgriff1

2 months now and MH says it feels better. I'm wondering if it's because he had to wait so long to have sex though? Feels about the same to me now after the first couple times. It really does go right back to normal.

Tmgs2013

Wait... People have sex after having a baby??? Holy crap I'm doing it wrong.

Amores0121

Tmgs2013 said:

Wait... People have sex after having a baby??? Holy crap I'm doing it wrong.

Hee hee. Yeah I'm sure there won't be too much of that for awhile..it's onlyl like once a week now so, I'm anticipating like once a month or something.

Dreamingmommy4

@Amores0121‌ You can do kegal exercises before and after you give birth, those strengthen the pelvic floor muscles which helps everything to tighten up again. I am approaching 5 months PP and I am actually starting to occasionally want sex again, I haven't had a sex drive since 2nd tri, so DH is happy. Things don't feel any different for him, maybe a little tighter than before but nothing major. If we go too long between (a week or more) having sex things can get pretty uncomfortable for me, but since I EBF I think it's just the dryness and the thinness of the vaginal walls that's the problem. Use lots of lube and it does get better it just takes time and patience.

bumpuser5078523

I found extra foreplay is needed or it's uncomfortable. I had a c-section, but pp sex still sucks if you aren't super ready. Lube helps, but your vagina changes when it's ready (it elongates and relaxes, I believe) and that's important when your super sensitive already.

My friend said her husband noticed a difference. He said it was different, but not in a bad way.

freezorburn

Also if you have problems with dryness you can talk to your Ob/Gyn and they can give you a Rx for estrogen cream.