"You have it sooooo easy...."

EMarieMe

One of my fellow OAD'ers from work is headed off for vacation with her 6 year old for two weeks and she was commenting on how easy it is to travel with him now.  I mentioned that I look forward to that one day too.

She then told me a little story. About a year ago they were headed of to Mexico for their second time in nine months and a friend of hers made the comment, "You couldn't do that with more than one kid. You have it soooo easy." Not in a compliment way, but that sort of b!tch speak way. She responded by saying, "Yep. That was by design."

Her friend was a tad offended.  I tell you all this because it's funny and also because I desperately need a vacation.

So, would you have the balls when to answer the same? If someone did that eye-roll-shrug thing with a "You have it so easy....."? I'm worried in the moment I would end up apologizing or something instead of just owning it.

TiffanyBerry

If it were indeed part of the plan, I would absolutely say that - straightfaced with a hint of "well, no shite" as well.

this decaf life

I never apologize for something I chose consciously. I'd have said something like "yep, that's how we planned it" 

Side note - it always drives me crazy when people tell me I'm "so lucky to have a girl" because they're "so much easier." DD is awesome, she explores and climbs on everything but she's also responsive when I ask her not to do something because I've worked really hard at trying to make her behave like that.  I'm not lucky. I've put in a ton of effort so STFU. I have stopped people in conversation and stood up for myself, I don't think people realize how condescending it is to tell me my girl is "easier" than your boy.

Wow, that rant got a little away from me....

TittsMcGee

I'd probably answer it in a similar manner.

As @2013mommy mentioned one of the reasons we're OaD because we do want to go on vacations once in a while an dtraveling with 1 kid is much easier not to mention cheaper than traveling with multiple children.

EMarieMe

My plan is to also reply like many of you. Thinking on it, the gut reaction to apologize comes something else in my history...I've always been naturally thin, and to this day I still occasionally am made to feel bad about it. 

I do dance, workout regularly and eat healthy, that combined with genetics put me back in shape pretty quickly after the baby.  I get alot of backhanded compliments even a claim of astonishment that my son was born healthy (old lady at a restaurant.)

When I was younger, I explained andapologized for my weight because I heard many times about how hard it was for other people and that I should be lucky/grateful. To this day when I'm reading my feminist blogs and the topic of weight/thin privilege comes up, it still seems wrong to answer any questions or comments on my weight in anyway but sheepish or meek.

So while in most aspects of my life I'm pretty quick witted when it comes to bullshit, I kind of have this hang-up in a few areas. The two aren't really connected and I don't know why my brain is going there, but it is and I need to snap the fudge out of it.

I went all meta. Sorry.

hopanka

What I dont get is that her "friend" is now offended even though SHE was the one who started with the snark about having it soooo easy in the first place. All the other chick did was come up with a good and honest comeback. So, if she cant take it, she shouldnt have been bitchy and judgemental in the first place.

IME, "friends" like that need to be avoided.

Chapter79

This has happened to me once- VERY similar words.. "wow, you have it really easy".. and I can't remember exactly word for word what I said (this was a few years ago) but it was to the tune of "Yep, we had just one for that very reason".

(and yes, traveling with older kids is SO MUCH easier).

[Deleted User]

I think I would say something like, "Well, there's hard parts and easy parts." Just bc I have 1 kid doesn't mean everything's cake! I think being a parent of any # of kids is hard!

EMarieMe

You guys are the all the best. @hopanka‌ I think in cases like this, sometimes people are fishing for compliments in a way. Like maybe she was supposed to say something like, "Oh but your kids have playmates" or blah, blah.

kristennd

this decaf life said:

Side note - it always drives me crazy when people tell me I'm "so lucky to have a girl" because they're "so much easier." DD is awesome, she explores and climbs on everything but she's also responsive when I ask her not to do something because I've worked really hard at trying to make her behave like that.  I'm not lucky. I've put in a ton of effort so STFU. I have stopped people in conversation and stood up for myself, I don't think people realize how condescending it is to tell me my girl is "easier" than your boy.

Wow, that rant got a little away from me....

That's funny because I have a boy and regularly think that at least he's easier than a girl would be.

PB102012

I would absolutely be sarcastic back. Just like its my choice to only have one child, it's someone else's to have more than one.

KS02CS08

I would say ya sucks to be you lmao

michelle615

Um, sounds like the friend with more than one is jealous much?  I'd probably respond with something like is parenting ever easy?

hopefulmom81

EMarieMe said:

She then told me a little story. About a year ago they were headed of to Mexico for their second time in nine months and a friend of hers made the comment, "You couldn't do that with more than one kid. You have it soooo easy." Not in a compliment way, but that sort of b!tch speak way. She responded by saying, "Yep. That was by design."

meo34

I would have responded that way as well. I get that alot and so I go overboard taking about all my free time with my feet up, drinking coffee and reading books, lol. I love it. And it is defintely true that as they get older it gets easier.