Hi, I didn't see a newbie thread or blog, so I'm not sure what the rules are.
I have a "sunshine baby" who is 2.5 and my angel was stillborn at 20w almost 6 months ago.
With my angel Noah, I had terrible HG and had a pump for Zofran and a PICC for IV fluids daily at home. I lost an average of 4lbs a week in 1st tri, and 2lbs a week in 2nd tri. At 18w we were told after an ultrasound that the ventricles in his brain were enlarged. Normal is 5-8mm, and Noah's were 18. He has a cyst in his brain that prevented the cerebellum from forming and what was left of his brain was being crushed by the cyst and the fluid. There was no hope of survival and I was induced at 20w.
The 6 month milestones are hard for me. I also feel like everyone was supportive at first, but now they think I should be over it. I share my grief pretty openly, and I've started getting comments about how I seem "unhealthy" and they are "worried about me." Which just infuriates me. I take care of my LO, I am out at playgroups with him where I am around other babies Noah's age, I volunteer coach at the high school and I am in therapy. I function, but I'm grieving.
We did mild fertility treatments with DS1 (femara + progesterone) and just progesterone with Noah. We have been TTC again and are seein an RE. We have MFI as well as low egg count/quality for me and only one functioning ovary. We have been getting all this IF news I the last 2 weeks, which somehow makes my grief stronger.
I need a safe place to vent and talk to other moms who "get it" and am hoping this community will be a good fit.